TODAY I WATCHED... (Movies. TV) 2022

Schlock-Tober continues...

"Zombie 5: Killing Birds" (aka "Killing Birds," 1988)

College students on a bird-watching expedition encounter the angry undead -- victims of a 25 year old mass murder - at an abandoned house deep in the Louisiana backwoods. Hilarity ensues.
...by this point, Italian movie makers were simply slapping the "Zombie" franchise name onto unrelated films in order to suck in unsuspecting video renters. This flick has no connection whatsoever to any of the earlier "Zombie" installments. In fact, there are barely even any zombies -- they don't start turning up till the movie is half over -- and the only "bird"-related killing happens off screen. So if you were hoping for a combo of "Night of the Living Dead" and "The Birds," you will be disappointed. Still, I liked this one better than "Zombie 4: After Death," because there was at least some attempt at a story, klutzy though it may have been. I also found myself wondering how they roped Robert "Man From U.N.C.L.E." Vaughn into this thing, I guess he needed a mortgage payment.
Your mileage may vary depending on your tolerance for barely-coherent Italian schlock.

Finale of She-Hulk :Attorney At Law

"Halloween Ends" (2022)

It's been four years since Laurie Strode last faced off against Michael Myers, who hasn't been seen since. Laurie has finally begun to embrace life again, until she comes into contact with a troubled young man who has designs on her granddaughter, and who eventually gives Laurie the same vibes that Michael did. After a lot of irrelevant sub plots and inter-personal drama, Michael finally lumbers back in (more than halfway through the damn movie!) for a final showdown.

The supposedly-final (though we all know it won't be) Halloween flick brings this latest trilogy to an awkward, unsatisfying close. Just like the last installment, Halloween Kills, it spends way too much time on side stories involving uninteresting new characters, and all but ignores the Laurie/Michael dynamic till the last quarter.

The 2018 Halloween was entertaining, but unnecessary. Halloween Kills was a major step down from that, and this one flat-out sucks.

If you must see it, stream it on Peacock, don't waste your time or money going to the theater.

The Walking Dead

Fat Freddy wrote:

"Halloween Ends" (2022)

It's been four years since Laurie Strode last faced off against Michael Myers, who hasn't been seen since. Laurie has finally begun to embrace life again, until she comes into contact with a troubled young man who has designs on her granddaughter, and who eventually gives Laurie the same vibes that Michael did. After a lot of irrelevant sub plots and inter-personal drama, Michael finally lumbers back in (more than halfway through the damn movie!) for a final showdown.

The supposedly-final (though we all know it won't be) Halloween flick brings this latest trilogy to an awkward, unsatisfying close. Just like the last installment, Halloween Kills, it spends way too much time on side stories involving uninteresting new characters, and all but ignores the Laurie/Michael dynamic till the last quarter.

The 2018 Halloween was entertaining, but unnecessary. Halloween Kills was a major step down from that, and this one flat-out sucks.

If you must see it, stream it on Peacock, don't waste your time or money going to the theater.

I watched this last night, and pretty much agree with your assessment. Just way too much superfluous stuff in the movie. And , without revealing too much, I didn't like how Michael Myers was relegated to second banana.

The Winchesters

The Wicker Man(1973)-a police officer in search of a missing girl, leads him to an island where the residents are pagans. Having no luck finding the girl and with the locals being no help, he becomes frustrated with the situation along with his Christian beliefs put him at odds the with the pagans as they prepare for their yearly celebration that will help bless their crops. A dark fantasy with some horror elements, this is considered one of the true classics of British films. Not much in terms of violence, but we do get some nudity from a certain hot blond in the film as well as British horror regulars Christopher Lee and Ingrid Pitt. 2.5/5

House Of The Dragon

I just watched the new episode of Family Guy.

Married With Children

Paranormal Caught On Camera

The Walking Dead

My Schlock-tober hasn't been very schlocky. Been putting in a lot of evening hours at my temp gig w/Spirit Halloween, which is cutting into my movie watching time. I'm home @ night the next two days though so hoping to put up a few more entries.

Last night:
"Halloween III: Season of the Witch" (1982)

The "Halloween" saga took a brief detour from Michael Myers with this ill-fated, high tech terror tale of a small town doctor (Tom Atkins) who discovers a Druid plot to murder millions of children on Halloween night via booby trapped masks, activated by a TV signal.
"III" was an unsuccessful attempt to turn the "Halloween" franchise into an annual series of stand-alone movies based around the holiday, but audiences wanted more Michael Myers, so they stayed away and "III" tanked at the box office. That's a shame cuz it's actually a pretty fun flick. Happily it seems to have developed a cult following in recent years, after decades of being hated/ignored. Dan O'Herlihy is great as the villainous mask maker, and John Carpenter's spooky as hell synthesized musical score is the coolest!

"The Changeling" (1980)

Following the tragic deaths of his wife and daughter, a composer (George C. Scott) moves across the country into an old mansion to work through his grief. However, he soon learns that his new home has a tragic history and some supernatural secrets of of its own. A very cool, old school, slow burning ghost story that raised the hairs on the back of my neck more than once. They don't make 'em like this anymore.

House Of The Dragon finale

"Halloween II" (1981)

Picking up mere moments after the events of the '78 O.G., Final Girl Laurie Strode is taken to Haddonfield Memorial Hospital, where Michael Myers eventually arrives to finish her off. Fortunately for lovers of carnage, the hospital is staffed by a variety of doctors and nurses who provide sufficient cannon fodder for ol' Mikey till Doctor Loomis arrives in the nick of time with his Big F'n Gun.
While not nearly on par with the original, of course, this is probably the best of the many sequels, it's faster paced and noticeably more gory/violent, with a much higher body count.
You're pretty much obligated to watch at least one "Halloween" movie during this time of year, you can certainly do worse than this one.

I watched The Simpsons episode Treehouse of Horror III. Clown Without Pity may be the best story they've had in the Treehouse of Horror episodes.

"Terror Train" (2022)

Tubi's latest "original movie" is a remake of the 1980 Jamie Lee Curtis cult classic. Three years after a hazing prank goes terribly wrong, a fraternity's annual Halloween party on board an old fashioned passenger train is invaded by a masked slasher with a grudge.
I'm not sure anybody really needed a remake of this movie, but since I haven't seen the original "Terror Train" in years, I can't really compare the two. The 2022 version is a pretty typical, cheap little slasher flick, populated with the usual bunch of idiot cannon fodder characters and a couple of good gory kills. Forgettable, but entertaining enough for a one-time watch.

The Winchesters

Paranormal Caught On Camera

Some episodes from season 6 of Night Court.

Walker

Three more Schlock-tober entries before the month closes out:

"Halloween: A Cut Above The Rest" (2003)

This in-depth documentary about the making of John Carpenter's 1978 original "Halloween" first appeared as a bonus feature on the film's 25th anniversary DVD. It's got lots of behind the scenes clips & photos and extensive interviews with all the movie's major players (Carpenter, Jamie Lee, P.J. Soles, etc.). Longtime fans probably won't learn anything new, but it's a fun trip down memory lane.

"John Carpenter's Vampires" (1998)

A squad of vampire slayers (led by an absolutely hilarious James Woods), sanctioned by the Catholic church, patrols the Southwest U.S. for nests of bloodsuckers. After wiping out a particularly nasty bunch of vamps, they have to stop a powerful "Master Vampire" who's gotten his hands on an artifact that will allow him and his brethren to walk in the daylight. A funny, violence packed horror/action/comedy blend in the "From Dusk Til Dawn" vein, that spawned two direct-to-video sequels (one of which starred Jon Bon Jovi, of all people!).

"The Majorettes" (1987)

Someone is killing the members of a small town high school's majorette squad. This flick starts out as a relatively simple slasher movie but quickly gets bogged down by random side plots involving a plan to steal an old lady's inheritance and a gang of drug dealing punks, which climaxes in an out of nowhere, full on action-movie gun battle full of explosions. I'm like "did they make this movie up as they went along?"
After a while the only thing keeping me watching this poorly acted train wreck were the pretty girls in various states of undress. Unless you have a high tolerance for Z-movie pain, you can safely AVOID this one.
Useless trivia, this truly weird '80s relic was written by John Russo (writer of the original Night Of The Living Dead) and directed by Bill Hinzman (aka the "Graveyard Zombie" from NOTLD).

The Majorettes book was much better than the movie. I saw it a long time ago and forgot all about it. What is that streaming on?

007 wrote:

The Majorettes book was much better than the movie. I saw it a long time ago and forgot all about it. What is that streaming on?

It's on Tubi. It's been on my watch list there for literally a couple of years, I just never got around to it till now. It wasn't worth the wait!

Fat Freddy wrote:

007 wrote:

The Majorettes book was much better than the movie. I saw it a long time ago and forgot all about it. What is that streaming on?

It's on Tubi. It's been on my watch list there for literally a couple of years, I just never got around to it till now. It wasn't worth the wait!

Thanks !

News Radio

Likely my final Schlock-Tober viewing unless I can squeeze in one more before work tomorrow:

"Zombie 3" (1988)

Yet another schlocky, in-name-only sequel to Lucio Fulci's gore classic "Zombi." This time an experiment gone wrong releases a virus into the atmosphere over a tropical island that re-animates the dead and turns them into ravenous flesh eaters. An RV full of co-eds on holiday and a group of soldiers on a weekend pass must band together to survive the onslaught. Not much plot, cardboard characters, lots of terrible acting, cheap gore, and ridiculously awkward dialogue ensue.
This flick was shot on the cheap in the Philippines, and it shows. Reportedly, director Lucio Fulci had to leave this movie in mid-production due to medical issues, and left the rest to be cobbled together by fellow Italian schlock maestros Claudio "Troll 2" Fragasso and Bruno "RoboWar" Mattei. The result is a movie that feels like it was made up as it went along, which probably isn't very far from the truth.
AVOID!