Cringe-worthy lyrics

Yeah, I'm bored and starting a random thread.

We've done stuff like this before but it's always good for a laugh. Even our most favorite bands will occasionally let some lyrics slip that are so silly/stupid/out of place that they just make you cringe, say "WTF?" or "that ain't right." Some of my favorite examples:

"Better than pot, JESUS ROCKS!" -- Barren Cross, "Believe"
...I love this band but man, every time I hear this bit I wince as if I've been shot.

"I like the way you talk when you undress me, I like to take it off." - Ratt, "Enough Is Enough"
...Too much information, Mr. Pearcy.

I'm sure some of you can do better than these. Have at.

"Put your hand in my pocket...grab onto my rocket..." - KISS "Take Me"

"I need your lovin'...I'm hot like an oven, it's so true..."- KISS, "Mainline"

This thread could go on for days with just KISS lyrics.

One that always grates on my ears is by the Gin Blossoms spinoff band Gas Giants:

"I thought I heard you calling from the corner of my eye." - "Quitter", Gas Giants.

"So there was only one thing I could do, was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long." - "Jesus Built My Hotrod", Ministry

"Hand on my gland and I don't care; there's no secret I won't bare." - Anvil, "Five Knuckle Shuffle"

...actually, that whole song kinda makes me cringe.

"Some nights I shake, some nights I sweat, some nights I'm just wet with confusion." - Loudness, "Clockwork Toy"

Fat Freddy wrote:

This thread could go on for days with just KISS lyrics.

Yes we can....

"Cause when I go through her, it's just like a hot knife through butter" KISS, Fits Like A Glove

"When that b!+ch bends over, I forget my name..." - KISS "Domino"

This is fun

Helloween has had some doozies over the years...

"You need a sh*t so you head off to the loo; you're coming to the bog, now what you gonna do?" - "Reptile"

"My winds surpass perfume; I'm charismatic in full bloom" - "Perfect Gentleman"

"Something's growing in my pants as she looks into my eyes" - "Just A Little Sign"

Shawn Of Fire wrote:

"When that b!+ch bends over, I forget my name..." - KISS "Domino"

This is fun

"...suppose a rock's out of the question..." - Def Leppard "Let's Get Rocked"

"Gonna put my log in your fireplace..." - KISS "Burn B!+ch Burn"

"Now her motions turn me on, and I'm gonna sing my song. Free time is one of the things that I love. Free time is one of the things I enjoy." - Gamma Ray, "Free Time"

And more:

"I wanna put my log in your fireplace" KISS, Burn Bitch Burn

"When you work all day, you gotta uh, all night" KISS, Uh All Night

"I'm a Hooligan, won't go to school again, no no no" KISS, Hooligan

"Take in the cellar, let me be your fella, I'm gonna teach you something new" KISS, Tomorrow And Tonight

'I'm stupid and I'm lazy, man if they only knew", KISS, Flaming Youth

"Love's like a muscle and you make me wanna flex..." - KISS "Let's Put The X In Sex"

Shawn Of Fire wrote:

"Gonna put my log in your fireplace..." - KISS "Burn B!+ch Burn"

Beat me to it! LOL!!!!!

"What the f*ck? Suck my c*ck!
I'm only a seven out of twelve
When I wank at the bank
I'm ten out of ten my friend"-Edguy "Two out of seven"

One of the best songs on that album almost ruined by that juvenile crap. I'm just glad Tobias doesn't pull that crap with Avantasia.

"They spotted an unknown sub down in the bay...but I don't care I think I'll go swimming anyway...yeah!" - KISS "Torpedo Girl"

"She Makes Love On A Brass Bed cause her parents are still away", KISS, She;s So European

"The log was in my pocket,when Lucy met the rocket,and never knew the reason why"

Deep Purple-Knockin' At Your Back Door

How about this winner from Krokus:


You know crazy nelly
She's crossed eyed and dumb
She's dirty and she's smelly
But she's got a lovely bum
Her hair is bloody grotty
Her breath stinks like the pest
Her skin is dry and spotty
But her arse is just the best -Smelly Nelly

I Don't Want To Work

I Just Want To Bang On The Drum All Day
I Don't Want To Play

I Just Want To Bang On The Drum All Day

Ok, Todd, you do that.

As far as sexual metaphors, Brian Johnson was not as clever as Bon Scott:


Let me put my love into you, babe
Let me cut your cake with my knife

Just open wide I'll take a bite outta you'Cause I'm ready, Are you readyLove's like a bug that you catch in a snatch -Ratt Scratch the Itch