New Lita Ford Album-Wicked Wonderland

Fat Freddy wrote:

HERE'S a woman of the 80s who is aging VERY well... Terri Nunn of Berlin... almost the same age as Lita but holding together far better I'd say.

I saw Berlin live a few years ago - I got close enough to take a good look. That pic is TOTALLY airburshed. Now, Terri has held up better, but that pic was a work of photoshop!

thejokeriv wrote:

I saw Berlin live a few years ago - I got close enough to take a good look. That pic is TOTALLY airburshed. Now, Terri has held up better, but that pic was a work of photoshop!

Well geez. Way to poop in everyone's sunshine there, Joker.

Fat Freddy wrote:

thejokeriv wrote:

I saw Berlin live a few years ago - I got close enough to take a good look. That pic is TOTALLY airburshed. Now, Terri has held up better, but that pic was a work of photoshop!

Well geez. Way to poop in everyone's sunshine there, Joker.

If I was single, I'd still do her

Anyone checked out the WAR on Amazon over this CD? Pretty funny. Apparently the Lita Ford fan club has been sent to wage war on those who have given the CD a negative review on Amazon, so all the 1, 2 & 3 star reviews are being slammed with comments and people marking them as "not helpful".

There's still a fan club? What, her husband and his drinking buddies?

Apparently a whole lot more than that. Most of the negative reviews have ratings of 3/90 people say this review was useful.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002F3BPN6/ref=cm_rdp_product

That's actually a decent way to get some publicity out there. We should do that with Ultimatum.

TheNazgul wrote:

That's actually a decent way to get some publicity out there. We should do that with Ultimatum.

Ha! Please do. Into the Pit had quite a few reviews on Amazon. Lex Metalis only has three, 2 positive, 1 negative.

I found this review too be amusing and sadly accurate:

What a heap of garbage this turned out to be. A true waste of plastic.
There is not a memorable song on the entire CD. To make matters even worse,
Lita's husband, Jim Gillette, contributes embarrassingly laughable cookie-monster
vocals throughout the disc in a disastrous attempt to bring Lita into the current
nu-metal genre. A bad, bad idea, and a slap in the face to her fans of old.
Hey, Lita! Thanks for the coaster

I'm listening to the new CD right now. It's not THAT bad. Perhaps my expectations were just low. Sort of has an industrial metal feel.

The lyrics are embarrassingly bad though. Straight up kiddie porno lyrics. A small sampling below.

PIECE
36" 24" 36" that's right. Long blonde hair and a body that's tight, Got my guitar play it loud as hell. When the boys watch me play their private parts start to swell. Everybody want it, yes they do...

CRAVE
Golden dreams, sick sick sick, infatuation blood red lips, whips and chains, nice round hips, I show no mercy, but you love my tits, hypnotized got no clue you wanna love me black and blue.

Even Madonna's lyrics got somewhat more mature. That is beyond dumb.

I hate this album so much. Haha.

ultmetal wrote:

The lyrics are embarrassingly bad though. Straight up kiddie porno lyrics. A small sampling below.

PIECE
36" 24" 36" that's right. Long blonde hair and a body that's tight, Got my guitar play it loud as hell. When the boys watch me play their private parts start to swell. Everybody want it, yes they do...

CRAVE
Golden dreams, sick sick sick, infatuation blood red lips, whips and chains, nice round hips, I show no mercy, but you love my tits, hypnotized got no clue you wanna love me black and blue.

If she'd written these lyrics 20 years ago, they would've given legions of teenage boys enough jack-off fodder for the rest of their lives. Now that she's in her 50s it's just creepy.

"their private parts start to swell"? That's a serious lyric?

ultmetal wrote:

"their private parts start to swell"? That's a serious lyric?

Quote :

When the boys watch me play their private parts start to swell. Everybody want it

Sounds more like wishful thinking on her part. Judging from the near-universal bad reviews the new CD has gotten, it sounds more like NOBODY want it.

I think Lita Ford should have just done a cover tunes album of Mentors songs, at least their sex lyrics are silly on purpose.

Quote :

Jim Gillette, contributes embarrassingly laughable cookie-monster
vocals throughout the disc

This dude could supposedly shatter glass, now he's doing cookie-monster grumbling?

Pathetic.

Wow... most of the reviews of Lita's CD on Amazon are pretty brutal!! This one was too funny not to share.

Lyrically, this is a sad attempt by two borderline elderly people trying to be sexy and shocking. While the Lita Ford of the 1980's might have gotten away with this if it was done with more talent, the turkey necked, grey haired Lita of 2010 only serves to make these lyrics more revolting. And young or old, the thought of Jim Gillette having sex is enough to turn the stomach of even [former Metal Edge magazine editor] Gerri Miller, and she sustains herself on a diet of grubs and ants picked off the bark of felled trees in the forests of the Pacific Northwest, so that's saying something.

ultmetal wrote:

"their private parts start to swell"? That's a serious lyric?

Are you questioning yourself?

I found this CD still new and sealed in a Goodwill store this morning. I couldn't pass it up for $1.99... but after re-reading this thread I'm almost afraid to listen to it

Well, I got about six songs into Wicked Wonderland during my drive to work this AM aaaaaand... the legends are true, it's an absolute frickin train wreck.

Take the worst of late 90s/early 00s aggro rock (Korn, Manson, Zombie, Evanescence, etc.) ball it up and throw it into a blender, and add Lita trying to sound all slinky and sexy over the top of it.

This is what happens when someone who hasn't really been paying attention tries to "update" themselves for a new generation... that's already moved on to other things. Even the CD graphics were already, hilariously out of date (skulls, tribal patterns, knives, dudes/chicks in leather gear, etc.) by the time this was released in 2009.

I probably won't even listen to the rest of the album.

Lita, I still love ya babe, but you were obviously suffering from Stockholm Syndrome big time when you made this record with your ex-hubby.

It's not even the style that's the problem—nearly every song is AWFUL! The two bonus tracks, "Garden" and "Push," are the only two songs I didn't hate. And those aren't even that good.

Fat Freddy wrote:

Well, I got about six songs into Wicked Wonderland during my drive to work this AM aaaaaand...
the legends are true, it's an absolute frickin train wreck.

Take the worst of late 90s/early 00s aggro rock (Korn, Manson, Zombie, Evanescence, etc.)
ball it up and throw it into a blender,
and add Lita trying to sound all slinky and sexy over the top of it.

Even the CD graphics were already, hilariously out of date (skulls, tribal patterns, knives, dudes/chicks in leather gear, etc.)

I probably won't even listen to the rest of the album.

Lita, I still love ya babe, but you were obviously suffering from Stockholm Syndrome
big time -when you made this record with your ex-hubby.

I just read two hours of Lita's book - and was kinda jacked ( not that way )
thought maybe buying the WONDERLAND CD - decided to look up the thread.
No way now !