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 Aerosmith story in "The Onion"

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Tall Tyrion
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PostSubject: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeTue Jul 08, 2008 3:32 pm

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/steven_tyler_laid_off_from

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with The Onion (shame on you!), it is a humor/satire publication... therefore the above article is a hoax. So nobody panic, Steven Tyler isn't really going anywhere!!

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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeTue Jul 08, 2008 4:10 pm

Quote :
"I'm going to miss Steven," said rhythm guitarist Brad Whitford. "He was a good guy, and, I don't know, I thought he sang pretty well."
lol!
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tohostudios
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeTue Jul 08, 2008 4:13 pm

Obviously, Eyesore is familiar with The Onion.

I miss Herbert.

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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeTue Jul 08, 2008 4:32 pm

tohostudios wrote:
Obviously, Eyesore is familiar with The Onion.

I miss Herbert.
Me, too! I can't believe they killed him. Haha. I still need to buy that memorial shirt.
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Tall Tyrion
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeTue Jul 08, 2008 6:37 pm

I love the Onion. I almost peed my pants when I was on vacation in Wisconson and saw they had a print version. Great stuff.
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeTue Jul 08, 2008 6:45 pm

Tall Tyrion wrote:
I love the Onion. I almost peed my pants when I was on vacation in Wisconson and saw they had a print version. Great stuff.

I still have a few copies of the print version in a drawer somewhere from when I visited my buddy in Wisconsin about ten years ago. That was where I first discovered it. I loved it so much that for a while he was sending me occasional packages with a bunch of Onion issues in it.

Once it went online he said "OK, now you can read it on the Net, you don't need me anymore."

I too miss Herbert (Tha H-Dog) Kornfeld!! I'll mourn ya till I join ya, brutha!

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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeTue Jul 08, 2008 7:17 pm

Fat Freddy wrote:
I'll mourn ya till I join ya, brutha!
lol!
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DeathCult
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeTue Jul 08, 2008 11:32 pm

Tying a scarf to a microphone stand is unfortunately no longer a marketable skill," IndustryWeek editor David Blanchard said. "To compete in today's job market, you need to diversify your skill set. Someone who can not only sing, but also play tambourine and haul heavy equipment, is infinitely more valuable to a company."


Laughing very hard
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeWed Jul 09, 2008 3:49 am

Good ol' Onion.
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Fat Freddy
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeWed Jul 09, 2008 8:33 am

Everytime I re-read that piece I see a new part that kills me.

Quote :
Analysts speculate that the sector-wide layoff was a result of multiple factors, including redundancies in the singing-songwriting division, rising rehab fees that have cost the group millions, and a 34 percent decline in jump-kicks since 2003. In addition, some of Aerosmith's younger, more ambitious employees, such as Joe Perry, 57, are willing to sing and play an instrument at the same time, often for half the salary.

Laughing very hard

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Tall Tyrion
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeWed Jul 09, 2008 10:53 am

Here are some other classic Onion rock 'n' roll pieces:

ZZ Top Grants Clinton Keys To Magic Hot Rod:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30144

Rest Of U2 Perfectly Fine With Africans Starving
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43192

Unreleased Jimmy Page Guitar Riff To Be Retrieved From Secret Vault To Save Rock And Roll
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/unreleased_jimmy_page_guitar_riff
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeWed Jul 09, 2008 11:02 am

Haha! Those are awesome. I'd never seen the ZZ Top/Clinton one before.

Here's my all time fave:
"Marilyn Manson Now Going Door-To-Door Trying to Shock People"
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28771

And some other good ones:
"Bassist Unaware Rock Band is Christian"
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28634

"Christian Rockers Deny Kicking Ass"
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39224

"Kid Rock Starves to Death, MP3 Piracy Blamed"
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28467

"Clinton Writes Fan Letter to Joan Jett"
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29198

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Tall Tyrion
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeWed Jul 09, 2008 11:10 am

I've never seen that Manson one. Classic! lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeWed Jul 09, 2008 11:11 am

Tall Tyrion wrote:
I've never seen that Manson one. Classic! lol!

Quote :
Provocative acts by Manson–including dismembering a chicken, bathing in pig's blood, and wearing a three-piece suit of human noses–failed to arouse anyone's ire, instead prompting comments such as "sophomoric," "trite," and "so Alice Cooper."

Laughing very hard

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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeWed Jul 09, 2008 1:16 pm

There's one, if I remember correctly, about ICP having to get a ride to one of their own concerts by Violent Js mother or something. Pretty funny.
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeWed Jul 09, 2008 1:57 pm

Eyesore wrote:
There's one, if I remember correctly, about ICP having to get a ride to one of their own concerts by Violent Js mother or something. Pretty funny.

Yea, I remember that one... will have to look for the link!

*EDIT* Here it is... that was easy
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29421

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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeWed Jul 09, 2008 1:58 pm

The ICP story:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29421
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeWed Jul 09, 2008 1:59 pm

spectrefate wrote:
The ICP story:

Beat ya to it. Laughing

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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeWed Jul 09, 2008 7:04 pm

Tall Tyrion wrote:
Here are some other classic Onion rock 'n' roll pieces:

ZZ Top Grants Clinton Keys To Magic Hot Rod:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30144

Rest Of U2 Perfectly Fine With Africans Starving
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43192

Unreleased Jimmy Page Guitar Riff To Be Retrieved From Secret Vault To Save Rock And Roll
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/unreleased_jimmy_page_guitar_riff

lol...those are great. they all are
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeWed Jul 09, 2008 9:57 pm

Dude that Secret Jimmy Page Riff article kicked ass

"Members of the Protectorate were each given only partial information about the location of the vault, which they were instructed to open in unison only in the event of a total Rockopalypse. While some believed the vault was buried in Boston, Chicago, Kansas, Europe, or Asia, others claimed it could be found in the Court of the Crimson King."

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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeTue Jul 15, 2008 12:12 pm

Fat Freddy wrote:
Tall Tyrion wrote:
I love the Onion. I almost peed my pants when I was on vacation in Wisconson and saw they had a print version. Great stuff.

I still have a few copies of the print version in a drawer somewhere from when I visited my buddy in Wisconsin about ten years ago. That was where I first discovered it. I loved it so much that for a while he was sending me occasional packages with a bunch of Onion issues in it.

Once it went online he said "OK, now you can read it on the Net, you don't need me anymore."

I too miss Herbert (Tha H-Dog) Kornfeld!! I'll mourn ya till I join ya, brutha!

I was in Chicago last week at an outdoor cafe and some dude (homeless guy?) walked up to our group and handed us copies of The Onion, then asked for donations. I gave him a buck. Money well spent, in my opinion. Funny stuff.
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeTue Jul 15, 2008 12:17 pm

MetalGuy71 wrote:
Fat Freddy wrote:
Tall Tyrion wrote:
I love the Onion. I almost peed my pants when I was on vacation in Wisconson and saw they had a print version. Great stuff.

I still have a few copies of the print version in a drawer somewhere from when I visited my buddy in Wisconsin about ten years ago. That was where I first discovered it. I loved it so much that for a while he was sending me occasional packages with a bunch of Onion issues in it.

Once it went online he said "OK, now you can read it on the Net, you don't need me anymore."

I too miss Herbert (Tha H-Dog) Kornfeld!! I'll mourn ya till I join ya, brutha!

I was in Chicago last week at an outdoor cafe and some dude (homeless guy?) walked up to our group and handed us copies of The Onion, then asked for donations. I gave him a buck. Money well spent, in my opinion. Funny stuff.

About time you showed back up.
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeTue Jul 15, 2008 12:22 pm

After spending time in the Windy City, I had to play the role of best man for my brother's wedding, then my kids were sick, which led to me being sick. But I'm back now with a vengeance, ready to throw in my 2 cents, stupid remarks and pointless stories, all in an effort to avoid real work till my next vacation.
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Tall Tyrion
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeTue Jul 15, 2008 12:41 pm

Fly the flag of metalhead mediocrity HIGH, brother!! 🤘
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PostSubject: Re: Aerosmith story in "The Onion"   Aerosmith story in "The Onion" Icon_minitimeTue Jul 15, 2008 2:49 pm

lol thats quite funny. bad company being outsourced to China
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