TODAY I WATCHED ... (TV, Movies, Sports, etc.) 2024

Episodes of Taxi and All In The Family.

Modern Family

"Jake Speed" (1986)

When a woman's sister is kidnapped by white slavers, a hero straight out of a pulp paperback novel suddenly appears to assist her on a rescue mission.
This tongue-in-cheek adventure flick wants to be a big, splashy "Romancing the Stone" style action comedy, but it clearly didn't have a big enough budget for many action sequences, so the movie just kinda plods along with lots of talking for the first hour. When John Hurt finally shows up towards the end as the Big Bad, things finally crank up and we get a big shoot'em up finale, but by then most viewers will be so bored that they've lost interest.
I appreciated the movie's shout-outs to "real" paperback action heroes like Doc Savage, Mack Bolan and Remo "The Destroyer" Williams, because I used to read those books when I was in my teens, but otherwise this movie doesn't do much with its promising premise. Skip it.

Thanksgiving (2023)



Eli Roth's slasher film based on the faux trailer from Grind house (2007). A Black Friday riot turns tragic, causing the deaths of several people. A year later, A person wearing a pilgrim costume and a John Carved mask starts eliminating the people responsible for the riot. Numerous imaginative deaths start occurring while the teens at the center of the mystery try to help the police stop the rampage. Pretty decent gore in this one and like I said some are imaginative, although the first kill seems downright impossible to me. A good movie though and apparently there is a sequel in the works.

Plaster Caster. 2001 documentary about the groupie Cynthia "Plaster Caster".

"Caddyshack" (1980)

A teenage caddy (Michael O'Keefe) at a snooty country club gets drawn into a battle on the links between the stuffy, blue-blooded old members (led by Ted Knight at his slow burning best) and a wealthy but uncouth newcomer (Rodney Dangerfield). Meanwhile, groundskeeper Bill Murray declares all out war on gophers in this classic sports comedy that's basically "Animal House" on the golf course.  
I recently read Chris Nashawaty's excellent book Caddyshack: The Making of A Hollywood Cinderella Story, which prompted this re-watch. I've lost count of how many times I've seen this movie, but I never get tired of it.

Finished another 4 Pack Move Set last evening and WTF, were they rough to get through.

Leprechaun/Wish Master/Wish Master II/Pumpkinhead 2

The Leprechaun and Pumpkinhead 2 were on their own discs, but the two Wish Master flics were on each side of their own DVD. Weird ? it took me halfway through Leprechaun to realize who the Betty was. (Jennifer Aniston) Man that Betty is too skinny.

"Double Impact" (1991)

Jean-Claude Van Damme takes on a dual role as twin brothers, separated as infants when their parents were murdered. 25 years later, they're reunited with a plan to get even with the Hong Kong gangsters responsible for their deaths.
This was a pretty typical '90s mid-budget butt-kicker, but it's fun to watch Jean Claude playing against himself as the dorky Californian aerobics instructor "Chad" and his polar opposite brother, the cigar chomping tough guy "Alex." At one point the two bro's even fight each other, thanks to some impressive special effects wizardry.
JCVD apparently considers this to be one of his best films -- he was still talking about making a sequel (which has never materialized) well into the 2000s.

Fat Freddy wrote:

"Double Impact" (1991)
JCVD apparently considers this to be one of his best films -- he was still talking about making a sequel (which has never materialized) well into the 2000s.

I recall this somewhat. Most JCVD flicks are so similar, just like Stevie Seagal. I will grab any seen at pawn/thrift shops just out of curiosity. Sometimes there are some decent stuff in them, but even the other ones that are terrible have some comedy gold in them.

James B. wrote:

Fat Freddy wrote:

"Double Impact" (1991)
JCVD apparently considers this to be one of his best films -- he was still talking about making a sequel (which has never materialized) well into the 2000s.

I recall this somewhat.  Most JCVD flicks are so similar, just like Stevie Seagal.  I will grab any seen at pawn/thrift shops just out of curiosity.  Sometimes there are some decent stuff in them, but even the other ones that are terrible have some comedy gold in them.

Yup, those '80s and early '90s action flicks with Seagal, JCVD, etc. are like potato chips - you know they're not good, but you can't resist 'em.

To this day I can't understand how Steven Seagal managed to have a movie career. As an actor, he made Chuck Norris look like Laurence Olivier

The only Seagal movies that were worth sitting thru more than once IMO were Under Siege (even though it's a total Die Hard ripoff, it's a well made one) and whichever one it was where he played a Brooklyn cop and Pam Grier was his partner (was that Marked For Death or Out For Justice? I forget)...

Fat Freddy wrote:

To this day I can't understand how Steven Seagal managed to have a movie career. As an actor, he made Chuck Norris look like Laurence Olivier

He began his own Production Company and licensed his low budget films EVERYWHERE that had a VHS/DVD player.

A business model that potentially gives out hundreds of little paydays, and not just rolling the dice for that big American Blockbuster cash.

If you could show a 15% return on investment for slinging canned dog poop, the $ pigs will line up at that trough all day long.

James B. wrote:

He began his own Production Company and licensed his low budget films EVERYWHERE that had a VHS/DVD player.

Yeah, I read an article about Dolph Lundgren a while back that sez he did the same thing. He produces and stars in his own movies that he shoots in Eastern Europe for (at most) a million bucks per movie, then he sells the video/streaming rights for more than that around the world. Nice work if you can get it, I guess.

"Victor Frankenstein"



At the start, seeing the Barney from "Harry Potter" hunched over with his butt sticking out made me bust up (Wonder how he got the part?) and I could not keep from from flashing back to that every time dude came onscreen.

If Netflix re-made this movie, Igor would have been an AI version of this guy...

...

Married With Children

Riot V - Live at Wacken Open Air 2018

Nascar race from Atlanta Motor Speedway.

"The Couch Trip" (1988)

A mental patient (Dan Aykroyd) escapes from the hospital and assumes the identity of his doctor. He then heads to L.A. where he lands a gig filling in for a popular talk-radio psychiatrist. When his show becomes an unexpected sensation, he finds it harder and harder to keep up the deception.  
"Couch Trip" is not a top drawer Aykroyd comedy, but it has a few decent laughs and an impressive supporting cast that includes Donna Dixon (Dan's real-life wife) and the always-welcome Walter Matthau and Charles Grodin. Forgettable, but fun.

"Hired Gun" (2017)

An absorbing rock doc that celebrates the often-unsung side men of rock n' roll, who support the stars onstage and in the studio but rarely get the spotlight themselves. Interviewees include Jason Hook (Five Finger Death Punch), Nita Strauss (Alice Cooper), Jason Newsted, Eric Singer, Richard (Filter) Patrick, Kenny Aronoff, Liberty De Vitto (Billy Joel) and more. The biggest thing I learned from this doc is that Billy Joel is a dick who f**ked over his original backing band as soon as they started making money. Not cool, BJ!

The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live

Becker

"Easy Money" (1983)

A slovenly New Yorker (Rodney Dangerfield) stands to inherit $10 million from a rich relative if he can give up all of his bad habits - smoking, drinking, gambling, drugs, etc. -- for one year. Naturally, Rodney's attempts to stay on the straight and narrow result in all kinds of mayhem. It's a simple sitcom plot but Rodney makes the most of it. Funny stuff!

Public Enemies (2009)

Watched this due to having read the book, "Public Enemies: America's Greatest Crime Wave and the Birth of the FBI, 1933–34" by Bryan Burroughs. In which the movie is "supposedly" based on.  Of course, the movie was hovering no where near the books character insights , typical Hollywoodization of real events.  The path they took was more focused on the relationship between John Dillinger & "Billie" Frechette.  (IMHDO) The move should have been called "Bye-Bye Blackbird".  Referring to something Dillinger said to Frechette upon their initial meeting and the alleged last words spoken by Dillinger after getting shot, subsequently killed by federal agents. The biggest take on this movie was they did make note of how the Mafia viewed the glorification of the criminal element robbing banks from state to state in that era.  It put heat on them and was major cause for enacting Federal Laws enforcing interstate criminal activity.   Make a problem after they have a protocol of solution(s) that inevitably give them more power and chip away at civil liberties through use of fear in the name of safety.  

I would like to see the two main actors switch roles, Johnny Depp play "Purvis" and Christian Bale play  
"Dillinger".  Out of 5 unicorns & puppy dogs, I give this a 2.5    Mostly due to the automobiles and the approximation to details of the era.  I believe this was one of those purposely over produced movies that get written-off as a loss.

Watched this WWII movie where 'Mericuns stole a Natzee submarine to procure an Enigma coding machine. It was released in 2000. The "suspense" was there, I guess? The rest was just not realistic in the very least. The German scout plane out in the middle of the North Atlantic was a fighter. Then the German Destroyer, also out in the middle of the North Atlantic was all by it lonesome. Another bigtime The only actor pulling off the role was dude playing the Chief (Harvey Keitel).

At the ending credits, I saw John Bon Jovi was in the movie.
Which made me think this... "U-571 give film a bad name"

Out of 5 Unicorns & Puppy Dogs, this gets a solid 3/4 of 1.
The tail kinda/sorta began to wag and there was a nub where the horn is supposed to be.

Righteous Kill (2008)

It only took less than a minute of screen time for the two big name actors in the film to showcase their "talent" of playing the same "character" regardless of the role. (IMHDO) De Niro & Pacino have done some great roles in some great movies, but they are barely above Kevin Costner redundancy in the majority of latter films they have done individually or together. That "crazy, but serious" (Pacino) and the "smart but tough" (De Niro).  Even the nice looking nympho who liked it rough in bed could not save this film.  There is a twist that gets "revealed" towards the end.   But if you have the ability to "think", they reveal that earlier in the film by not showing or saying who did something pertinent to the story line.

Out of 5 Unicorns & Puppy Dogs, this does not rate on that scale.  

I kind of want my dollar back.

"Kickboxer" (1989)

Jean-Claude Van Damme takes Muai Thai fighting lessons in order to avenge his brother, an American kickboxer who was paralyzed during a championship fight in Bangkok. Pretty standard chop-socky junk, with impressive fight choreography and plenty of ultra-violence. Not a must see, but entertaining enough for a rainy night's viewing.

Been watching Bates Motel, based on the Psycho book/movie where in Norman Bates and his mother move from Arizona to a small town in Oregon after the death of his father. This town , however, has a lot of dark secrets and the unbalanced Bates family is slowly drawn in to the activities. This series has it all, rape,murder,sex trafficking and illegal drug running, and I'm only 5 episodes in. Really good show that draws you in and makes you want to watch more.