TODAY I WATCHED ... (TV, Movies, Sports, etc.) 2024

"The Twisters" (2024)

A bickering brother-and-sister pair of meteorologists must figure out how to stop a massive cluster of tornadoes from merging into a gigantic Mega-Nado with the potential to wipe out the entire Midwest and kill millions of people.
In case the title didn't give it away, this is The Asylum's cheese-and-crackers knock-off of this year's big summer blockbuster, "Twisters" (notice the "The" in the title, kids -- totally different movie!). As usual, it's full of gibberish pseudo-scientific dialogue, Z-list stunt casting ('80s pop tart Tiffany slums it for a quick paycheck as a buttoned-down military scientist) and cheap CGI effects (which are sweetened with actual stock footage of real storms and their resulting damage). This one's about average for the Asylum; your mileage may vary depending on your tolerance for their brand of schlock. They've done better, but they've also done far worse.

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"Knock Off" (1998)

This chaotic action comedy takes place in Hong Kong on the eve of its handover from British rule to the Chinese. Jean Claude van Damme and Rob "SNL" Schneider (talk about a dream team!) are a pair of dim bulb fashion importers who uncover a Russian terrorist plot to plant tiny bombs in counterfeit goods destined to be shipped to the USA.
If that sounds random, it is. The movie hits the ground running without taking the time to explain who any the characters are or why they're doing what they're doing. After a while I gave up trying to follow the utterly gibberish plot and just watched people punch each other while stuff crashed and exploded. Complete nonsense, a definite low point for JCVD.

"Back In Time" (2015)

A cool documentary about the enduring legacy of "Back to the Future" trilogy, which has amassed a large, loyal fan base that continues to grow, hold conventions, build their own DeLorean time machines, and more. Lots of cool behind the scenes footage and interviews with fans as well as cast members like Michael J. Fox, Lea Thompson, Christopher Lloyd, and director Robert Zemeckis. Watching this made me want to revisit the BTTF movies, it's been a while since I've seen them.

It Came From Aquarius. A documentary about the famous SF record store.

"Warrior of the Lost World" (1983)

In the post-apocalyptic future, a lone biker (Robert "The Exterminator" Ginty, rockin' a Chuck Norris beard) joins a resistance movement planning to overthrow the fascist new government, "The Omega" by eliminating its leader (Donald Pleasance).
A terribly slow moving Italian "Mad Max" wanna be with a couple of familiar faces to keep it somewhat interesting. Skip it unless you need to see every spaghetti knock-off flick ever made.

Took my old man last night to see:

Alien Romulus

The first 3rd - half of the movie is pretty solid.  A near return to form of sorts after the clunkers that were Prometheus and Alien Covenant. The backend of the movie...  ooof.  It utterly falls off a cliff.
The acting is serviceable for the most part, but mostly unexceptional (props to the actor that plays Andy, though, as he does a great job).  The film is too reliant on memberberries (member the pulse rifle? member Ash? member the most famous line from Aliens?). The characters are mostly cardboard cut-outs, and I found little reason to care what happened to them.

It's better than Alien Resurrection, Prometheus, and Alien Covenant.  Is it better than Alien 3?  Debatable...  While Alien 3 has its share of issues, it still had Sigourney Weaver.  There is no actor in Romulus that comes anywhere close to her talent level.

Only Murders In The Building

"Atomic Blonde" (2017)

In the waning days of the Cold War, a lady super spy (Charlize Theron) is sent into East Berlin to track down a defector with important information before the Russians find him first. Charlize kicks a TON of bad-guy ass in this very cool, action packed, stylish '80s period piece that features amazing stunt work and a great soundtrack of '80s Euro-pop including New Order, David Bowie, Peter Schilling, and Nena.

It's a little early for the annual Halloween Horror Hootenanny, but when this turned up on Tubi I couldn't resist:

"Halloween" (2018)

After 40 years, a PTSD-stricken Laurie Strode finally gets her chance at revenge on Michael Myers when he escapes from the asylum and begins a new Halloween night killing spree in Haddonfield.
Blumhouse's 2018 "reboot" erases everything from the series continuity except for the 1978 O.G., and it does a pretty nice job of picking up where Carpenter's film left off, with plenty of creepy October atmosphere and some impressive bits of ultra-violence. Unfortunately, the two follow ups that complete this trilogy, Halloween Kills and Halloween Ends, were pretty much both total poop. Oh well. At this time of year, you're almost required by law to watch at least one Halloween flick; Lord knows you can certainly do a lot worse than this one.

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