Cringe-worthy lyrics

Thrash or die -- Moshpit Messiah

He's back from the dead to show who's your boss
He's had it up to here with the upside-down cross
Be prepared to be pummeled by the holy fist
Jesus is back and this time he's pissed

static wrote:

MetalGuy71 wrote:

Gimme fuel
Gimme fire
Gimme that which I desire

 

In the spirit of this one I'd also like to submit "Narg, narg nargin on heaven's dowooawww"  

Quote :

I picked up a compilation CD from the 2000 "Powermad" festival over the weekend (I assume that all the bands on it played at said fest), and one track, a Manowar style troo-metal-rules-over-all anthem called "We Are Metal" by Premonition, contains some absolute howlers like:

"We are metal! We are the elite! And all the other trends will fall upon our feet!"
...ummm...what? That doesn't even make sense. "Fall beneath our feet," maybe, but "fall upon?"

"You won't see us wearing lipstick, and you'll never hear us rap! We are tr00 metal warriors and all the rest is CRAP!"

...seriously, I'm dyin' over here.  

I have that Premonition disc (entitled appropriately enough We Are Metal).  It is so gloriously over the top - I love it.  The song titles and band member's names alone made it a must buy for two bucks.  Unfortunately the cover art doesn't live up to the musical goodness laying within.
" />" />

Got a new addition to the cringe-worthiness: picked up Leash Law's "Dogface" last week and there's a track called "Banion" (?) which contains this beaut:

"I want to pour your heart into a glass...So we can drink of our love"

Ummmm........Wow. Is that a declaration of romance, or part of a serial killer's note to his intended victim? You make the call!!

"Headless Cross" - lyrics by Tony Martin

Look through the people, and on through the mist
To the hill of the headless cross
Where all witches meet, on a night such as this,
And the power of darkness is host
They come face to face, eye to eye, soul to soul,
With an Angel that fell from the sky
Borne on the air, are the screams and the wails
Of the masses appointed to die

Listen for the feet as they pound the land to a tune of thunder
Watch as the legions ride again to a fate of death or torture,
At the headless cross, at the headless cross

From the first evil night, when a black flash of light
Cut the crucifix half to the ground
There's been no escape from the power of Satan,
On a nation so brave and so proud

Listen for the feet as they pound the land to a tune of thunder
Watch as the legions ride again to a fate of death or torture,
At the headless cross, at the headless cross

How do you feel, when the locks refuse the key
And the master is calling your name,
Does the luck of the charm, really keep you from harm
Does the talisman protect you from pain

Listen for the feet as they pound the land to a tune of thunder
Watch as the legions ride again to a fate of death or torture,
At the headless cross, at the headless cross

From the first evil night, when a black flash of light
Cut the crucifix half to the ground
There's no escaping from the power of Satan
For a people so brave and so proud

Listen for the feet as they pound the land to a tune of thunder
Watch as the legions ride again to a fate of death or torture,
At the headless cross, at the headless cross
At the headless cross, at the headless cross

Where will you run to, at the headless cross
Look, to the headless cross

Anvil's Plugged In Permanent is a masterpiece of cringe-worthy lyrics:

Have you heard that Pakis stink
Jews are cheap, bad drivers are Chink
Have you heard that Spics will steal
Japs are sneaks, a Gypsy's deal
Racial hostility

I get disgusted by all of this biggotted crap
I get revolted time after time
Racial hostility, a henious crime

- Racial Hostility


Every waking moment of every bloody day
I roll a big fat joint to get me on my way
Some people think it's evil, they just can't conceive
It's all a matter of taste and what you believe

- Smokin' Green



Hand to the gland and I don't care
There ain't no secret I won't bare
All I wanna do is beat my meat
Shakin' steak, what a treat
Stroke it, stroke it really hard
I wanna watch it blow a yard
Palm sister date what you got
Wank your willie, hit the spot

- Five-Knuckle Shuffle

^^ I've seen Anvil do "Five Knuckle Shuffle" live. It brought the house down!!

One that always made me laugh was Van Halen's Why Can’t This Be Love? with the line:

“Only time will tell if we stand the test of time.”


Then again 'ole Sammy Hagar wrote some dumb lyrics, (I think all the band members were credited with writing this one but surely Sammy takes the most blame    )

Svengo wrote:

Then again 'ole Sammy Hagar wrote some dumb lyrics, (I think all the band members were credited with writing this one but surely Sammy takes the most blame    )

Ample evidence of that here:

Red by Sammy Hagar

I read that it's all black and white
Ooh, the spectrum made a shade I like
Ooh, those crimson rays of ruby bright
Ah! The technicolor light

Red! Red! I want red
There's no substitute for red
Red! Paint it red
Green ain't mean compared to red

You don't know what it does to me
Yeah, that crimson sin intensity
I'm haunted by the mystery
Yeah, yeah, the mystery
Of red, red, red

Red! Red knocks 'em dead
Some like it hot-tah
I like it red

Red's my lover, got me covered
Red's my number and he's a commer
Red's my drummer, I hear his thunder
Move over brother, red is a mother
He's a mother

Red! Red knocks 'em dead
Red, red, red, red
Red! Red! I want red
Move over brother
Move over brother

Go bop bop, go bop bop
Go bop bop, go bop! Ahhh
Go bop bop, go bop bop
Go bop bop, go bop! Uhh! Ahhh
Uhh! Ahhh! Uhh! Ahhh
Uhh! Uhhh

Whoa! Red! Red! I want red
That's what I said! That's what I said
Gimme red, red, 'cause I want red
Some like it hot, I like it red

Red! red! I want red
Gimme red! Gimme, gimme, gimme
Gimme red, red! I want red
Some like it hot, red hot red

Red! Red! I want red
Move over brother, move over brother
Red! Red! Red! I want red
Red, gimme red, gimme red, gimme red
Gimme red, red, red

Not metal, but a personal favorite all the same

Roses are red, violets are blue, get on the floor! - Mark Morrison - Horny.

As a Megadeth fanboy I find that Youthanasia has a few atrocities like:

I Thought I Knew It All:

"I Thought I Knew It All"


Somewhere there's a reason
Why things go like they do
Somewhere there's a reason
Why somethings just fall through
We don't always see them
For what they really are
But I know there's a reason,
Just can't see it from this far

Maybe I don't like it, but I have no choice
I know that somewhere, someone hears my voice

I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?
I thought I knew

Somewhere there's a reason
Why things don't go my way
Somewhere there's a reason
That I cannot explain
Just like the change of season,
Just may not be my turn
But I know there's a reason,
The lesson's mine to learn

Here's an excerpt from "Metal Forever (M.E.T.A.L.)" by Cannon:

Quote :

"Hey listen what that ugly noise
Sounds like a dumb sh*tting on his toys"

Fat Freddy wrote:

Deliverance had their moments of cheeziness at times, but at least they never sunk to the level of "Better than pot, JEEEEEESUS ROOOOOOOOCKS!"

Smoke on His love brother!

"Peter and the Greenfly were laughing like drains, inebreocean!"

"The grey and plastic retards are floating in circles!"

What the....?!

candlemass wrote:

"Peter and the Greenfly were laughing like drains, inebreocean!"

"The grey and plastic retards are floating in circles!"

What the....?!

I love the lyrics on that album, completely gonzo and out there.

I was listening to Cronos' album Rock N' Roll Disease. There was some cringe worthy stuff on that thing.... and it was awesome. Sometimes bad lyrics are like a great art form.

In the case of bands like Anvil or Kiss I would actually be disappointed if there wasn't some lyric content that didn't make me cringe. Even better when it's presented like it's some profound statement. I like to think a lot of time went into coming up with something so bad.

S.D. wrote:

Temple of Blood wrote:

S.D. wrote:

Basically any song from Savatage's Power Of The Night album.  

"Raise the fist of the metal child!"  

That song rules.

The song is great...the lyrics are dumb as dirt.

It's only rock and roll. It doesn't have to be rocket science. Raise the fist of the metal child!  

Haha!

I wrote Heart of Metal knowing full well how cheesy the lyrics were, but I wanted to do it because it was fun.
"Hit the lights, bring up the action, slamming hard, a neck snap reaction. Never gonna stop, never give in. Metal from the heart, flows from within. Turn it up push past eleven, feel the power rush flow from the heavens, no we can't give up, no not give in, metal from the heart flows from within! Neck snappin', fist pumpin' head banging, heart of metal!"

Leave no cliche unused.   

Savatage: "She's In Love."

Great band, great album, but these lyrics make Jon Bon Jovi look like Dylan Thomas.

I think cringe worthy lyrics that I would be embarrassed to admit to owning don't come much worse than this one that I'm sure you will all know

Mortuaries, dead of night
My body starts to rise
In my mind the horror lives
To feel death deep inside


I'll leave it there cause, well   

This song came up in my shuffle the other day and it made me wonder how this ode to a 13 year old seemed to slip through the cracks.

'Francine' by ZZ Top...

Got a girl, her name's Francine
Finest thing you ever seen
And I love her, she's all that I want
And I need her, she's all that I need

Well, Francine, oh Francis, why
Do you love me and make me cry?
How I love her, she's all that I want
How I need her, she's all that I need

If I ever caught her with Stevie P
I'd throw her back in the Penitentiary, now
And if I caught her with my mother's son
I'll call her daddy and get my gun

My Francine just turned thirteen
She's my angelic teenage queen
And I love her, she's all that I want
And I need her, she's all that I need

And I love her, she's all that I want
And I need her, she's all that I need
And I love her, she's all that I want
And I need her, she's all that I need

This thread is freaking long, so I don't know if anyone already mention this song.

Little Dirty Blonde by Winger:

She was a classic case, a baby face all
Duded up, but kinda out of place
Out to show the world she was so bad (so bad)

I thought I had it sussed, it was only lust
She's not the type, that I could trust
So how did I end up in her trash?

Tell me is this love?
No, it's anything but love
But I just can't shake the fever
For the little dirty blonde
The thrill is over and my luck is gone

For good I misunderstood
You don't look for love in the neighborhood
Well I guess I stayed just a little too long (too bad)

She won't talk to me
She won't talk to me
And my addiction won't let me be
It just leaves me down, down on my knees

Beggin' for the love
It's anything but love
But I just can't shake the fever
For the little dirty blonde
The girl's as cold as the night is long
Little dirty blonde
The thrill is over and my luck is gone

MetallicSeminarian wrote:

these lyrics make Jon Bon Jovi look like Dylan Thomas.

If I EVER start a band, can I PLEASE use this quote on the back of the t-shirts?

Runicen wrote:

MetallicSeminarian wrote:

these lyrics make Jon Bon Jovi look like Dylan Thomas.

If I EVER start a band, can I PLEASE use this quote on the back of the t-shirts?  

You have my permission