What the.... The HM Review of Ultimatum Lex Metalis 1-5

Shawn Of Fire wrote:

He misused the word "mediocre"....DVP should have caught that.

No no no. His writers are able to use words however they want.

Shawn Of Fire wrote:

He misused the word "mediocre"....DVP should have caught that.

That's the first thing that caught me. I actually emailed this to Doug:

Quote :

Not really much of a review. More like a short insult and that’s about it? What exactly is a “mediocre sized city”? Does this mean that Albuquerque is a city of “low quality, value, ability, or performance “ and “rather poor or inferior quality”? LOL!

I'm not sure I understand the "royalty check" dig.

So ... metal bands on Retroactive receive royalty checks?

Temple of Blood wrote:

I'm not sure I understand the "royalty check" dig.

So ... metal bands on Retroactive receive royalty checks?

Ahhh, the whole review was obviously just "a dig". It's actually sort of comical. It's just such a ridiculous review. It's even more comical when you take into account that it's HM, who have a history of allowing reviewers that don't know our style of music to review our CDs.

Who cares what HM means? It's not like they are an authority on music at all anymore!

kmorg wrote:

Who cares what HM means? It's not like they are an authority on music at all anymore!

This is true.

However, I'm really surprised that Doug Van Pelt let such an insulting thing fly. Tells me a lot about Doug. Weird.

I'm actually shocked and apalled by this review. I gave up on this mag (and it's little joke of a sister, Heaven's Metal) years ago anyway. What losers.

Does Heaven's Metal even come out these days? I payed for subscription August 1st, but have yet to receive a new mag...

kmorg wrote:

Does Heaven's Metal even come out these days? I payed for subscription August 1st, but have yet to receive a new mag...

As far as I know it does. I had a subscription a few years ago. But it was lame. Nothing like it used to be back in the 80s/early 90s. I would get so pissed every time I read it that I cancelled it.

Quote :

Ultimatum
Lex Metalis
(Retroactive)
In every mediocre sized city, in every state (or providence)...

Hmm, if the reviewer was referring to (for lack of a better term) the Canadian equivalent of a state, the word he wants is 'province' not 'providence'. Either that or he forgot to capitalize.

HellRaiser wrote:

Quote :

Ultimatum
Lex Metalis
(Retroactive)
In every mediocre sized city, in every state (or providence)...

Hmm, if the reviewer was referring to (for lack of a better term) the Canadian equivalent of a state, the word he wants is 'province' not 'providence'. Either that or he forgot to capitalize.

He also forgot to listen to the CD.

Metallic Blaze wrote:

kmorg wrote:

Who cares what HM means? It's not like they are an authority on music at all anymore!

This is true.

However, I'm really surprised that Doug Van Pelt let such an insulting thing fly. Tells me a lot about Doug. Weird.

I'm actually shocked and apalled by this review. I gave up on this mag (and it's little joke of a sister, Heaven's Metal) years ago anyway. What losers.

I agree, HM blows, but what was so bad about the Heavens metal division of that magazine? I'm talking about the recent era too, I never subscribed but every once in a while when I would order something I would get a couple free issues with my order and flipping thru em' they seemed alright to me.

Stender wrote:

Metallic Blaze wrote:

kmorg wrote:

Who cares what HM means? It's not like they are an authority on music at all anymore!

This is true.

However, I'm really surprised that Doug Van Pelt let such an insulting thing fly. Tells me a lot about Doug. Weird.

I'm actually shocked and apalled by this review. I gave up on this mag (and it's little joke of a sister, Heaven's Metal) years ago anyway. What losers.

I agree, HM blows, but what was so bad about the Heavens metal division of that magazine? I'm talking about the recent era too, I never subscribed but every once in a while when I would order something I would get a couple free issues with my order and flipping thru em' they seemed alright to me.

Back in the day, it was good and reported on Christian Metal. Last time I looked at it, it was a bunch of garbage bands......

O welll, all the metal mags and zine are not what they used to be. Used to be in High School the metal heads couldn't wait to get the latest Circus, Hit Parader and Kerrang. Then Metal Edge had some good coverage. Now, it;s all crap.....

thejokeriv wrote:

O welll, all the metal mags and zine are not what they used to be. Used to be in High School the metal heads couldn't wait to get the latest Circus, Hit Parader and Kerrang. Then Metal Edge had some good coverage. Now, it;s all crap.....

Circus and Metal Edge don't even exist anymore. Now that you mention it, I haven't seen a Hit Parader in years either so they might be history too.

Fat Freddy wrote:

thejokeriv wrote:

O welll, all the metal mags and zine are not what they used to be. Used to be in High School the metal heads couldn't wait to get the latest Circus, Hit Parader and Kerrang. Then Metal Edge had some good coverage. Now, it;s all crap.....

Circus and Metal Edge don't even exist anymore. Now that you mention it, I haven't seen a Hit Parader in years either so they might be history too.

Yep - but they too went down hill will the lastest "fad" like HM

ultmetal wrote:

It's all about advertising and money. They review our stuff because Retroactive pays for advertising in their magazine.

Maybe Bill should put that money somewhere will it would do some good.Like, Metal Maniacs. The Christian seen knows who you are. HM is not about Metal...That's what I think...

Glenn Rogers wrote:

ultmetal wrote:

It's all about advertising and money. They review our stuff because Retroactive pays for advertising in their magazine.

Maybe Bill should put that money somewhere will it would do some good.Like, Metal Maniacs. The Christian seen knows who you are. HM is not about Metal...That's what I think...

He did just take an ad out in Decibel magazine.

Awesome this is what I was looking for! FF and Ult are both right. Doug admitted to me after I visted with him about Dan not knowing that much about Black Metal his review of "Dark Lay Still" was worst the Ultimatum one if you can believe that! I never meant that because a band is Christian they should be sucked up on just because. If the music is not any good to me I am going to tell people not to waste their money period! I was referring to the fact the Dan should have known more about Ultimatum and had more respect for them than he showed, as was pointed out he did not really talk about or review the album. Again I love Steve Rowe and Mortification but the new album sucked and I only gave it a 3 of 7 and that was mostly out of respect for Steve. People looking for Scrolls Part two should look else where. LOL

ultmetal wrote:

Here is the full review:
Ultimatum
Lex Metalis
(Retroactive)
In every mediocre sized city, in every state (or providence), there is a collection of washed out musicians who climb on a stage in a dimly lit, never cleaned dive bar and attempt to cover songs by the metal bands they’ve worshipped since before they could drive. In this case, the band is Ultimatum, the place is Albuquerque, New Mexico, and somehow they managed to make a recording of their sludgy thrash cover songs into an album entitled Lex Metalis. And it’s a pity that their ability to play their instruments decently is overshadowed by their desecrated beyond recognition versions of songs by Metallica, Megadeth, and Motorhead. Let’s just say don’t expect a lot of royalty checks to be cut. [Retroactive] Dan Frazier

Rating: 1

Ouch! They call that a "review?" I can see why people are ticked off now.

I haven't read Heaven's Metal or HM in a loooooong time but I am surprised that Doug Van Pelt let this thing fly in his publication. If I were this guy's editor, I would've thrown it back at him and told him "needs a LOTTA work."

This reminds me of something I saw in a Dio interview years ago. He was talking about when he first went solo, the British metal press all loved Dio, he was getting great reviews across the board, then later in the 80s it seemed like "all the good writers left and the guys who had been making the tea suddenly became the new writers."

...except in this case, it seems more like the guys who empty Doug Van Pelt's trash have become his new writers.

Metal Maniacs is no longer in print.

Shawn Of Fire wrote:

Metal Maniacs is no longer in print.

Yea, which sucks. I have a huge box of Maniacs back issues that I still flip thru on a regular basis.

It does live on in cyberspace, however.

http://www.metalmaniacs.com

Fat Freddy wrote:

...except in this case, it seems more like the guys who empty Doug Van Pelt's trash have become his new writers.

the life of an unpaid cd reviewer is not to be taken on lightly. All the good Christian metal reviewers went away when that scene did too...

exact33 wrote:

the life of an unpaid cd reviewer is not to be taken on lightly. All the good Christian metal reviewers went away when that scene did too...

I'm an "unpaid CD reviewer" (unless you consider the free CDs "payment") so I know all 'bout it. You ever read through my review thread here? I wade thru a LOT of crap before I finally find a good one. Haha.

But even as an "unpaid" reviewer, I would never be as lazy as this guy was with the Ultimatum review.

Hey Ult - tell Retroactive to send a LEX to me and I'll be fair and balanced!!!

exact33 wrote:

Fat Freddy wrote:

...except in this case, it seems more like the guys who empty Doug Van Pelt's trash have become his new writers.

the life of an unpaid cd reviewer is not to be taken on lightly. All the good Christian metal reviewers went away when that scene did too...

I Think Untombed has good Cd Reviewers! Matt from the Belgian Black Metal Band Blooddrift reviews albums as does Frost from Frost Like Ashes along with myself and JD from Wreathe of Thorns. Not only to we know the music, we play it or listen it which is more than most reviewers these days. Especially Reviewers of Extreme Christian Music. Yes, it still exist but is very underground these days! Kind of like back when White Throne, Scream of Abel, Cephas and The Narrow Path Ruled the Christian Metal Zinedom.

Shawn Of Fire wrote:

Metal Maniacs is no longer in print.

They have a web site. They're online...

Well it just re-inforces why I let my subscription run out with HM, everythime I read it I felt like this scene they are covering is not me and, I felt like the people writing for the mag were out of place with some of the cds they were reviewing and bands they were coving. Or I'd just get mad about the magazine I got in some email arguement with Doug Van Pelt and one of the writers , it was nothing major but I pointed out a dislike that is why they have letters to the editor and put up a email address. They did not like my dislikes I guess.
Good move on the Decible add, that is an audience that will see Ultimatum as a new band, new faces and music.