TODAY I WATCHED (Movies, TV series) 2015

Pantera-Planets of Destruction

A double shot of grindhouse goodies today on my day off...

"Satan's School For Girls" (1973)

Irresistibly schlocky made-for-TV cheese produced by Aaron Spelling and starring two of his future "Charlie's Angels" (Kate Jackson and Cheryl Ladd). When her sister commits suicide, a woman investigates a series of similarly mysterious deaths at the exclusive girls' academy they all attended. Naturally there's something sinister goin' on behind the scenes. Cheap, silly and full of over-acting eye candy.

"The Deadly Spawn" (aka "Return of the Alien's Deadly Spawn," 1983)

A hungry alien parasite crash-lands on earth via a meteor, sets up shop in a suburban basement, and eventually starts munching on the neighbors. Hilarity, naturally, ensues. This ultra-cheap, ultra-gory monster mash was filmed in my home state of New Jersey on a shoe string budget (supposedly around $25K) and believe it or not, it's better than it has any right to be!

Gotham

Only my second time watching this show but I'm digging it.  It's warped.

Saw a buttload of good stuff this week. One title, however, was one of the biggest disappointments I've run across in a good while.

NIGHTCRAWLER - A. Jake G gives his strongest performance in a tale of irony sprinkled with dark humor. A great dissection of media exploitation and man's obsession with capitalist ambitions.

IT FOLLOWS - A-. Killer atmospheric ghost story. I actually detest ghost stories but here we have something much different that emphasizes brooding, impending doom over jumps and scares. In fact, not a single "red herring jump" is to be found here. The electronic Carpenter-esque score is equally haunting, and actress Maika Monroe is hauntingly gorgeous. In fact...

THE GUEST - B+. Didn't mean to watch two horror movies in a row with the same actress but hell, I could've watched her more than that. Here we have a textbook example of how a mediocre script rife with cliche can be elevated by its cast and director. We not only have Monroe but also Dan Stevens of Downton Abbey (Matthew) fame--and damn do they both deliver. Director Adam Wingard spins a ton of energy and flourish here. The dispatches are shockingly unexpected and even the standard, predictable serial killer ending has a fair amount of tension. Worth a look-see (on Netflix and Amazon Prime).

COMPLIANCE - C-. Competently shot indie based of a true life incident where a prank call was made to a fast food joint resulting in one of its workers accused of theft and subsequently strip-searched and shamed in the back office. Now, I worked Starbucks for some years and, though it ain't fast food, being that it's the same industry I found some of these shallow archetypes rather convincing. But god does this pic derail early on. Gaps in logic appear as soon as the conflict is introduced and only grow wider as characters do stupid, stupid things. It's all rather one-note and a tad exploitative, with virtually nothing to say. Pretty tough slog.

DIE HARD 2 & 3 - A-/A. God these movies are so much f*cking fun. Still haven't seen the last two.

THESE FINAL HOURS - A-. Indie apocalypse flick from the Outback. World is getting fried alive by a meteorite, I think, and it's up to an airhead loser to get to a party and get wasted. I know that sounds like a Seth Rogen title but trust me, it's bleak. Anyway en route he rescues a little girl in search of her daddy, convincing him to put the party on hold and help. This one really blew me away with its raw yet subtle emotions and large-scale shooting on such a low budget. Very character driven, some of the scenes are disturbing to watch in their violent nihilism. The ending also satisfies, something rare in these types of movies. Really wishing it would get some widespread recognition; the director is one to be watching for sure. Available on Netflix.

Also started Daredevil--really strong--and Jericho--really strong except for its CW stylings (pop music every five minutes, turgid love story, heavy-handed cinematics)--and halfway through Ken Burns' The War.

"The Penguins of Madagascar" (2014)



In their debut full-length adventure, the paramilitary penguins face off against a supervillain octopus who has an axe to grind with all of penguin-kind. Essentially this is an animated "Mission: Impossible" flick with an all-funny-animal cast. Lots of cartoon mayhem, fun for kids, painless for their parents.

corplhicks wrote:

NIGHTCRAWLER - A. Jake G gives his strongest performance in a tale of irony sprinkled with dark humor. A great dissection of media exploitation and man's obsession with capitalist ambitions.

IT FOLLOWS - A-. Killer atmospheric ghost story. I actually detest ghost stories but here we have something much different that emphasizes brooding, impending doom over jumps and scares. In fact, not a single "red herring jump" is to be found here. The electronic Carpenter-esque score is equally haunting, and actress Maika Monroe is hauntingly gorgeous. In fact...

THE GUEST - B+. Didn't mean to watch two horror movies in a row with the same actress but hell, I could've watched her more than that. Here we have a textbook example of how a mediocre script rife with cliche can be elevated by its cast and director. We not only have Monroe but also Dan Stevens of Downton Abbey (Matthew) fame--and damn do they both deliver. Director Adam Wingard spins a ton of energy and flourish here. The dispatches are shockingly unexpected and even the standard, predictable serial killer ending has a fair amount of tension. Worth a look-see (on Netflix and Amazon Prime).

Those three were all great. It Follows is more arthouse than horror (which is why many horror fans didn't like it) which is a-okay with me. Beautifully done. I think Maika Monroe is going to be a huge star, she has that quality.

Will check out These Final Hours soon.

"Hero and the Terror" (1988)



A blander-than-usual late '80s entry for Chuck Norris. The Mighty Bearded One plays a typically bad-ass L.A. cop who's hunting for a particularly brutal serial woman-strangler while juggling romantic issues and impending fatherhood on the home front. Skip it.

Buffy the Vampire slayer - Season 1

"Crowley" aka "Chemical Wedding" (2008)



Bruce Dickinson produced and co-wrote this oddball horror concoction, in which an experiment gone wrong results in the spirit of the infamous occultist Aleister Crowley possessing the body of a modern-day British professor. Naturally ol' Al wastes no time picking up where he left off in his series of strange magick rituals, most of which require attractive naked women, hypodermic needles, and plenty of blood.

The movie's a little over complicated and feels like it's about fifteen minutes too long, but there was so much weirdness and gratuitious nudity goin' on that I was never bored. "Crowley" may not have been particularly GOOD, but it's certainly an interesting curiosity, especially for Iron Maiden fans.

Who's the bald guy in that still shot?  He look something like George "The Animal" Steele.

His name is Simon Callow, he's the guy who gets "possessed" by Crowley.

....Don't worry,  I never heard of him either.

Fat Freddy wrote:

"Crowley" aka "Chemical Wedding" (2008)



Bruce Dickinson produced and co-wrote this oddball horror concoction, in which an experiment gone wrong results in the spirit of the infamous occultist Aleister Crowley possessing the body of a modern-day British professor. Naturally ol' Al wastes no time picking up where he left off in his series of strange magick rituals, most of which require attractive naked women, hypodermic needles, and plenty of blood.

The movie's a little over complicated and feels like it's about fifteen minutes too long, but there was so much weirdness and gratuitious nudity goin' on that I was never bored. "Crowley" may not have been particularly GOOD, but it's certainly an interesting curiosity, especially for Iron Maiden fans.

A unintentionally hilarious movie based of many misconceptions of Aleister Crowley and his teachings IMHO. Still entertaining none the less and has a cool Iron Maiden connection through Bruce.

Columbina

Snowpiercer - B+. Another dystopian sci-fi, this time with a unique setting and more intelligence to spare than all the YA fodder we've had to swim through lately. At times too earnest and OTT, and the director's obsession with slow-mo--a thing that also damaged his otherwise splendid "The Host"--becomes trying. Still, this kept me engaged and thinking more than I expected.

Addicted to Jericho, halfway through season one. Here we have an intense show filmed in the worst way possible. The whole nuclear holocaust environment, which really strives for plausibility, is depicted like One Tree Hill. Over-scored with bombast (I'm so tired of hearing an acoustic guitar and synth every time two people carry out an exchange), edited with an iron hand, and skimping on proper aesthetic effect (electricity is gone yet chicks can still somehow straighten their hair), the intelligent and engaging writing on this show deserved a lot better. Should've been on Showtime or HBO. Still, I'm hooked--not a surprise since nuclear war is kind of an obsession interest of mine, as well as my greatest fear.

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A unintentionally hilarious movie based of many misconceptions of Aleister Crowley and his teachings IMHO. Still entertaining none the less and has a cool Iron Maiden connection through Bruce.

Yeah, it was a strange one. It felt like an update of those old, oh-so-British Hammer Horror movies, but with way more perversion.

What We Do In The Shadows...a mockumentary about 3 vampires living in modern day society. Hilarious!!


Shot and produced in New Zealand, it has a very British-humor type thing going for it. If you like dry, British wit mixed with vampires, I highly recommend it. For a low-budget film, the effects were surprisingly good too.

MetalGuy71 wrote:

What We Do In The Shadows...a mockumentary about 3 vampires living in modern day society. Hilarious!!


Shot and produced in New Zealand, it has a very British-humor type thing going for it. If you like dry, British wit mixed with vampires, I highly recommend it. For a low-budget film, the effects were surprisingly good too.

Glad you got around to seeing that. One of the funniest movies of the year easily.

A co-worker brought it to my attention. Apparently they are working on a sequel focusing on the swearwolves, er, werewolves.

I also watched 'Mad Max Fury Road' this weekend, but passed out during the last 15 minutes. I woke up to credits rolling. I'll just assume everything worked out ok for Max and he lived happily ever after.

This was excellent too...The Wrecking Crew

The shear amount of hit music put out by these 15-20 studio musicians is astounding!!

^^ "Wrecking Crew" is on my Netflix list right now, I just haven't had time to check it out yet.

Fat Freddy wrote:

^^ "Wrecking Crew" is on my Netflix list right now, I just haven't had time to check it out yet.

It's funny to hear how The Monkees caught most of the flak for being a band that "didn't play on their own albums" when in truth, neither did 95% of the music coming out of that era. Even established bands like the Beach Boys relied on these session guys to record the albums. What they could do in 3 hours would take 3 weeks.

From the Horror Box Set:

Metropolis (1927) - Fritz Lang's silent classic about a futuristic city divided by the working class and the idle upper class, and the city's ruler's son who falls in love with a working class girl and the two's plan to unite the city. Visually stunning and a quite compelling movie for one that's about 90 years old. Note: this was actually the restored version available on Netflix because the version on my dvd was in pretty poor condition.

007 wrote:

From the Horror Box Set:

Metropolis (1927) - Fritz Lang's silent classic about a futuristic city divided by the working class and the idle upper class, and the city's ruler's son who falls in love with a working class girl and the two's plan to unite the city. Visually stunning and a quite compelling movie for one that's about 90 years old. Note: this was actually the restored version available on Netflix because the version on my dvd was in pretty poor condition.

Cool. Glad you watched a decent print, that movie deserves to be seen in the best quality you can find.

I've only seen a handful of silent movies but I think Metropolis may be the best yet.

S.D. wrote:

007 wrote:

From the Horror Box Set:

Metropolis (1927) - Fritz Lang's silent classic about a futuristic city divided by the working class and the idle upper class, and the city's ruler's son who falls in love with a working class girl and the two's plan to unite the city. Visually stunning and a quite compelling movie for one that's about 90 years old. Note: this was actually the restored version available on Netflix because the version on my dvd was in pretty poor condition.

Cool.  Glad you watched a decent print, that movie deserves to be seen in the best quality you can find.  

Absolutely. I've seen one of the DVD versions and my god what a mess. The restored cut is ideal.

Dark Star