TODAY I WATCHED... (Movies, TV) 2021

"Tomorrow Never Dies" (1997)

Pierce Brosnan's second turn as 007 takes him to Germany and the Orient, where a crazed multi-media magnate is trying to start a war between England and China, which will be great for his network's ratings. Hong Kong action star Michelle Yeoh (making what I believe was her first appearance in a Western film) co-stars as a butt kicking Chinese agent providing backup for Bond. Not quite as good as the preceding "Goldeneye," but still a pretty damn solid action flick.

Last night I watched the first two episodes of an Amazon series called "American Playboy: The Hugh Hefner Story," which uses a mix of archive interviews/video and re-enactments to tell the story of how Hef turned a crazy idea for a men's magazine into a worldwide empire, becoming a cultural icon in the process. Cool stuff so far.

My turn for "Krampus" tonight. I think I enjoy this one more each time I see it. This time I was paying more attention to the "elves"; a bunch of them are "mini-Krampuses".

Vannin'. A documentary about people into old vans and their annual get together.

War on Christmas continued...

"The Hebrew Hammer" (2003)

A crazed new Santa (Andy Dick, coked to the gills as usual) takes over operations at the North Pole and plans to wipe Hanukkah off the holiday calendar. Mordechai Jefferson Carver, aka "The Hebrew Hammer" (Adam Goldberg), a super-cool certified Kosher bad-ass and protector of all things Jewish, is the only man who can stop him.
A low budget, but very funny action comedy in the "Austin Powers" or "Undercover Brother" vein; Goldberg is a hoot as the heroic Hammer (who's kinda like a Jewish "Shaft"). I'm pretty sure this is the only time you'll ever hear a gun toting movie hero say, "Shabbat Shalom, motherf***ers!"

Marvel's Hawkeye episode 4

"Alien Domicile" (2017)

Four people awake in a room in some kind of government bunker, with no memory of how they got there. As they begin to explore the complex, they encounter some nasty alien life forms who've overrun the facility. Yes, thats the entire plot.
I got this DVD from the dollar store so obviously I wasn't expecting Shakespeare, but this movie couldn't even cough up a coherent story. Who are these people? Who locked them away, and why? Where did the aliens come from? Your guess is as good as mine, because absolutely nothing is explained. Basically the characters endlessly bicker and fight till they get killed one by one (off screen, cuz the movie doesn't have the budget for any gore). The movie run time was less than 90 minutes, but it felt like hours.
Do I even need to say it? AVOID!

"Planet Dune" (2021)

A space rescue team arrives on a desert planet to search for survivors of a crash, but the mission is complicated by the presence of numerous massive, man-eating worms that live under the sand.
In case it's not immediately obvious, this was the Asylum's knock off of the big budget adaptation of "Dune," though plot wise it more closely resembles a "Tremors" movie set in outer space. As Asylum movies go, this one was slightly better than average, but of course that's still a long way from being "good."

"Deadpool 2" (2018)

The wise cracking, ass kicking mercenary (Ryan Reynolds) assembles a team to help him tangle with Cable, a bounty hunter from the future, and to stop a troubled teem mutant before he develops into a full-on super villain. Hilariously over the top, ultra violent action comedy drops almost as many F bombs as it does bullets. A total hoot.

Anna And The Apocalypse

What a mashup of genres this is! Zombie apocalypse, teenage coming of age, musical, comedy...and all at Christmas! While the actual story has been done a million times and is totally unoriginal, the presentation in a musical context with likeable lead actors and some actual characterization and the Christmas setting make this a holiday winner and it will show up on the Toho Christmas horror viewing list for years to come.

^^ yeah, that was a fun one, I saw it last year.

Dunno if you were ever a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" fan but "Anna" reminded me very much of the famed "Buffy" musical episode, "Once More With Feeling."

I haven't been watching many movies lately, been revisiting all the old Christmas specials like Charlie Brown, Frosty, Rudolph, etc. instead. I even dug out my DVD of the Jim Henson special "Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas" ("RIVER BOTTOM NIGHTMARE BAAAAAAND!"), which I haven't watched since the kids were small.

Lest y'all think I've gone all fuzzy-wuzzy this year, I did pick up the widely-hated 2019 "reboot" of "Black Christmas" from the library yesterday, so that will probably be tonight's "War on Christmas" viewing.

Venom; Let There Be Carnage (2021)



Everyone's favorite symbiote returns for another go around against a fellow symbiote calling itself Carnage (technically Venom's offspring). This new symbiote is far more dangerous since it is linked with psychopath Cletus Kasady (Woody Harrelson). Lots of cgi infused battles occur. Not a bad film but I think the first one was better. Stick around for a pretty cool post credit scene.

Good lord, there's so many damn comic book movie released in the last few years I can't keep track of them!

Fat Freddy wrote:

^^ yeah, that was a fun one, I saw it last year.

Dunno if you were ever a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" fan but "Anna" reminded me very much of the famed "Buffy" musical episode, "Once More With Feeling."

I haven't been watching many movies lately, been revisiting all the old Christmas specials like Charlie Brown, Frosty, Rudolph, etc. instead. I even dug out my DVD of the Jim Henson special "Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas" ("RIVER BOTTOM NIGHTMARE BAAAAAAND!"), which I haven't watched since the kids were small.

Lest y'all think I've gone all fuzzy-wuzzy this year, I did pick up the widely-hated 2019 "reboot" of "Black Christmas" from the library yesterday, so that will probably be tonight's "War on Christmas" viewing.

Damn, I used to love Emmett Otter, that was probably my favorite kids movie when I was growing up. Haven't seen it in decades, might have to find a copy of it for myself.

Wrecked Neck wrote:

Damn, I used to love Emmett Otter, that was probably my favorite kids movie when I was growing up. Haven't seen it in decades, might have to find a copy of it for myself.

Hell yeah. Emmett Otter was a fave when my brother and I were kids, so we bought the DVD years ago when my kids were small, and they loved it too.

My youngest (who's now 14) watched it with me the other night, he hadn't seen it since he was a young'un, and he was like "this is so cool!"
... he thought the Riverbottom Nightmare Band totally deserved to win that talent contest, which I've been saying for years. Hey, they brought a light show and everything!

War on Christmas, continued....

"Black Christmas" (2019)

A group of sorority sisters' long simmering feud with a rival fraternity boils over into murder and mayhem as their college campus closes down for Christmas break.
...this "reboot" of Bob Clark's 70s Yuletide slasher classic doesn't have much in common with the original (or the 2006 remake) aside from the title and the Christmas time college setting.
This might have worked as a horrific satire of "Me too" and 21st century "woke" attitudes, but I don't care about any of that crap --  I just wanted to see some Christmas related carnage, and this film delivers very little of that, due to the dreaded PG13 rating. It wastes SO much time on set up that by the time the violence finally started kickin' in around the three quarter mark, I was so bored that I didn't even care anymore.
Final rating: AVOID. Watch the '74 or '06 versions instead.

Flying V. A special on the history of the Flying V guitar. And a look at some of the players of this guitar style.

Hawkeye episode 5. This has been a very good series.

Fat Freddy wrote:

War on Christmas, continued....

"Black Christmas" (2019)

A group of sorority sisters' long simmering feud with a rival fraternity boils over into murder and mayhem as their college campus closes down for Christmas break.
...this "reboot" of Bob Clark's 70s Yuletide slasher classic doesn't have much in common with the original (or the 2006 remake) aside from the title and the Christmas time college setting.
This might have worked as a horrific satire of "Me too" and 21st century "woke" attitudes, but I don't care about any of that crap --  I just wanted to see some Christmas related carnage, and this film delivers very little of that, due to the dreaded PG13 rating. It wastes SO much time on set up that by the time the violence finally started kickin' in around the three quarter mark, I was so bored that I didn't even care anymore.
Final rating: AVOID. Watch the '74 or '06 versions instead.

That version is PG13????  Good lord, then of course it's padded with lots of boring crap.  I have the unrated version of the 2006 remake and you'd have to probably cut about 5 minutes out of that just to pull an R rating.  To make it PG the damn thing would be about 20 minutes long.

I like your idea about making it a political satire though, I like that idea a lot because there are a lot of potential angles that could be exploited.

tohostudios wrote:

That version is PG13????  Good lord, then of course it's padded with lots of boring crap.  I have the unrated version of the 2006 remake and you'd have to probably cut about 5 minutes out of that just to pull an R rating.  To make it PG the damn thing would be about 20 minutes long.

I like your idea about making it a political satire though, I like that idea a lot because there are a lot of potential angles that could be exploited.

It might have worked if it had been played for satire, but apparently the director thought she was making a "statement" about gender politics, not a horror film.

The IMDb page sez she went PG-13 in the hopes that more teen girls would go see it, because she felt it would be an inspiring "female empowerment" story for them, or some such nonsense.

Basically the whole "message" of the movie is "Girls are good, men are evil," and it's delivered with all the subtlety of a sledge hammer to the forehead. When it's not dull, it's preachy. ("Look how our heroines are mistreated by every male character in this movie! Won't it be satisfying to see them get even, fellow women?") After a while I was rolling my eyes so much I hurt myself

I revisited the 2006 version a couple of weeks ago, I like that one best out of the three "Black Chrismases" (I have never been crazy about the '74 original, tho I do respect its place in slasher film history -- Carpenter borrowed A LOT from it when he made Halloween).  

I'll watch the '06 flick again any time but this one was just a lot of hot air.

"Jay and Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie" (2013)

A cheap cartoon adventure featuring the stoner duo from Kevin Smith's "View Askewniverse." Silent Bob buys a scratch-off ticket at the Quick Stop and wins $10 million. He and Jay spend the money on a bunch of cool gear and a hideout to become the weed-themed superhero team "Bluntman and Chronic," eventually tangling with an array of super villains with names like Dick Head, Newsgroup, and the Cocknocker.
The animation in this movie is absolutely terrible, but there are quite a few decent gags here, and with a run time of just a hair over an hour, it doesn't wear out its welcome. If it had been stretched out to feature length I think it would've become irritating.
Not Kevin Smith's best work by any means, but I'm a fanboy, so I will watch anything with J & SB in it. "Snoogans!"

Fat Freddy wrote:

War on Christmas, continued....

"Black Christmas" (2019)

A group of sorority sisters' long simmering feud with a rival fraternity boils over into murder and mayhem as their college campus closes down for Christmas break.
...this "reboot" of Bob Clark's 70s Yuletide slasher classic doesn't have much in common with the original (or the 2006 remake) aside from the title and the Christmas time college setting.
This might have worked as a horrific satire of "Me too" and 21st century "woke" attitudes, but I don't care about any of that crap --  I just wanted to see some Christmas related carnage, and this film delivers very little of that, due to the dreaded PG13 rating. It wastes SO much time on set up that by the time the violence finally started kickin' in around the three quarter mark, I was so bored that I didn't even care anymore.
Final rating: AVOID. Watch the '74 or '06 versions instead.

Easily one of the worst horror movies I can think of.

The 2006 Black Christmas wasn't a classic by any stretch, but it had infinitely better eye candy than this version did, and was a masterpiece compared to this.

Also, this version of Black Christmas may be the most misandrist movie that I can think of.

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)



After Mysterio sets up Spider-Man for his demise and gets his identity revealed in the previous Spider-Man movie, Peter Parker has to deal with the consequences and as things start impacting his family and friends, he turns to Dr. Strange for help in making everyone forget his identity. However, he causes Strange's spell to go awry and causes rifts in the multiverse. I went into this totally spoiler free and was greatly impressed with it. Awesome movie.

Where Eagles Dare (1968)



A crack team of Allied commandos (led by Richard Burton and including Clint Eastwood) are sent to the Bavarian Alps to rescue a captured American general from an isolated mountaintop castle accessible only by cable car. A great movie with twists, turns and double agents.

Cold, wet, dreary day outside - perfect for veggin' out and watchin' movies:

"It's a Wonderful Life" (1946, colorized version)

A depressed man (Jimmy Stewart) is planning to commit suicide on Christmas Eve - until his guardian angel appears to show him what life would be like for his friends and family if he'd never been born. Frank Capra's corny (in a good way) holiday classic was my late father's favorite Christmas film, and though I don't watch it every year like he used to, I still like to revisit it every now and then.

"The Shadow" (1994)

Alec Baldwin plays the pulp-magazine hero, a rich playboy by day and two fisted dark avenger by night in this cool period piece. Set in 1930s New York City, The Shadow must stop a descendent of Genghis Khan who has plans to pick up where his ancestor left off in the world-conquering business. Russell "Highlander" Mulcahy directed this action packed flick that's kinda like a mash up of "Batman" and "Indiana Jones," with great retro set designs and FX and a supporting cast that includes Sir Ian McKellan, Tim Curry, Penelope Anne Miller (hot!) and Jonathan Winters. Unfortunately, this film's poor box office performance kept the Shadow from becoming a franchise, which is a shame, cuz I would've liked to see more of 'em.

To All A Goodnight (1980)



A been there/seen that slasher about a group of girls staying at their finishing school during Christmas break to party with their boyfriends. However, a killer in a Santa suit seeks revenge on the girls for an accidental death that occurred 2 years prior. Comes across as a Silent Night,Deadly Night/Prom Night hybrid.

All-Day Movie Marathon continues:

"Super Duper Alice Cooper" (2014)

Sam Dunn of "Metal: A Headbanger's Journey" and "Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage" fame comes through with another cool hard rock doc, this time focusing on the long strange career of Alice Cooper. Lots of cool stories and vintage clips.

"Batman: The Long Halloween Part One" and "Part Two" (2021)

Epic length animated Batman tale based on the mid 90s graphic novel. In Part One, someone is killing off the major figures of Gotham's underworld. The killer only strikes on holidays, starting with Halloween. As Batman tries to figure out "Holiday's" identity, the killing spree draws out the Joker, who doesn't like having competition in the homicidal-maniac department. In Part Two, a few more super villains are added to the mix like the Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, and Two-Face. Both chapters are loaded with lots of cool animated ultra-violence. These are most definitely NOT kiddie cartoons!