TODAY I WATCHED... (Movies, TV) 2021

Fat Freddy wrote:

"Willy's Wonderland" (2021)

A mysterious drifter (Nicolas Cage) takes an overnight job cleaning up a long-shuttered Chuck E. Cheese-style family fun center...but he soon learns he's not alone, and ends up locked in a life or death battle against the restaurant's bloodthirsty, demonically possessed animatronic creatures.
(...I swear I am not making this up.)
I'm not gonna lie, "Willy's" was dumb as hell, but a ton of fun. Any resemblance between its paper thin plot and the "Five Nights at Freddie's" video game franchise is totally coincidental, I'm sure (*COUGH COUGH*), but it's got plenty of over the top ultra violence, and Cage is a hoot, though I don't think he's even trying to be funny -- the guy is basically a walking meme at this point.
If you've already seen "The Banana Splits Movie" and need another fix of robotic kiddie-critter carnage, this goofball flick will fill the bill.

FNAF as a movie? AND Nick Cage?!  I'm in!  is that shit on Netflix?

SideShowDisaSter wrote:

FNAF as a movie?  AND Nick Cage?!  I'm in!  is that shit on Netflix?

I watched it on Hulu, dunno if it's on Netflix. Definitely worth a look just to witness the next chapter of Nicolas Cage's career going down in flames

tohostudios wrote:

Today I watched a Twilight Zone classic:  "It's A Good Life"

This super creepy episode features Bill (Will Robinson) Mumy as a 6 year old child who possesses mental powers that have enabled him to "wish away" everyone else in the entire world outside of his own town.  So now the townspeople (including his parents) do everything in their power to "think happy thoughts" and do whatever Anthony wants.  

Every time 6 year old Anthony exercises his mental powers to wish someone away to "the cornfield" or worse, turn them into some kind of monster, all the people around him say "It's good that you did that Anthony, REAL good" in an effort to save their own hides.  

Just a great episode that can be interpreted on multiple levels but I like thinking of it as a straight horror story of what could happen when a child who has not yet developed a moral compass can just do whatever he wants.

Joe "Gremlins" Dante re-did this episode for a segment of "Twilight Zone: The Movie."
Nancy "Bart Simpson" Cartwright played Anthony's sister "Ethel," who Anthony banishes into "Cartoon World" on the TV, where she gets eaten by a monster

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"Monster Hunter" (2020)

A squad of Army Rangers (led by Milla "Resident Evil" Jovovich) are on a search mission in the desert when they fall through a mysterious portal leading to another dimension, filled with hordes of giant spider-like bugs, a massive Graboid that attacks from beneath the sands, and huge fire breathing dragons. One by one, Milla's team gets picked off by the critters, leaving her to forge an alliance with some natives in order to find her way back home.
This fast paced sci-fi/action flick is apparently based on a video game (with which I am unfamiliar), so there's not much plot, just a lot of cool CGI'd monsters and Milla kicking all kinds of ass. This is the kind of movie that's fun to watch while it's playing, but instantly forgettable as soon as it's over.

That sounds like something I might like.  I'll have to check it out.

tohostudios wrote:

That sounds like something I might like.  I'll have to check it out.

It's totally disposable but OK for a single watch. The DVD only cost me 50 cents (picked it randomly from a church rummage sale this weekend) so for that price, I had no complaints.

"Face/Off" (1997)

Using high tech face swapping plastic surgery, an FBI agent (John Travolta) is transformed into his terrorist arch-enemy (Nicolas Cage) so he can infiltrate the bad guys' organization. Unfortunately, the comatose Cage character wakes up and has Travolta's face attached to his skull, so he can continue to wage mayhem. Lots of bullets fly and plenty of stuff blows up real good before the two men meet for a final (ahem) face-to-face showdown.
Hong Kong director John Woo's mega budget action/sci-fi hit is sort of an ultra-violent take on "Freaky Friday." The two leading men are clearly having a blast "playing" each other (especially Travolta). 20+ years after its release, the stunt work and action sequences in "Face/Off" are still impressive. Well worth revisiting.

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"Under Siege" (1992)

The Navy battleship USS Missouri has been taken over by a squad of terrorists, who want to steal the ship's nuclear missiles. Fortunately for the good guys, the ship's lowly cook happens to be Casey Ryback (Steven Seagal), former Navy SEAL, legendary butt kicker, and all around bad-ass. You can probably figure out the rest.
Steven Seagal never could act worth a damn, but this nautical "Die Hard" variant remains his best movie, due mostly to its unique setting and a great supporting cast that includes two of the all time great scenery chewers (Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey, both of whom give classic, deranged performances) and former Playmate/future "Baywatch" babe Erika Eleniak, who was at her absolute peak of hottie perfection. This is the only Seagal movie I've ever bothered to see more than once.

Beyond The Door 3 (1990)



Seven students embark on an educational trip to Yugoslavia and soon become embroiled in a Satanic plot as one of the female students is chosen to become Lucifer's bride. The other students are considered expendable and begin meeting gruesome ends. A rather silly movie, with cheap practical effects and several scenes spoken in Croatian with no subtitles, so if you don't speak the language, you have to guess what they're talking about.

TMZ Investigates:UFOs:The Pentagon Proof

Documentary about the recently released Pentagon video footage of UFOs buzzing near Navy jets and ships and their admission that they have no clues as to what they could. Two men are fighting for full disclosure on what the government actually does no about what's going on out there.

Today will watch, at least part of 'Gone with the Wind' not sure if I can watch the entire movie in one single sitting

"The Toxic Avenger" (1984)

Nerdy health-club janitor Melvin has an unfortunate run-in with some toxic waste, which turns him into a hideous creature with super strength. He uses his new powers to defend his home town from a variety of crooks, murderous scum bags, and corrupt politicians, dispensing splattery justice from his toxic-waste-dump home base.
This legendary sickie was Troma Films' biggest "hit" -- it went on to spawn several sequels, a kid-friendly cartoon show (!) and even a toy line (!!). Like most Troma flicks, it's sleazy, tasteless, and full of cheap but effective gross out effects. It's dumb as hell (on purpose) but hey, sometimes you just want to watch a movie where a hulked-out toxic mutant rips people's arms and legs off.

Additional fun fact: the fat guy who played the owner of the dry cleaner's shop taught English and Film Study at my high school in Paramus, NJ. I hadn't seen "Toxic" yet when I took his class in the mid-80s, but some of the other kids had, and they gave him no end of sh*t about it cuz he always tried to come off as a high brow, "serious cinema" kind of guy.

I'll never forget the first time I saw Toxic Avenger and that scene where the hoodlums run over a guy's head with a car. I was like "Holy s***!!!!!!". I rewound the tape and played it back in slo-mo multiple times. Of course now I've seen far worse but TA is still enjoyable in its sleazy, Troma way. I've seen at least 3 sequels and each one gets not only worse but dumber than the one before it. By the time Last Temptation Of Toxie (or something like that) came out it made the original look like Citizen Kane.

tohostudios wrote:

I'll never forget the first time I saw Toxic Avenger and that scene where the hoodlums run over a guy's head with a car.  I was like "Holy s***!!!!!!".  I rewound the tape and played it back in slo-mo multiple times.  Of course now I've seen far worse but TA is still enjoyable in its sleazy, Troma way.  I've seen at least 3 sequels and each one gets not only worse but dumber than the one before it.  By the time Last Temptation Of Toxie (or something like that) came out it made the original look like Citizen Kane.

It wasn't just a "guy" whose head got run over, it was a little kid! Just to give it that little bit of extra "ewwwww!"

I hadn't seen it in a long time, so I'd forgotten how utterly tasteless "Toxic" was.  I cringed when the gang of robbers in the fast food joint shot the blind girl's seeing eye dog.

...and then, of course comes the immortal line when the gang's leader tries to violate the girl: "I always wanted to corn hole me a BLIND bitch!"

I remember that line and I remember laughing my ass off. The whole thing is just so relentlessly tasteless on purpose that only a person with zero sense of humor could take any of it seriously.

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"Greetings From Tromaville!" (2018)

The history of Lloyd Kaufman's infamous Troma Films studio, best known for the "Toxic Avenger" and "Class of Nuke Em High" franchises, is examined via interviews, photos, and (of course) plenty of gross out clips from the Troma back catalog.
This documentary was obviously a labor of love by a longtime fanboy, but it runs way too long (a hair over two hours). The first half of the movie, which covers Troma's classic '70s and '80s period, was fun to watch, but by the time they started droning on about later era stuff that nobody gives a sh*t about like "Killer Rack" (?), I was checking my watch and wondering when it would be over.  
Lloyd seems like a cool dude though, and he has obviously mastered the art of making movies on the cheap, which has inspired a whole new generation of low budget film makers. For that, he has my respect.

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This was really, really bad.

A good percentage of the movie is actually comprised of stock footage. The stock footage isn't even blended well. There are scenes where the original footage is mixed with stock footage, and the stock footage includes different lighting, climate, etc., to the footage shot for the film. Even what little hand to hand combat is in the movie (star Olivier Gruner is a former kickboxing champion in France) is poor. According to IMDb, this had a $3,500,000 budget. That's hilarious. I'd say closer to $3.50.

"Eddie Murphy: Delirious!" (1983)


Eddie captured at the height of his comedic powers in Washington DC, riffing on homosexuals, Elvis, and growing up. Some of the most notorious bits in this classic performance definitely wouldn't fly today!

Some appropriate viewing for July 4th...

"Jaws" (1975)

The quiet seaside resort town of Amity is plagued by a series of fatal shark attacks, until the police chief (Roy Scheider), an old salt (Robert Shaw), and a young oceanographer (Richard Dreyfuss) set out to sea to hunt the critter down.
Steven Spielberg's mega-hit based on Peter Benchley's best seller broke every box office record in the book and ushered in the "summer blockbuster" era. It's been a few years since I last saw it, but "Jaws" still holds up extremely well.
"Jaws" was followed by several Spielberg-less sequels, which range in quality from "meh" ("Jaws 2") to "God-awful crap" ("Jaws 3" and "Jaws: The Revenge'). In my book, the O.G. is the only one you need to watch. (That said... all four are currently streaming for free on Peacock, so God help me, I now have an irrational desire to run the table on the entire series.)

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