MEGA PIRANHA!!

Fellow bad movie lovers...our ship has come in!!



For those of us who were masochistic enough to actually enjoy the Asylum's cheez-tastic, craptacular epic "Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus" (i.e., me and Spec), check out their latest forthcoming "Mockbuster" set for DVD in April of 2010... obviously intended to bite (pun not intended) off of the upcoming, big budget "Piranha 3-D" remake that's also due later this year.

Continuing with the Asylum's tradition of putting has-been '80s teen-pop queens in their movies ("Mega Shark" featured a fine acting turn by Debbie/Deborah Gibson), "Mega Piranha" stars Deb's old rival Tiffany (!) alongside Barry "Greg Brady" Williams.

When this movie comes out I am SO renting it!! How can you lose with a powerhouse acting combo like that?

Betcha this is only the lead in to an eventual crossover "Mega Piranha Vs. Giant Octopus vs. Mega Shark" movie...

Or perhaps... "Mega Lobster?" "Mega Crab?" "Mega-Clam Vs. Giant Oyster?" The possibilities are endless!!!

I loved the original Piranha movies

kmorg wrote:

I loved the original Piranha movies

Me too. I still have the original (1978) on VHS somewhere around the house. Legend has it that Steven Spielberg hired Joe Dante to direct "Gremlins" on the strength of that movie, saying it was "The best Jaws ripoff I've ever seen."

"Piranha II: The Spawning" is a hoot and a half too. Love the flying piranhas!!! Hard to believe that James Cameron got his start as a director on that movie. He's come a looooong way baby!

I love sooooo many of those fanous directors debuts. Duel is another classic, f.ex.

kmorg wrote:

I love sooooo many of those fanous directors debuts. Duel is another classic, f.ex.

Oh yea, Dennis Weaver vs. Giant Truck. That's a classic!

I wish I knew you guys 20 years ago. I owned close to 600 horror/splatter movies, and knew all the names of the actors, directors etc. Now I can hardly remember what I ate for breakfast.

Kmorg wrote:

I wish I knew you guys 20 years ago. I owned close to 600 horror/splatter movies, and knew all the names of the actors, directors etc. Now I can hardly remember what I ate for breakfast.

I wish that 20 years ago I'd been using the valuable real estate in my brain for something more useful than memorizing B-Movie titles, dialogue, actors, directors, and heavy metal trivia. .


Speaking of which, the original "Piranha" has one of my all time favorite bits of movie dialogue in it:

Resort employee to boss: "Sir, the piranhas..."

Resort Owner: "I told you, I don't want to hear anymore about the god***n piranhas! What about the god***n piranhas?"

Resort employee: "Uh...they're eating the guests, sir."

Awesome! I still remember Piranha from when I was a kid. What a great, cheesy, classic movie.

Heather Menzies, who played the heroine in 1978's "Piranha," played one of the Von Trapp children in "The Sound Of Music" when she was a kid. Kind of an odd career trajectory.

.....see? This is the kind of useless crap I was talking about in my earlier post. Why do I remember these things??

I think it's awesome. I secretly wish I was a mix of you and Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory.

kmorg wrote:

I think it's awesome. I secretly wish I was a mix of you and Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory.

Thanks. Awesome but ultimately useless, I guess, unless I manage to get on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" or "Jeopardy" and put some of this trivia to good use by winning big $$$!

Speaking of "Piranha," the "Piranha 3-D" remake that's in the works sounds promising and gnarly. Supposedly a trailer for it was released with "Avatar" in the States but I haven't seen it yet. Alexandre Aja (the French horror guy who did the "Hills Have Eyes" remake and "Haute Tension") directed it.

Although, it was supposed to come out this Spring but apparently has been pushed back to August of this year... and that's usually not a good sign. August is traditionally the dumping ground for studios to get rid of movies that they really don't give a crap about.

I was exactly like you. I used to bore/amaze my friends to death with all the useless movie/metal trivia. But working with thinner for 13 years has erased most of the useless memories.

kmorg wrote:

I was exactly like you. I used to bore/amaze my friends to death with all the useless movie/metal trivia. But working with thinner for 13 years has erased most of the useless memories.

At least your friends were impressed. All I ever got was "Dude, why do you know this sh*t?"

With my luck, I'd get on "Jeopardy" and all the questions would be about ancient history, mathematics, non-trashy literature and science, all of which I know nothing about.

There used to be a quiz game show on Comedy Central here called "Beat The Geeks" where all of the questions were about TV, movies, and music... I used to watch that and go "How do I get on this thing, I'd be perfect for it, I could smoke all of these people!" ... unfortunately it was cancelled fairly quickly. So much for my get-rich-quick scheme.

Might have to catch it when it airs of ScyFy Channel

thejokeriv wrote:

Might have to catch it when it airs of ScyFy Channel

Now that you mention it, I might wait to take the SyFy route too... when "Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus" first showed up on my cable's On Demand last year, I ordered it, then it premiered on SyFy like two weeks later ...my wife was all pissed off at me for blowing $4.95 on it (and making her sit thru it) when I could've just waited a little while and seen it for nuthin'.

Besides, we all know there is NO WAY that the movie will reflect the awesomeness of that DVD cover art whatsoever.

Fat Freddy wrote:

thejokeriv wrote:

Might have to catch it when it airs of ScyFy Channel

Now that you mention it, I might wait to take the SyFy route too... when "Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus" first showed up on my cable's On Demand last year, I ordered it, then it premiered on SyFy like two weeks later ...my wife was all pissed off at me for blowing $4.95 on it (and making her sit thru it) when I could've just waited a little while and seen it for nuthin'.

Besides, we all know there is NO WAY that the movie will reflect the awesomeness of that DVD cover art whatsoever.

Well, the other issue is that it will be "edited for television", unless they do the late night, Comedy Central un-cut type thing.

thejokeriv wrote:

Well, the other issue is that it will be "edited for television", unless they do the late night, Comedy Central un-cut type thing.

I've found that SyFy tends to edit mainly for bad language, they leave the bulk of the "good stuff" in (i.e., gore)...I've seen some pretty nasty-ass stuff on SyFy (eyeball gougings, people's heads getting smashed in, etc.)

They also cut out any boobies, of course, but somehow I doubt Tiffany's gonna take off her top in this movie, and even if she does, I'm not sure if I wanna see her goods after all these years anyway. Gravity's probably pullin' on her like she's a Stretch Armstrong doll.

Quote :

They also cut out any boobies, of course, but somehow I doubt Tiffany's gonna take off her top in this movie, and even if she does, I'm not sure if I wanna see her goods after all these years anyway. Gravity's probably pullin' on her like she's a Stretch Armstrong doll.

That's what is useful with still having the Payboy she was in. Good ol' reminiscence.

But yes, its going to be a shitty movie. But I want to see it anyways. Hopefully my piranhas won't be getting ay ideas.

Mega Piranha Pix! (Still looking for a trailer... no luck yet)



If this is the actual size of the fish in the movie, then those giant piranhas chomping down battleships on the DVD cover are totally false advertising. I haven't even seen the movie yet and I already want my money back.



Muscle Bound Hero dude toting a Nerf Blaster?




Greg Brady is pensive (and crater faced).

No luck finding a trailer for "Mega Piranha," but I did find one for the movie they're ripping off, Alexandre Aja's "Piranha 3D" -- looks like good, dumb gory fun to me!!

Was that Christopher Lloyd?

kmorg wrote:

Was that Christopher Lloyd?

I had to watch it again to be sure, but yup, I do believe that's him!

I hope the 3-D is good, because I'm really starting to hate these digital created monsters. I know it's the way it is, but I miss the stock footage and animatronics.

Back in the early 90's a local video store was closing and selling the inventory. My buddy Chas and I cleaned them out. Piranha 1&2 were the big scores.

This thread reminds me of two of my all-time favorite movies in this genre -

Alligator and Day Of The Animals.

jstate wrote:

Back in the early 90's a local video store was closing and selling the inventory. My buddy Chas and I cleaned them out. Piranha 1&2 were the big scores.

Nice. As I mentioned earlier, I still have a VHS of the first "Piranha" around the house somewhere, I may have to dig it out now that I'm thinking about it. Never owned "Piranha II" but it used to turn up on local TV on Saturday or Sunday afternoons a lot in the late 80s, I must've seen that flick a dozen times. I've almost bought it on DVD a few times now. Last time I saw it in a store, it even had a big sticker on it that said "FROM THE DIRECTOR OF TITANIC AND TRUE LIES!"

Quote :

This thread reminds me of two of my all-time favorite movies in this genre -

Alligator and Day Of The Animals.

Alligator is an AWESOME killer-creature flick! I haven't seen that one in ages. I dont' think it was available on DVD (at least in the U.S.) till fairly recently.