Drunk Stories

MetalGuy71 wrote:

I was slugging back Jack Daniels like it was water.

Somehow, that's not surprising.

SpectreFate wrote:

That be the one!!! I'm laughing so hard right now. I can't say that I've ever seen one of those roaming the streets. That would of been a good trivia question. What car was McCormick driving around?

Good find Spec...

detuned wrote:

MetalGuy71 wrote:

I was slugging back Jack Daniels like it was water.

Somehow, that's not surprising.

Yea, I'd say all my good/horrible drunk stories involve my old buddy Jack. It makes me a mean drunk, that's for sure. I haven't touched the stuff in years for that very reason. These days, I stick to vodka/tonics or beer.

Really cool stories guys! Keep 'em coming!


And Freddy, even having in mind that you were very drunk, I am also quite mortified at the thought of the loving Fatty spitting out words like that! For shame....

Mglaffas81 wrote:

Really cool stories guys! Keep 'em coming!


And Freddy, even having in mind that you were very drunk, I am also quite mortified at the thought of the loving Fatty spitting our words like that! For shame....

Join the club. I've never been an angry drunk by any means, before or since, so I have no explanation for my behavior that night.

The only thing I can think of was that though I was happy for my buddy that he was going to start a Big Willie job making mad benjamins, I was probably a little jealous/pissed off as well, (I was working at a K-Mart for sh*t wages at the time) and I ended up taking it out on that poor barmaid. What can I tell ya? It was not exactly the best period in my life.

I like to think I made up for it at another visit to the same place when I stopped some drunk Deadhead lookin' hippie dude from jumping over the bar to grab at one of the dancers. He was sitting next to me half the night talking to himself with a crazy look in his eye, he was making the dancers visibly nervous, then all of a sudden he tried to go for it so I put out an arm and blocked him. Once the aforementioned Tony Soprano leg breakers took him outside (and most likely beat the blithering crap out of him), I drank for free for the rest of that night.

I plead the fifth!!!!!!


.... of Jack!!!!

GIMME A BOTTLE OF ANYTHING...

...AND A GLAZED DONUT!

...TO GO!!

tohostudios wrote:

I went to a church-affiliated college so we had required chapel attendance every morning. My first 2 years, I was in pre-med and hung out with other pre-med guys. We studied hard and played harder. We were always pulling pranks on campus.

One night, we got a brainstorm. My roommate was going to be in the sound room for chapel services the next day. In the sound room was a ceiling hatch that led to the catwalks in the roof of the chapel. Being pre-med students, we had access to lab mice.

You can see where this is going...

We took about a dozen mice from the lab, tore up a bed sheet and made little "parachutes" which we tied around the middle of each mouse. The next morning, we snuck up into the sound room with my roommate and went up on the catwalk with the mice. We waited until after the first hymn until everyone was seated. Then we started dropping the mice. Unfortunately, some of the chutes didn't deploy correctly so some of the mice more or less plummetted down on the people.

You can only imagine the chaos.

And we never got caught.

god, that made my day!!

I think this sums it up....

SAXON1500 wrote:

I think this sums it up....

HOLY CRAP! - Is that you!?

No, that's my bud, Steve the Beav. That was taken on the corner of one of the busiest streets in uptown Minneapolis. I can't really show many of the photos of me.

The scariest part of the Steve the Beav pic is that he is holding keys in his hand.

HAHA. Actually, me n Chris tried stealing a newspaper machine, so our girls took off. We had to put the machine in the trunk of a taxi to get home. Nothing like watching 2 guys dragging this big ol' metal box, dodging traffic to get across the street to the cab stand!

I hope the beav didn't get too many leaves up his bum.

I don't drink. Never have, never will.

*walks away from thread*

Metal Misfit wrote:

I don't drink. Never have, never will.

*walks away from thread*

Thank you, Gene Simmons.

That picture of Steve The Beav makes me remember the reason Robin Williams said he quit drinking:

"I got tired of waking up naked in front of my car with my keys in my ass."

Girl invites me to her bedroom, however I am thrashed and quickly pass out once I lay down. Few minutes later I start vomitting all over her BRAND NEW mattress.

Necrosultan wrote:

Girl invites me to her bedroom, however I am thrashed and quickly pass out once I lay down. Few minutes later I start vomitting all over her BRAND NEW mattress.

I assume that romance went nowhere?

detuned wrote:

That picture of Steve The Beav makes me remember the reason Robin Williams said he quit drinking:

"I got tired of waking up naked in front of my car with my keys in my ass."

I got invited to a party in a real fancy hotel one time when I was 17. Well, I was prospecting on a few chicks that night and this one dude who was a CEO or something and like 35 years old kept c*ck-blocking me so I remember him needing to puke so I (still pissed at him) took him to the restroom where they had a toilet and a buday, I led him to the buday instead of the toilet on purpose and he hurled a horse load of booze,shrimp and all other kinds of seafood. I saw him reach for the handle to flush it so I took a few steps back and saw him spray all that junk back up into his face.

tohostudios wrote:

I assume that romance went nowhere?

Au contraire! The vile and wretched stench of vomit appeased to the senses of this fair maiden and thus she was incredibly drawn to my putrid allure!

Actually you are correct, sir. I never set foot in that room again!

akeldama wrote:

I got invited to a party in a real fancy hotel one time when I was 17. Well, I was prospecting on a few chicks that night and this one dude who was a CEO or something and like 35 years old kept c*ck-blocking me so I remember him needing to puke so I (still pissed at him) took him to the restroom where they had a toilet and a buday, I led him to the buday instead of the toilet on purpose and he hurled a horse load of booze,shrimp and all other kinds of seafood. I saw him reach for the handle to flush it so I took a few steps back and saw him spray all that junk back up into his face.

BUMP

I drink a lot by myself on Friday and/or Saturday nights - It's fun, you spoil yourself by buying some import beers and fine cider, you mix yourself some rum and diet coke and listen to American Dog while posting on HOM - I've just started another one of my lone "fun" Fridays. Lots of funny stuff happens, although I'm sure you have to be there. I'll post if there happens something worth telling.

One time, I drank a fifth of vodka mixed with instant iced tea mix until I passed out...The End.

And two weeks later, I drank a fifth of Southern Comfort straight until I passed out...The End.