TODAY I WATCHED (Movies, TV Shows) 2016

"Krampus" (2015)



A dysfunctional family's Christmas celebration becomes a fight for survival when the demonic anti-Santa of German yuletide folklore crashes the party. I was kinda hoping for something with a bigger/more horrific mean streak at first, but Michael "Trick r' Treat" Dougherty's entertaining black comedy/horror/fantasy eventually won me over with its fast pace, clever dialogue and cool creature FX.

"Krampus: The Christmas Devil" (2013)

A cop who narrowly escaped the clutches of the Yuletide demon 30 years ago when he was a kid  prepares to face the creature again when local children begin disappearing.
...do NOT confuse this movie with the unrelated and far superior "Krampus" flick I reviewed above. This one is a zero budget, shot on video amateur-night piece of sh*t that may be the worst movie I've seen all year.
AVOID.

Fat Freddy wrote:

"Krampus" (2015)



A dysfunctional family's Christmas celebration becomes a fight for survival when the demonic anti-Santa of German yuletide folklore crashes the party. I was kinda hoping for something with a bigger/more horrific mean streak at first, but Michael "Trick r' Treat" Dougherty's entertaining black comedy/horror/fantasy eventually won me over with its fast pace, clever dialogue and cool creature FX.

I just ordered this the other day. I needed some new blood to add to my Christmas horror moviethon.

tohostudios wrote:

Fat Freddy wrote:

"Krampus" (2015)



A dysfunctional family's Christmas celebration becomes a fight for survival when the demonic anti-Santa of German yuletide folklore crashes the party. I was kinda hoping for something with a bigger/more horrific mean streak at first, but Michael "Trick r' Treat" Dougherty's entertaining black comedy/horror/fantasy eventually won me over with its fast pace, clever dialogue and cool creature FX.

I just ordered this the other day.  I needed some new blood to add to my Christmas horror moviethon.  

It was fun, not as "horrific" as I was expecting from the trailers (it's very tongue in cheek, ala "Gremlins") but entertaining. I preferred " Trick r' Treat" from the same director though.

...and obviously it was miles ahead of the "other" Krampus piece of crap I just watched!

I just found another one called "A Christmas Horror Story" on Netflix that I plan on checking out this week. It's an anthology style flick narrated by William Shatner! How can you pass that up?

HAHAHA! Amazon suggested that one to me after I ordered Krampus.

tohostudios wrote:

HAHAHA!  Amazon suggested that one to me after I ordered Krampus.

It's got a pretty decent rating on IMDb, supposedly one of the segments involves a zombie outbreak among Santa's elves

"Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre" (2015)



A group of escapees from an Arkansas women's prison work program try to elude pursuit by hiding out deep in a swamp. Unfortunately, the pistol packin' gals soon learn that the swamp waters are infested by monstrous prehistoric sharks, freed from deep underground by natural-gas "fracking." Traci Lords (who appears to be aging gracefully) is a federal marshal on their trail. You can probably write the rest yourself.
As you might expect, this all-too-obvious "Sharknado" variant from cheapo jiggle-exploitation kingpin Jim "I Never Saw Cleavage I Didn't Like" Wynorski is dumb as a box of rocks, but the eye candy is outstanding and the well-endowed cast resists the urge to camp it up. By playing it straight, they make the whole thing funnier.

"Sharknado: Feeding Frenzy" (2015)


A documentary that traces the history of the "Sharknado" film series from its humble beginnings as a ridiculous script that nobody wanted to touch, to the full-blown star studded pop culture and social media phenomenon that it's become today. Fans of the series will get a kick out of all the behind the scenes scoop but if you're not already down with the 'nado there's nothing here that will change your mind.

I just ordered A Christmas Horror Story.

Scream Queens

Skyfall

The Walking Dead

The Jeffersons

The Middle
American Housewife
Scream Queens

Smackdown

Tonight I'm kicking off the annual Toho Holiday Horrorfest with the traditional holiday classic "Santa's Slay" starring the now recently signed WWE star Bill Goldberg:

With the kids tonight...

"The Angry Birds Movie" (2016)

On an island populated by flightless, clueless, perpetually perky birds, one red misfit with a bad temper stands out from the rest...until they're invaded by a horde of egg-stealing hillbilly pigs, and Red's anger management issues suddenly make him an asset.
Based (of course) on the mega-hit game franchise, this flick is beautifully animated, action packed, frequently funny and way better than I expected.

tohostudios wrote:

Tonight I'm kicking off the annual Toho Holiday Horrorfest with the traditional holiday classic "Santa's Slay" starring the now recently signed WWE star Bill Goldberg:

I still have never seen that.

Tonight I watched the Goldberg's.

As usual every year when I watch Santa's Slay I find something new that I missed in previous viewings.  This year's discovery was a classic.  This flick is just littered with cameos; Fran Drescher, James Caan, Tiny Lister, Dave Thomas...tons of them. 

So after watching it tonight I decided to look the movie up on IMdb to get the entire cast and see who I might have missed.  And boy did I miss a big one.  There's an uncredited cameo by notoriously bad WCW Wrestling booker Vince Russo as a patron at the stripper bar that Goldberg (Santa) invades.  And Santa ends up electrocuting him. 

That has to be intentional.  Goldberg getting symbolic revenge on the guy who originally booked him in WCW as an unstoppable force but than had him lose to Russo's buddy Kevin Nash.  So Goldberg gets to electrocute him in the movie.

^^^ That's funny! I really have to check this out.

"A Christmas Horror Story" (2015)


This nifty little anthology flick features four tales of Yuletide terror - film students investigate a Christmas eve murder, trespassers bring home something evil along with their Christmas tree, a dysfunctional family meets Krampus, and a buffed out, badass Santa deals with a zombie outbreak amongst his e!ves. Added bonus: William Shatner ties it all together as a drunken radio DJ (in an ugly Christmas sweater!) who serves as host/narrator.

I thoroughly enjoyed this - the production values were better than I expected for a straight to DVD flick, it's got lotsa cool/spooky/wintry atmosphere and a way bigger mean streak than "Krampus." Highly recommended!

Toho, I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this one!

My copy just came today.  I was planning to watch Krampus but you've convinced me to watch A Christmas Horror Story instead. 

The cover blurb from BloodyDisgusting cracks me up:

"A gift of holiday cheer and insane bloody violence."

What's not to like?

"Home Alone" (1990)


Inadvertently left behind when his family heads off on a holiday trip to Paris, 8 year old Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) must defend his home from a pair of bumbling burglars (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) in John Hughes and Chris Columbus' enduring holiday classic. I hadn't seen this one in quite a few years and my 9 year old had never seen it before, we both laughed all the way through it.

A Christmas Horror Story

Mainly due to Fat Freddy's recommendation, we decided to give this one a view and loved it. The film structure seemed a bit disjointed but it didn't detract from the overall entertainment. The resolution to the Santa story came out of nowhere and caught me off guard.

I had to start all over with A Christmas Horror Story.  I tried watching it the other night after a shot of Jager and 3 or 4 beers and I couldn't follow it. 

So today I started it while I was on the elliptical.  No wonder I couldn't follow it before.  It's bouncing around between 4 different stories happening simultaneously.  I've enjoyed the first 30 minutes but this is definitely one to see stone cold sober because most of the time there's no transition when the story being followed changes.