TODAY I WATCHED ... (TV, Movies, Sports, etc.) 2024

"Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back" (2001)

Barred from hangin' in front of the Quick Stop, the stoner duo from "Clerks" embark on a cross country road trip to Hollywood to stop a movie from being made out of the "Bluntman & Chronic" comic book characters based on them. Along the way they hitch a ride with a foxy quartet of female jewel thieves, befriend an orangutan, and are pursued by a very determined Federal wildlife marshal (Will Ferrell).
Kevin Smith's road movie is dumb as hell but has a lot of cheap laughs, if you couldn't get enough of the foul mouthed pair in "Clerks" then you'll dig this.

Texas Chainsaw Double Feature last night via Peacock:

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation" (1994)

A quartet of Texas teens (one of whom is played by a young Renee Zellweger) ditch their senior prom and end up stranded on a country road after a traffic accident. Naturally, they encounter Leatherface and his twisted family, including his equally psychotic brother Vilmer (Matthew McConaughey!), who apparently works for the Illuminati ... or something.
Aside from the interesting pre-fame casting of Renee and Matthew (both of whom would probably like to strike this one from their resumes!), the fourth "TCM" movie is a jumbled mess. The prom teens are such idiots that they deserve everything that happens to them, and there's lots of characters yelling at each other, but very little in the way of chainsaw massacring. I'd heard this one was bad, but woof, I had no idea HOW bad. Even the most diehard TCM fans can skip this entry.

After sitting through that mess, I had to watch a good TCM movie to get the bad taste outta my mouth...

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2" (1986)

A lady radio DJ is targeted by a love-struck Leatherface and his cannibal clan when she plays a recording of one of their murders over the air. An obsessed Texas Ranger (a hilariously deadpan Dennis Hopper, who really looks like he'd rather be somewhere else) looking for revenge arrives to battle the entire "Sawyer" family saw-to-saw.
Tobe Hooper's sequel to his 1974 classic is bigger, louder, and WAY goofier than the original, but it's certainly not dull. The gore quotient is increased and the tongue-in-cheek performances makes the whole thing play like a black comedy. Legend has it that the honchos at Cannon Films, who were expecting a straight up horror flick, were disappointed in the final product, but "TCM2" went on to become a cult classic in its own right.

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (1972)



Bob Clark's foray into horror about a troupe of actors heading to an island to dabble in the occult and resurrect the dead. Unfortunately for them it backfires and the dead return aggressively and start their assault on the group. A fun little movie and the first in color film featuring Romero-type zombies. A little side note trivia: one of the actors playing a troupe member was also on Clark's classic A Christmas Story as the department store Santa.

Episodes of Becker, Mama's Family and Supermarket Sweep.

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From

Darryl Dixon

Grotesquerie

"Halloween III: Season of the Witch" (1982)

A doctor (Tom Atkins) uncovers a Druid plot to kill millions of children on Halloween night with booby trapped masks activated by a sinister TV signal.
This was an unsuccessful attempt to pivot the Halloween franchise away from Michael Myers and into an annual series of stand-alone films centered around the holiday. It didn't do much business when it was first released but it's garnered a strong cult following in the years since. I've always liked its utterly bizarre blend of sci-fi and horror, and John Carpenter's way-cool, creepy as hell synthesized score is some of his best musical work. Underrated, and certainly more enjoyable than many of the Halloween sequels that followed with Myers back in place.

"House on Haunted Hill" (1999)

Five people are invited to an all-night party at a supposedly haunted former insane asylum, with a prize of $1 million to anyone who makes it till morning. Mayhem ensues.
This stylish remake of the 1950s Vincent Price oldie has great, creepy-cool set designs, cool monster effects, and a strong cast that includes Geoffrey Rush (whose character is a dead ringer for Price), Famke "X-Men" Janssen, and even ex-"SNL" dude Chris Kattan. One of the better horror remakes of the era.

"Young Frankenstein" (1974)

The grandson of the original Dr. Frankenstein inherits his grandfather's castle and decides to continue his ancestors work. Wacky hijinks ensue.
Mel Brooks' dead-on parody of 1930s black & white monster movies nails the period details and is stacked with an amazing cast incl. Gene Wilder, Peter Boyle, Madeline Kahn, and Teri Garr (whose passing yesterday leaves Mel as the only surviving member of the film's major players). A stone cold classic.

Criminal Minds

Wrapped up my October horror-thon last night with...

"Tales of Halloween" (2015)

A fun anthology flick featuring ten tales of terror which all take place around the same small town on Halloween night. The stories include killer trick-or-treaters, a Jason-style slasher who meets his match, a kidnapping plot that goes really wrong, and carnivorous jack-o-lanterns. Not every story is a home run but this flick's mix of goofball humor and gory nastiness, with lots of in-jokes for long time horror nerds, make this one a fun watch for me year after year.

AEW Rampage

"Deadpool & Wolverine" (2024)

Ryan Reynolds is back for a third go round as Marvel's Merc with a Mouth, and this time he's brining everyone's favorite X-Man with him!
When a super-villain threatens to mess with Marvel's multiple timelines and eliminate Deadpool's universe altogether, The Pool enlists the help of a past-his-prime Wolverine (as well as a few other surprising cameos whom I will not spoil) in order to put things right. As usual, the bullets, F-bombs, bodies, and one liners fly in equal measure. An absolutely crazy, action packed hoot. Loads of ultra-violent fun.

"Used Cars" (1980)

Two feuding brothers (both played by the great Jack Warden) run competing used-car dealerships right across the road from each other. When one of them dies, his employees (led by salesman Kurt Russell) go to absurd lengths to keep the rival brother from taking over "their" business.
This early '80s cable TV staple from director Robert Zemeckis (later of "Back to the Future" and "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" fame) has aged pretty well, with a lot of raunchy gags and a fair bit of car crashin' mayhem in the final reel. Silly fun.

Criminal Minds

Smackdown
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"A Disturbance in the Force" (2023)

In November 1978, CBS aired The Star Wars Holiday Special, an infamously awful collision between late '70s Star Wars mania and old-fashioned TV variety shows. It was never aired again and George Lucas himself has said that he wishes he could destroy every copy of the show in existence.
Naturally, the Holiday Special's relative obscurity and reputation as one of the worst hours in television history has turned it into a cult item amongst Star Wars fans. This deep dive into the troubled production of the Holiday Special features tons of hilarious clips from it as well as commentary from those involved in its making and some famous nerd culture fans like Kevin Smith, Seth Green, and Patton Oswalt. This documentary is more entertaining and fun than the Special itself!

"Nightmare City" (aka "City of the Walking Dead," 1980)

An atomic accident turns city dwellers into a horde of burn-scarred, blood sucking murderous fiends. A TV news reporter (Hugo Stiglitz) and his wife struggle to escape the city limits before it's completely overrun by the monsters.
This Spanish/Italian Dawn of the Dead knock-off is my favorite trashy Euro-horror flick. The acting is wooden, the "zombie" makeup sucks, and the dialogue is hilariously awkward and stilted. Nothing in the movie makes a lick of sense, but it's so fast-moving and over-the-top violent that you won't even notice. Nightmare City is terrible, but in an awesome kind of way.

"The Concorde Affair" (aka "Concorde Affaire '79" and "S.O.S. Concorde," 1979)

A reporter (James Franciscus) is summoned to Puerto Rico after the crash of a supersonic Concorde jet liner during a test flight. He soon learns that the crash was not accidental, and that the heads of a rival aircraft manufacturer are planning to sabotage a second Concorde flight unless he can stop it in time.
A surprisingly competent Italian mash up of the action thriller and air-disaster genres, made to piggy back on the then-current fourth film in the "Airport" series ("The Concorde: Airport '79"), directed by Ruggero Deodato of "Cannibal Holocaust" infamy. Just cheesy enough to be fun.

"Piranha II: The Spawning" (aka "Piranha II: Flying Killers," 1981)

A bloodthirsty school of flying piranhas -- the result of a failed U.S. Army gene splicing experiment -- are on the loose and munching on the guests at a luxury Caribbean resort. Hilarity ensues.
James "Titanic"/"Avatar" Cameron's directorial debut is living proof that everybody's gotta start someplace. How much of the film is actually Cameron's work, however, is up for debate, because James claims that he was fired during principal photography and the finished film was edited together by the producers.
Whether or not J.C. wants to claim responsibility for it, "Piranha II" makes the most of its absurd premise with plenty of gratuitous boobs, splashy gore, and surprisingly decent creature FX. It's dumb as hell but it's also lots of fun!

Criminal Minds

Wonderlust. A 2020 documentary about the folks who decided to live life off the grid in Slab City.

Currently watching the boxing extravaganza on Netflix waiting for the Tyson fight

Episodes of Investigation Alien

"Alien: Romulus" (2024)

Deserters from an oppressive corporate-owned mining planet sneak onto a derelict space craft orbiting above, hoping it will provide them with a ticket home. However, they soon learn that the ship is literally crawling with those pesky facehuggers... and you can probably figure out the rest.
Fede Alvarez's straight up sci-fi horror flick is essentially made up of the best bits of the first two "Alien" movies, without all the pseudo-religious, origin-of-the-species bullshit that bogged down "Prometheus" and "Covenant." It may not be the most original entry in the Alien franchise, but it's certainly the most entertaining one in a while.

From

""Get Smart, Again!" (1989)

Bumbling secret agent Maxwell Smart (Don Adams) is called back to active duty when his old foes in KAOS steal the plans for a machine that can control the weather.
...a cheap looking TV movie revival of the 1960s spy spoof series, starts out promising enough but runs out of gas well before the end. Skip it.