TODAY I WATCHED (Movies, TV Shows) 2016

ROH

k 9 cops..

Insomnia fueled double feature...

"The Keep" (1983)


During WWII, a troop of Nazis arrives in a rural Romanian village and sets up HQ in a huge stone citadel in the center of town. They soon learn that the locals avoid the place for a reason, as they accidentally unleash an ancient evil from within the walls which claims them one by one. 
This strange, artsy horror flick has a way-cool concept but unfortunately it totally drops the ball. Supposedly "The Keep" had a troubled production history and was eventually disowned by director Michael Mann, and I can see why. The movie's only 96 minutes long but feels like at least twice that, the special FX are laughable, and it wastes a great cast (incl. Sir Ian McKellen, Gabriel Byrne and Scott Glenn). AVOID.

"The Satanic Rites of Dracula" (1973)


A Scotland Yard detective investigating apparent occult activity around swingin' '70s London stumbles across a plot by a group of Satan worshippers - led by The Big D himself  - to destroy the entire world with a new strain of Black Plague. This flick marked the last time that Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing teamed up to play Dracula and Van Helsing for England's legendary Hammer Studios, and it's a fun ride.

The Exorcist tv show

The Swarm (1978)

Irwin Allen directed disaster flick about Africanized killer bees invading Texas. Typical disaster movie with an all star cast led by Michael Caine, but this one is really bad. Unintentional humor,suspect acting (despite the good cast), and overlong (2 and a half hours) leafs to a tedious viewing. For masochists only.

I actually read the paperback of that movie back in the day.  I never have seen the movie but I remember enjoying the book.

Oooh yea, "The Swarm" was pretty bad. I liked it as a kid but I revisited it a couple of years ago and it was a chore to get through.

The Eagles Farewell Tour I

Since the weather here went from 83 degrees two days ago to highs in the 40s with 30mph wind gusts today I decided to go with the old elliptical workout today and watched the first 40 minutes of this concert DVD.

The whole time I kept thinking how sad it is that Glenn Frey is gone.  He and Don Henley are not only great songwriters but also consummate musicians and vocalists.  It's fun to watch the two of them switch back and forth between keyboards/guitarist/lead vocalist for Frey and drums/lead vocalist for Henley.  And the rest of the band and supplementary musicians are also really tight. 

Great DVD if you enjoy the music of The Eagles.

Terror Train (1980)

Pre med students (including Jamie Lee Curtis) play a prank on a fellow student during a New Years Eve party. The prank backfires though and the victim ends up institutionalized. Three years later, the pranksters board a train for a costumed New Years Eve party. Naturally, someone else joins the party and starts picking off the pranksters. I liked this. The setting and the way the killer would take out his victim then wear his disguise to move about the party really clicked for me.

Pieces (1982)

In 1942 Boston, a kid is putting together a puzzle of a nude woman. His mom busts him and punishes him. He reacts by taking an axe to her then cutting her up. 40 years later, he takes to hacking up coeds to piece together his very own nude woman (and some weird mommy issues). Nice gore,a totally out of nowhere cameo by Bruce Le, and a complete wtf ending made this a good watch.

007 wrote:

Pieces (1982)

In 1942 Boston, a kid is putting together a puzzle of a nude woman. His mom busts him and punishes him. He reacts by taking an axe to her then cutting her up. 40 years later, he takes to hacking up coeds to piece together his very own nude woman (and some weird mommy issues). Nice gore,a totally out of nowhere cameo by Bruce Le, and a complete wtf ending made this a good watch.

I used to see that in the old video stores back in the day but I don't think I ever actually watched it.

Batman: The Killing Joke. If DC Comics live action films were as good as their animated movies, they would be amazing

007 wrote:

Pieces (1982)

In 1942 Boston, a kid is putting together a puzzle of a nude woman. His mom busts him and punishes him. He reacts by taking an axe to her then cutting her up. 40 years later, he takes to hacking up coeds to piece together his very own nude woman (and some weird mommy issues). Nice gore,a totally out of nowhere cameo by Bruce Le, and a complete wtf ending made this a good watch.

That flick is such a shoddy, sleazy mess but it's still entertaining as hell. Plus the poster has one of the all time great tag lines: "You don't have to go to Texas for a chainsaw massacre!"

It's been a cold, wet, crappy "stay inside and watch movies" kind of day...

"Would You Rather" (2012)


A woman who's desperate to fund her dying brother's cancer treatment finds herself invited to a "dinner party" hosted by a mysterious philanthropist (Jeffrey "Re-Animator" Combs), whose idea of an after dinner "party game" is to pit his guests against one another in a big-money, winner take all contest of wills, morals and endurance. A tight, twisty little psycho-thriller that doesn't skimp on the nasty stuff, a pleasant surprise.

"TC 2000" (1993)

In the post-apocalypse future, everyone dresses like they're in an '80s metal video, and the fortunate people live in vast underground cities while the rest battle to survive in the wasteland "surface world" above. Martial artist Billy Blanks (of "Tae-Bo" workout video fame) plays a cop who teams up with a resistance fighter (Bolo "Bloodsport" Yeung) to stop a conspiracy that will ignite war between the two sides. Oh, and a hot chick gets turned into some kind of cyborg robo-kung-fu-mega-asskicking machine for some reason.
Cheap, chop-socky nonsense that's basically an excuse to watch dudes beat the sh*t out of each other for 90 minutes straight.

Went to the drive-in with the girlfriend and my son.

Arrival

The Walking Dead

Fat Freddy wrote:

It's been a cold, wet, crappy "stay inside and watch movies" kind of day...

"Would You Rather" (2012)


A woman who's desperate to fund her dying brother's cancer treatment finds herself invited to a "dinner party" hosted by a mysterious philanthropist (Jeffrey "Re-Animator" Combs), whose idea of an after dinner "party game" is to pit his guests against one another in a big-money, winner take all contest of wills, morals and endurance. A tight, twisty little psycho-thriller that doesn't skimp on the nasty stuff, a pleasant surprise.

Now I have to see this one.  Not only does it star Jeffrey Combs but it also features Robin Lord Taylor who plays The Penguin on "Gotham".

tohostudios wrote:

Now I have to see this one.  Not only does it star Jeffrey Combs but it also features Robin Lord Taylor who plays The Penguin on "Gotham".

...thank you! I knew that guy looked familiar, but I couldn't place him. I haven't kept up with "Gotham" since the first season ....

Former porn star Sasha Grey is also in it as one of the party guests, but she keeps her clothes on.

tohostudios wrote:

007 wrote:

Pieces (1982)

In 1942 Boston, a kid is putting together a puzzle of a nude woman. His mom busts him and punishes him. He reacts by taking an axe to her then cutting her up. 40 years later, he takes to hacking up coeds to piece together his very own nude woman (and some weird mommy issues). Nice gore,a totally out of nowhere cameo by Bruce Le, and a complete wtf ending made this a good watch.

I used to see that in the old video stores back in the day but I don't think I ever actually watched it.

Same here.

It was directed by the same guy who made The Pod People, a famous MST3K episode.

"One Down, Two To Go" (1982)

A trio of West Coast bad-asses (Fred "The Hammer" Williamson, "Gentleman" Jim Brown and Richard "Shaft" Roundtree) mix it up with the New York mob after one of their pals (martial arts legend Jim Kelly) gets roughed up at a rigged karate tournament.
A fairly "meh" late-inning entry in the blaxploitation genre, the stars all seem to be having fun but the action is by-the-numbers. Fans of Williamson, Brown and Kelly would be better off re-watching the trio's far superior "Three The Hard Way" (1974) instead.

Scream Queens

Criminal Minds

"Star Crystal" (1986)

Survivors of a space station disaster find themselves trapped in their escape shuttle with a homicidal extraterrestrial something-or-other.
In other words, it's yet another cheap sh*t "Alien" wanna-be, but this one's worse than usual due to the snail pace, the cardboard sets, the community-theater level performances, and the absolutely laughable creature FX.
AVOID!

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
Modern Family

Watched a big time turkey today in honor of Thanksgiving:

"The Possession of Nurse Sherri" (1978)


The leader of a bizarre religious cult dies while undergoing heart surgery, and his spirit possesses one of the hospital nurses, who then starts randomly murdering people ... for revenge (?) or something... I guess. (shrugs)

...that's about all the explanation you get in this bizarro-world "Exorcist" variant from legendary Z-Movie director Al Adamson (whose extensive exploitation filmography contains such additional gems as "Black Fist," "Blood of Ghastly Horror" and "I Spit On Your Corpse"), and it was a chore to get through. It's full of plot holes, awkward pacing, unintentionally hilarious dialogue, cheap set pieces, and laughable acting.

This movie has been released under a host of alternate titles including "Terror Hospital," "Black Voodoo," "Beyond The Living," and "Killer's Curse," none of which really fit either. An alternate cut of the movie, titled simply "Nurse Sherri," also exists, which apparently drops much of the horror elements in favor of a bunch of softcore sex scenes featuring the well-endowed nurses. I kinda wish I'd watched that version instead...