TODAY I WATCHED... (Movies, TV, etc.) 2023

A bunch of "Dethklok: Metalocalypse" (I think that's how it's spelled?) with my son. I've seen bits & pieces of that show before but this was the first time I'd seen a full show. Pretty funny stuff.

A guy on YouTube has put up both seasons of the short lived "Dilbert" animated series from the late 90s in one huge twelve-hour video, so I've been watching that in bits and pieces over the past couple of days.



(fun fact: the "Dilbert" theme music was composed by Danny Elfman of Oingo Boingo fame, who also composed the Simpsons' theme as well as numerous movie scores for Tim Burton.)

Monday Night Raw
NXT

The latest episode of Secret Invasion

"Dirty Work" (1998)

Two losers (Norm Macdonald and Artie Lange) turn their talent for pulling pranks and creating mayhem into a successful "revenge for hire" business, but they soon need to get even themselves when they're screwed over by a crooked real-estate magnate.
Norm's at his snarky best in this mean-spirited comedy directed by Bob Saget (!), and featuring cameos by Adam Sandler, Gary Coleman, Don Rickles, and more. Funny stuff!

Such Hawks,Such Hounds. A documentary about the stoner/doom rock underground.

"Ape Vs. Mecha-Ape" (2023)

The Asylum's at it again with a sequel to "Ape Vs. Monster." Following the events of the last movie, the giant ape "Abraham" has been living peacefully on a remote nature preserve. Meanwhile, the U.S. Government, for some reason, has created a giant robotic duplicate of him called "Mecha-Ape." When foreign terrorists take control of the mechanical monkey, the good guys have to unleash the real deal in order to save Chicago from a nuclear meltdown.
Silly junk, but it's at least superior to the first "Ape" flick. The first half is mostly dull, talky techno-babble BS, but once the title creatures finally started throwin' down my inner 8 year old was satisfied. The CGI is better than average for Asylum, and in the "slumming celebrity" department, Tom Arnold is good for a few chuckles as he picks up a quick paycheck playing the Secretary of Defense. Not the best Asylum film I've seen, but thankfully far from the worst.

"Hamburger: The Motion Picture" (1986)

Studly academic wash-out Russell (Leigh McCloskey of "Just One Of The Guys") won't receive his $250,000 inheritance unless he obtains a college degree, but pretty girls keep getting him in trouble everywhere he goes (I wish I had that problem...).
As a last ditch attempt, he signs up for Buster Burger University, the training program for a fast food chain, leading to lots of wacky hi-jinks involving food, sex, casual racism, flatulence, and endless burger-related puns.
This dumb-as-hell, but funny-as-hell moron comedy was an HBO staple back in the day and it still appeals to my inner 13 year old after all these years.

Fat Freddy wrote:

"Hamburger: The Motion Picture" (1986)

Studly academic wash-out Russell (Leigh McCloskey of "Just One Of The Guys") won't receive his $250,000 inheritance unless he obtains a college degree, but pretty girls keep getting him in trouble everywhere he goes (I wish I had that problem...).
As a last ditch attempt, he signs up for Buster Burger University, the training program for a fast food chain, leading to lots of wacky hi-jinks involving food, sex, casual racism, flatulence, and endless burger-related puns.
This dumb-as-hell, but funny-as-hell moron comedy was an HBO staple back in the day and it still appeals to my inner 13 year old after all these years.

You need to follow that up with Hot Dog : The Movie.

Ampire : The Sound Of Music.

007 wrote:

You need to follow that up with Hot Dog : The Movie.

Hah! Yeah, and then complete the trifecta with 'Fast Food' starring Jim Varney and Traci Lords.

"Death Race 2000" (1975)

In a dystopian future America, the biggest sporting event of the year is the Death Race - a cross country road rally in which drivers score points by running over innocent pedestrians. The current champion, "Frankenstein" (David Carradine) must defend his title against a new lineup of racers (including Mary "Rock N Roll High School" Woronov and a pre-"Rocky" Sylvester Stallone) and also deal with a resistance movement that wants to sabotage the race.
Paul Bartel's tongue-in-cheek sci-fi cult classic is still loads of sadistic fun.

Fat Freddy wrote:

"Dirty Work" (1998)

Two losers (Norm Macdonald and Artie Lange) turn their talent for pulling pranks and creating mayhem into a successful "revenge for hire" business, but they soon need to get even themselves when they're screwed over by a crooked real-estate magnate.
Norm's at his snarky best in this mean-spirited comedy directed by Bob Saget (!), and featuring cameos by Adam Sandler, Gary Coleman, Don Rickles, and more. Funny stuff!

One of the best comedies of the 1990s!

"Heavy Trip" (2019)

A dorky small-time metal band from a tiny Finnish village embarks on a chaos-filled road trip to play their first-ever gig at a festival in Norway. Wacky hi-jinks ensue.
A very funny Finnish comedy that pokes affectionate fun at metalhead stereotypes, but in a respectful way. Fun stuff as long as you don't mind sub-titles.

"Final Score" (2018)

A former American soldier (Dave "Guardians of the Galaxy" Bautista) arrives in London for a holiday and to take his niece to a championship football (aka "soccer" to us Yanks) match. However, a squadron of Russian terrorists led by the late Ray Stevenson ("Punisher: War Zone") locks the stadium down and takes the entire crowd hostage to demand the release of a political prisoner, and naturally Dave is the only one who can put a stop to the bad guys' shenanigans.
...so yeah, essentially this is a British spin on the classic "Die Hard" formula, but even though we've already seen this movie dozens of times, the action sequences are well staged and it was nice to see former 007 Pierce Brosnan in a small but pivotal role. Worth a look for action junkies.

"The Ice Pirates" (1984)

In a drought-stricken future, Robert Urich leads a band of space pirates on a quest for a planet overflowing with the universe's most valuable resource - water. Along the way he romances a princess, has a bunch of fights and space battles, and faces the dreaded Space Herpe.
...before "Spaceballs," we had this cheap, cheesy sci-fi action spoof (which reportedly began as a legit, serious sci-fi movie, before it had its budget slashed and was re-written as a comedy) that never really gets into gear. The cast seems to be really trying, but the story is a muddle, the sets are cardboard, the special effects suck, and the laughs are few and far between. You can safely skip this turkey.

The latest episode of Secret Invasion

"Chuck Jones: Extremes And Inbetweens, a Life In Animation" (2000)

An entertaining, in-depth documentary from PBS' "American Masters" series on the life and career of legendary animator Chuck Jones, whose fifty-plus years of cartooning earned him four Oscars and a legion of fans that includes Steven Spielberg, John (Pixar) Lasseter, Robin Williams, Ken Burns, Joe "Gremlins" Dante, Roger Ebert, Whoopi Goldberg, Matt Groening, and more - all of whom pay tribute to the master in this doc, accompanied by tons of vintage photos and clips of his work with Looney Tunes, Tom & Jerry, the Grinch, and more. A fun trip down memory lane for classic cartoon nerds.

Fat Freddy wrote:

"The Ice Pirates" (1984)

In a drought-stricken future, Robert Urich leads a band of space pirates on a quest for a planet overflowing with the universe's most valuable resource - water. Along the way he romances a princess, has a bunch of fights and space battles, and faces the dreaded Space Herpe.
...before "Spaceballs," we had this cheap, cheesy sci-fi action spoof (which reportedly began as a legit, serious sci-fi movie, before it had its budget slashed and was re-written as a comedy) that never really gets into gear. The cast seems to be really trying, but the story is a muddle, the sets are cardboard, the special effects suck, and the laughs are few and far between. You can safely skip this turkey.

I actually saw that in the theater.

"Wanted Dead Or Alive" (1987)

A former CIA agent turned bounty hunter (Rutger Hauer) is called back to active duty to help capture a terrorist bomber (Gene Simmons) who's planning a massive attack on Los Angeles.
Pretty standard 80s action stuff, arguably Gene's best movie. Apparently this is considered a spiritual sequel to a 1950s Western TV series that starred Steve McQueen (Hauer's character is supposed to be a descendent of McQueen character).

Kingdom Of The Spiders (1977)



A swarm of tarantulas begin to overtake a small Arizonan town after the use of pesticides eliminates their normal prey. William Shatner stars as a local veterinarian trying to deal with the situation with the help of a visiting entomologist. One of the more memorable "nature strikes back" films, probably because of Shatner's involvement. I know I enjoyed it.

"Rampage" (2018)

A space-station explosion causes some experimental bio-material to crash to earth, where it has unusual effects on three different animals - a gorilla in a zoo, an alligator, and a wolf, all of whom grow to enormous size and converge on Chicago to start smashin' stuff up. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is the gorilla's keeper, who has to try to save his primate friend and stop the giant critters.
Loosely based on the cartoony giant-monster arcade game from the late 80s, this is a decent creature feature, fast moving with plenty of property destruction. It's no masterpiece but it kept my inner 8 year old entertained.

The Hole(2009)-a family moves into a new home and soon the kids discover a seemingly bottomless pit or hole behind a hidden door in the basement. The hole, as it turns out, has a dark power that causes some ones greatest fear to come to life and terrorize them. It's up to the kids to try to stop the hole before it's too late. Decent little horror/fantasy flick from director Joe Dante(Gremlins, The Howling). As it's a PG-13 film, there's not much red stuff on the screen, but there is a couple of creepy moments at least. It turns out that this film was released in theaters in 3-D, but I watched the basic 2-D version sadly.2/5

The penultimate episode of Secret Invasion

"Murder In The Front Row" (2019)

This was my 3rd or 4th viewing of this tons o' fun documentary on the fabled Bay Area Thrash Metal scene of the 80s. If you still haven't seen it yet (and if you haven't, shame on you!), it's streaming on Tubi, which is free.