Dare to be Stupid

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.


(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
A congressional candidate in Texas

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.."
Al Gore, Vice President

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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix "
Dan Quayle

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
Keppel Enderbery

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Is the Mariah Carey one real?

I wouldn't be surprised if the Carey one was real. I remember being in Japan a few years ago and seeing an interview with her on telly (in English) and she was promoting her new album E=MC2. When asked about the title, she was just like "oh well some guy had some theory with my initials..." I think Einstein and the theory of relativity are above 'some guy' and 'some theory'. She seems about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.

I believe that the Mariah Carey one is real. I've read that quote before, and not in one of these types of lists.

My favorite has to go to Joe Theisman, he speaketh the truth!!

Orion Crystal Ice wrote:

Is the Mariah Carey one real?

Nope.

http://www.snopes.com/quotes/carey.asp

When I saw the thread title "Dare to be Stupid," I thought this was gonna be a thread about the Weird Al Yankovic album. Crushing disappointment.

Fat Freddy wrote:

When I saw the thread title "Dare to be Stupid," I thought this was gonna be a thread about the Weird Al Yankovic album. Crushing disappointment.

These quotes reminded me the most of his Weirdness so I couldnt resist!!

I actually have that album.

Joe wrote:

I actually have that album.

i have that song on the Transformers soundtrack!

I thought that quote attributed to Danny Ozark was actually a "Yogi-ism".

well, it's a variation that isn't as funny. "90% of the game is half mental."

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
Lee Iacocca

Joe wrote:

I actually have that album.

I do too! I love the song I Want A New Duck.

Haha exact, I originally thought that this was going to be Weird Al related. Topically, I found out this afternoon that Weird Al is going to perform in the UK towards the end of 2010 for the first time in years. I can't wait!

Smindas wrote:

Haha exact, I originally thought that this was going to be Weird Al related. Topically, I found out this afternoon that Weird Al is going to perform in the UK towards the end of 2010 for the first time in years. I can't wait!

never let it be said that my posts are even on topic

Yogi owns all these guys.

TheNazgul wrote:

Yogi owns all these guys.

how about picnic basket, boo boo!!

Smindas wrote:

Haha exact, I originally thought that this was going to be Weird Al related. Topically, I found out this afternoon that Weird Al is going to perform in the UK towards the end of 2010 for the first time in years. I can't wait!

A guy in my office is going to see Weird Al tonight in Asbury Park, NJ.

Fat Freddy wrote:

Smindas wrote:

Haha exact, I originally thought that this was going to be Weird Al related. Topically, I found out this afternoon that Weird Al is going to perform in the UK towards the end of 2010 for the first time in years. I can't wait!

A guy in my office is going to see Weird Al tonight in Asbury Park, NJ.

I saw Weird Al 9 years ago - he put on a great show!

thejokeriv wrote:

I saw Weird Al 9 years ago - he put on a great show!

My co-worker sez the Al show was great -- he did "Dare to be Stupid" and his final encore was "Yoda!" I was like "DAMN!"

If I ever saw Al, I'd want him to play the entire "Dare to be Stupid" record from beginning to end. I love that album.

I meant Yogi Berra.

Did he steal your pic-a-nic basket?

Woops...... wrong Yogi!!!

thejokeriv wrote:

Did he steal your pic-a-nic basket?

Woops...... wrong Yogi!!!

Someone should combine the two Yogi's on Youtube.