TODAY I WATCHED ... (TV, Movies, Sports, etc.) 2024

The Killer

Michael Fassbender plays an unnamed, perfectionist hitman here. His meticulous world gets an injection of chaos when he misses his assassination target. His icy demeanor starts to get a little hot under the collar when the clean-up crew sent to correct this error brutalizes his lover. A tale of angry vengeance, juxtaposed against his life of icy, remorseless killing and almost OCD-level planning, begins to play out.

Quite a solid movie. The acting is solid from all involved (Fassbender, Tilda Swinton, Charles Parnell and a few lesser known names), and the pacing keeps things moving quite well. No new ground is broken here, but it's a solid watch for its 2hr run time.

I haven't seen that one, but the movie The Killer starring Chow Yun-Fat is one of my favorite movies ever.

Porky's (1981)



Raucous teen sex comedy set in Florida in the 50s, this movie deals with a bunch of high schoolers obsessed with getting laid. Their adventures take them to a neighboring county 's strip club where they're screwed out of their money and humiliated. From there on out, they seek revenge on the club owner and his sheriff brother. I loved this movie as a teen (and probably the last time I had watched it) and it still holds up, although maybe not quite as great as I once thought.

AEW Dynamite

"Mother of Tears" (2007)

An archaeology student (Asia Argento) opens an ancient urn that unleashes a wave of supernatural chaos and violence across Rome. She soon learns that all this madness is merely the prelude to the rebirth of the so-called "Mother of Tears," a legendary witch whose goal is to make Rome fall all over again. Yikes!
Dario Argento's belated final chapter in his "Three Mothers Trilogy" (following 1977's landmark Suspiria and 1980's Inferno) isn't as artsy as its predecessors, but it's still a decent slab of Spaghetti Splatter goodness, with some legit gore and an atmosphere of creeping dread. The last quarter suffers from some truly dodgy special effects work, but overall this was another enjoyably weird slice of Italian horror nonsense from a master of the craft.
Additional metal nerd note: look closely at the Medieval artworks shown during the opening credits, one of them was used on the cover of Bruce Dickinson's Tyranny of Souls album!

Smackdown

Too tired/drunk to keep up with a movie last night, so I watched a couple of classic concert videos on YouTube instead:

Accept "Symphonic Terror: Wacken 2017"


Judas Priest at the US Festival, 1983

Sssssss (1973)



Rather silly movie about a crazed snake expert (Strother Martin) experimenting on his assistant (Dirk Benedict) to turn him into a king cobra. An odd but passable film.

Chad Daniels Mixed Reviews stand up

Fright Night (1985)



A horror movie buff becomes convinced that his new reclusive neighbor is one of the undead when he witnesses him doing suspicious activity under cover of the night. When he sees that women that go to his house are later founded murdered. He's positive of his assumptions, going so far as to recruiting a washed horror actor turned tv horror host for help. A really good film with a good cast with William Ragsdale as the suspicious teen, Roddy McDowell as the horror host and Chris Sarandon as the vampire, played to perfection in a cross between class and savagery.

Real Men (1987)



Action/comedy buddy film starring John Ritter as an unassuming insurance salesman recruited by a suave CIA agent (Jim Belushi) for a mission to save the world. A strange movie, with a plot that's all over the place, involving aliens, KGB agents, and rogue CIA agents (dressed as clowns for some reason). Weird and not very funny, considering the two leads.

Monday Night Raw
NXT
The X Files

"Horror Hospital" (1973)

A stressed-out hippie musician answers an ad for a "health spa" getaway in the British countryside, and ends up trapped at an old mansion where the insane doctor in charge (Brit-cinema legend Michael Gough) lobotomizes his guests to create a zombie army... or something. Hilarity does not ensue.
This movie started off promising with a double decapitation right after the opening credits, but from there it quickly turned into a slog. Badly acted, muddled plot, horribly dated, avoid, avoid, AVOID.
Apparently this film is also known as "Computer Killers" for some reason.

AEW Rampage
The X Files

The Stay (2021)



Two couples rent a secluded mountain home for a weekend getaway. Upon arriving, they encounter the odd caretaker who lives on the property. They soon become suspicious of the caretakers increasingly bizarre and potentially sinister activities. A pretty decent movie that ends up taking an unexpected turn in the third act.

Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part One



Animated film based on the DC comics series from the 80s. A wave of antimatter is threatening to wipe out all of reality and a mysterious being known as the Monitor gathers superheroes from various parallel universes to devise a way to stop it. A rather ambitious film, being made into 3 parts to be released throughout the year. Nicely made and better than just about every live action superhero movie that Warner Brothers produced.

Smackdown
The X Files

The Funhouse (1981)



A group of teens go out on the town and visit a traveling carnival that's in town. They decide to sneak into the funhouse after hours to spend the night. While inside, they witness something they shouldn't have seen, and once found out, fight for their lives to make in through the night. A pretty good atmospheric film by Tobe Hooper with special make up effects by Rick Baker.

"Burial Ground" (aka "Nights of Terror," 1981)

Three couples arrive at a secluded Italian villa for a weekend of fun and fornication, which is rudely interrupted by a horde of gut munching zombies unleashed from an archeological dig on the property. Yes, that's the entire plot.
This nonsensical Italian gore fest is best known for the casting of 25 year old midget Peter Bark as a creepy 12 year old kid with an unhealthy fixation on his boob-a-licious Mom. This eventually leads to the film's most notorious scene, which I will not spoil, but I will say that it made me comment, " DAMN, I can't believe they went there."
Obviously "Burial Ground" is not a "good" movie by any means, but it's a fun watch if you're in the mood for some mindless splatter.

Unsolved Mysteries

Season One of Black Sails

Based on characters from the book "Treasure Island" and fictionalized versions of actual Buccaneers, I'd call this an adult "Pirates Of The Caribbean without the silly things that go along with that franchise. Lots of drinking, screwing, fighting, and of course, swashbuckling. It is easy to see why the then civilized world called them, "hostis humani generis"... "enemies of all mankind". Kind of ironic considering what the so called civilized world did at the time and continue to this very day.

First Blood (1982)



The Rambo series kicks off with this action packed film. Sylvester Stallone stars as the seminal Vietnam vet and drifter who runs afoul of a small Washington town sheriff (Brian Dennehy), kicking off an escalating war between Rambo and the police dept. , the U.S. Army and the National guard. A huge hit, this movie spawned something like 4 sequels.