No Honey, not tonight

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....

if that is a true story, your relationship has some serious issues.

good laugh

Quote :

if that is a true story, your relationship has some serious issues

Merely a joke, my friend.

Classic! LOL!

Ahahahaha, that's genius.

Arttie

HAHA!!
Showed your thread to my wife,
wonder what this night will bring???

I bet that guy sleeps on the couch too, haha... thats funny.

Nice.Nice. Thank GAWD I'm still young and don't have to deal with stuff like that if it ever happens.

LOL!

simply brilliant ....

I'm reminded of a friend of mine whose wife kept complaining of having a "headache" when he wanted sex.

One night, before they retired, he preemptively offered her some aspirin. She gave him a puzzled look, and said, "What's THAT for? I don't have a headache..."

He smiled, dropped trou, and said, "Gotcha!"


)+(

^^^

juanmiguel wrote:

Nice.Nice. Thank GAWD I'm still young and don't have to deal with stuff like that if it ever happens.

Just so you know, not every wife is like that...

Ha ha that was awesome I gotta use that sometime!

Classic indeed!

Wargod48

NP: Meliah Rage - Deep And Dreamless Sleep

man i bet he got a kick in the balls!!

Man I just saw this and had to laugh my arse off, I really hate to bring this thread up again if you still not with her SideShow but that was CLASSIC!

that was hilarious Ben