Worst Lyrics ever...?

Fools. They've never had their pie "Kojak".

SpectreFate wrote:

Another from our good friends in Anvil.

"Hair Pie"

Dessert is my favourite meal, I eat it every day
A dietary supplement that's certain to stay
It's my favourite recipe and it's easy to follow
Can't wait to get a mouthful, bite down and swallow

It's got the flavour that can't be beat
It's a mans treat
Knee high in hair pie
Knee high in hair pie

A little bit of this and a little bit of that
Connoisseurs dessert is eaten on your back
Add a little honey, maybe some whipped cream
Do it with a friend if you know what I mean

Knee high in hair pie
Knee high in hair pie

Put the batter in the bowl, then begin to stir
Bring it to a lather if you want to be sure
The flavour of this delicacy really can't be beat
It's a man's meal that's more than just a treat

It's got the taste that can't be beat
More than a mans treat
Knee high in hair pie

Now i'm starting to see why they never "made it".

Spinning the Britny Fox debut this AM. Granted, I don't expect deep, insightful lyrical wisdom from this band, but the lyrics to their song "Rock Revolution" are so lame that I just roll my eyes...

"Some people got a chip on their shoulder 'bout rock and roll music
They put us right aside, cause their (sic) one track minds (??)
They say we're loud and violent for this joke of a system
Yet they air shows about death, rape and fighting too.
Cause it's a rock and roll revolution, rock revolution
Rock and roll revolution, Rock is gonna fight!"

Uhhhh... yeah. That sure makes me wanna rise up and rock out against this joke of a system... or something.

Most songs by John Fogerty while in CCR. Even his most loyal fans can not decipher what he is singing about, LOL.

Yet most songs sound good and are fun to try to sing along with.

Since I can't post these lyrics without some censoring:
http://www.lyricsmania.com/lesbian_stool_orgy_lyrics_gorgasm.html

I usually never really care for the lyrics, unless they're mature and inspiring.

Almost any lyrics from Annihilator.

Gilbert wrote:

I usually never really care for the lyrics, unless they're mature and inspiring.

+1

My vote would go to Vengeance Rising "Mulligan Stew". LAME!

Vengeance Rising "Mulligan Stew"


Friday night is coming so you're saving all your money
Cause you need to buy some buds and some beer
You won't be doin nothing cause you spent up all your money
So you smoke until you choke and drink your beer all alone

You drank up all your beer and you're feeling fine
You look up at the clock, it's only quarter till nine
So you woof a bunch of munchies cause there's nothing to do
But when you find they don't mix, you're chunkin' mulligans stew

Now you're moving up
Smoking major league base balls
Your price is getting higher each hit
The night keeps getting longer, a couple hits will make you stronger
So ya smoke another 8-ball and get deeper in debt

You've got this young blonde
Who's as thin as a dime
She's inhaling all your blow and leaving nothing behind
As your debt keeps coming with the rising sun
When you look for what you want you know that she'll be gone
(You got it)

Jesus Christ is coming
So we've got to get ready
For broad is the road to death
Jesus hasn't come to call the righteous (but the sinners)
For all have fallen short of the glory of God

My personal favourite for 'lyrics written by a grown adult that could have been written by a 9 year old' is still rapper Nelly: "It's gettin hot in here, so take off all your clothes".



It makes Anvil look like Shakespeare!

oldschooldoom wrote:

Vengeance Rising "Mulligan Stew"


Friday night is coming so you're saving all your money
Cause you need to buy some buds and some beer
You won't be doin nothing cause you spent up all your money
So you smoke until you choke and drink your beer all alone

You drank up all your beer and you're feeling fine
You look up at the clock, it's only quarter till nine
So you woof a bunch of munchies cause there's nothing to do
But when you find they don't mix, you're chunkin' mulligans stew

Now you're moving up
Smoking major league base balls
Your price is getting higher each hit
The night keeps getting longer, a couple hits will make you stronger
So ya smoke another 8-ball and get deeper in debt

You've got this young blonde
Who's as thin as a dime
She's inhaling all your blow and leaving nothing behind
As your debt keeps coming with the rising sun
When you look for what you want you know that she'll be gone
(You got it)

Jesus Christ is coming
So we've got to get ready
For broad is the road to death
Jesus hasn't come to call the righteous (but the sinners)
For all have fallen short of the glory of God

Man that was major suckage!!!

Yes, Anvil has some really weird, pornographic lyrics. I've always thought that those pre-teen-pubescent lyrics held them back. No one wants to hear at 40-something guy singing about spewing on the back of a girl ("Backwaxed") or singing about how much he enjoys jerking off ('5 Knuckled Shuffle").


5 Knuckle Shuffle
Hand to the gland and I don't care
There ain't no secret I won't bare
Hey!
All I wanna do is beat my meat
Shakin' steak, what a treat
Stroke it, stroke it really hard
I wanna watch it blow a yard
Palm sister date what you got
Wank your willie, hit the spot

5 knuckle shuffle in the shower with the soap
Chokin' the chicken ain't no joke
5 knuckle shuffle in the shower with the soap
5 knuckle shuffle I got nothin' to poke

Rattle my snake most every night
I wanna woman to do it right
Stroke it, stroke it just for fun
Stroke it, stroke it till I cum
All I wanna do is shake my stick
Pullin' my pecker really does the trick

5 knuckle shuffle in the shower with the soap
Chokin' the chicken ain't no joke
5 knuckle shuffle in the shower with the soap
All I wanna do is give it a stroke
5 knuckle shuffle in the shower with the soap

5 knuckle shuffle I got nothin' to poke
Nothin' to poke
That's right!

Don't you worry when you spank the chimp
It don't mean that you're a wimp
Stroke it, stroke it all night long
Stroke it, stroke it ding my dong
Palm sister date what you got
Shine your shilaylly, don't get caught

5 knuckle shuffle in the shower with the soap
Chokin' the chicken ain't no joke
5 knuckle shuffle in the shower with the soap
All I wanna do is give it a stroke
5 knuckle shuffle in the shower with the soap
Chokin' the chicken ain't no joke
5 knuckle shuffle in the shower with the soap
5 knuckle shuffle I got nothin' to pok

Immature as it might be, I've seen Anvil perform "Five Knuckle Shuffle" live and it brought the house down. Freakin' hilarious.

Guns N Roses "Used To Love Her" is FAr worse lyrically then anything Anvil ever wrote IMO Though I will readily admit that 5 Knuckle Shuffle is pretty stupid as is Smokin Green, but some other songs on that album, like Racial Hostility, Destined For Doom and Guilty are pretty good lyrically.

I know many people dig em, and though I am not saying good or bad, I think System of A Down has plenty of songs that have dumb lyrics.

No band has worse lyrics then Maroon 5.

Chairman_Smith wrote:

scottmitchell74 wrote:

Anal C*nt has the worst I've seen both from a nonsense standpoint and their attempt at shock.....

Worst bandname as well.

Nope. These guys

LOL!!!

"No need to cook, I picked up fast food on the way
And it's finger-licking good"

Really, Arjen? Really?