TODAY I WATCHED... (Movies. TV) 2022

Monday Night Raw

"Doctor Strange In The Multiverse of Madness" (2022)

Marvel's sorcerous hero returns for his second solo adventure, battling against a souped-up, seriously pissed off Wanda Maximoff, aka The Scarlet Witch, who wants to capture a young girl with the ability to "hop" between various universes -- which could have disastrous consequences for all the realities. As usual, there's tons of action and eye popping, reality bending special effects. Sam Raimi (of "Evil Dead" and "Spider-Man" fame) was the perfect choice to direct, given his background in horror/supernatural flicks. Creepy-cool popcorn fun!

Species: The Awakening(2007)-The fourth and last(so far) installment in the Species series. This one features a young, sexy college professor who is living with her uncle, her only relative. She becomes sick and is taken to a hospital where she undergoes a transformation, killing many of the staff. Knowing of only one person who might be able to help her, they travel to Mexico to find him. Along the way, he opens up to her and confesses that he is not her uncle and she was created in a lab years earlier, crossing human DNA with aliens. The man is a former student of his who tells him that the alien part of her is aging and that only using donor hormones will save her. He has also been creating other alien hybrids of his own, including one that he uses as his girlfriend. The uncle is conflicted about this, but will do whatever it takes to save her. A pretty decent film in the series which contains what you would expect from one of these including hot nudity, gore and alien mayhem. If your a fan of the series, you should find this one worth watching. 2.5/5

The Right To Rock. A documentary about the early 70's all girl band Fanny.

American Horror Stories

She-Hulk : Attorney At Law

"The Retaliator" (aka "Programmed To Kill," 1987)

A female terrorist (Sandahl Bergman) is seriously wounded during her capture by the CIA. Scientists turn what's left of her into a powerful cyborg that they can control, and send her out to destroy the rest of her comrades. Of course, she eventually shakes off the re-programming and starts going after the men who created her instead. Pretty typical '80s low budget action stuff with a heavy "Terminator" influence, starring Robert "The Exterminator" Ginty as the operative assigned to stop her, and supposedly a pre-teen Paul "Fast & Furious" Walker has a bit part (though I didn't notice him).  Not terrible but not a must-see.

House Of The Dragon

“Best Worst Movie”.

A documentary on the notoriously bad film “Troll 2”.

^^ That was a fun documentary. Almost made me want to re-visit "Troll 2." Notice I said "almost."

"Morbius" (2022)

A brilliant scientist who's dying of an incurable blood disease finally discovers a cure for his condition... but it grants him unexpected, vampiric abilities that require him to drink blood to keep the symptoms from returning. As the Doc attempts to figure out how to undo the side effect, another less scrupulous sufferer takes the "cure" and he has no problems with killing innocents to keep his disease at bay.
I wasn't expecting much from this mediocre "Spider-Man" spinoff, which tanked at the box office earlier this year. Jared Leto's performance as Morbius is fine and the special effects are decent, but the villain is kinda lame. Take away the Marvel branding, and this isn't much different from any other generic horror/action flick like "Underworld" or "Resident Evil." Watchable, but forgettable.

Clerks

Monkey Shines (1988)



An athlete who becomes a quadriplegic after being struck by a car, develops a bond with a service monkey, who becomes murderous after being experimented on with a serum containing human brain tissue, in the hopes of increasing it's intelligence. The bond becomes deeper between the 2, to the point of a sort of psychic symbiosis and the monkey soon starts acting out the paralyzed man's dark impulses. A good psychological thriller written and directed by George Romero with a rather interesting cast.

House Of The Dragon

Piranha 3D(2010)-lots of big boobs, blood and little fish with big teeth. Decent mindless entertainment.2/5

Re-watched the 2 part A&E "KISSTORY" documentary, which is now streaming on Hulu, yesterday. Obviously there's nothing in it that long time fans don't already know but it's still a fun watch.

Cemetery Of Terror (1985)



On Halloween, as a prank, a group of medical students steal the corpse of a recently killed devil worshipping serial killer and attempt to reanimate him in a cemetery using his book of the occult. Thinking it's failed, they enter an abandoned house on the cemetery grounds to party, unaware that the spell did work and the killer is now after them to retrieve his book. Meanwhile, a group of younger kids enter the cemetery on a dare. There's a lot going on in this Mexican import, coming across as an amalgamation of Halloween, the Evil Dead, and Night of The Living Dead. Starring Hugo Stiglitz (who appeared in plenty of these foriegn horror films of the era) as the Dr. Loomis character.

Clerks III

She-Hulk : Attorney At Law

"The Witch" (2015)

Cast out of their village, a Puritan family sets up shop on a secluded plot near a forest. Soon they begin to suffer a series of tragic events that appear to be supernatural in nature.
This slow-burning period piece set in 1600s New England has atmosphere to spare, and Anya Taylor-Joy is great as the teenaged Pilgrim girl who seems to be at the center of the creepy goings-on. It was a bit hard to follow at first till I got the hang of the Olde Timey English (lots of "thee's" and "thou's") but once the weird shit started happening I was hooked. Worth checking out if you're in the mood for something off-beat.

I really enjoyed The Witch.  Saw it when it released in a little arthouse cinema in the heart of Adelaide that specializes in independent film.

Robert Eggers hasn't made a bad movie yet, in my opinion.  You can pretty much count on some weird shit going down in his films.

Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story (2022)

Netflix docu-series chronicling the story of one of the most notorious serial killers in United States history. A very interesting show.

"Dogma" (1999)

Two fallen angels, exiled to Earth millennia ago, have discovered a loophole in God's law that will allow them to get back into Heaven. If they succeed, however, it will destroy all of existence. The Lord assembles a team consisting of one lapsed Catholic, two stoners (Jay and Silent Bob!) and a forgotten apostle, to stop it from happening.

This religious satire/fantasy is still Kevin "Clerks" Smith's most elaborate movie to date, featuring his usual hilarious, rapid-fire dialogue, tasteless sight gags, an absolutely amazing cast (Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Chris Rock, Alan Rickman, Salma Hayek, Linda Fiorentino, George Carlin) and enough plot for three movies. Controversial when it was first released, it's become a cult item and an important piece of Smith's View Askew-niverse.

Unfortunately it's also something of a "lost" film, not available on DVD/Blu or via streaming, because the rights are owned by the currently-in-prison Harvey Weinstein. Smith's numerous attempts to buy the movie back from him have been turned down. So if you find a copy second hand, grab it because it's becoming a collector's item!

House Of The Dragon

"Mayhem" (2017)

Steven "The Walking Dead" Yeun is a mid-level employee at a shady law firm, who's just been unjustly fired... but before he can leave the premises, the CDC arrives and seals off the office building due to the presence of a "rage virus." As his former co-workers slowly turn into violent lunatics, Yeun figures he can take advantage of the chaos to get even with the higher-ups who screwed him over, with help from fellow vengeance seeker Samara "Ready Or Not" Weaving. This hilariously brutal, ultra violent, funny as hell horror/action comedy is total wish fulfillment for everyone who's ever had a soul-sucking office drone job. I mean, c'mon, who hasn't wanted to beat the crap out of their boss at least once?

Goodnight Mommy (2022)



Twin brothers are dropped off at their mother's remote home to find her with a bandaged face and a changed demeanor, and soon suspect that she may not be their real mother. Soon, they're plotting of ways to find her true identity and get out of the house.A remake of a German film with the same title, this psychological thriller keeps you entertained even though it has a twist that you can figure out if you're paying close attention.

The Tooth Fairy(2006)-a writer turns an old house into a bed and breakfast. The house turns out to have been years earlier the home of a deformed witch who would kill children and keep a tooth of her victims. The new renovations to the house has awaken her spirit and has her sights set on his girlfriend's daughter has her latest victim. Kind of average direct to DVD horror, nothing very special. Totally a take or leave type of film. 2/5