TODAY I WATCHED... (Movies, TV) 2021

I've been watching the Marvel What If...? series on Disney+. Pretty good stuff.

Blaze Foley : The Duct Tape Messiah. A documentary on the country singer Blaze Foley.

Demons (1985)



Since my concert was canceled last night, I decided to watch this Lamberto Bava directed thriller. A group of random people are invited to a theatre screening of a mysterious movie. One of them tries on a mask from a lobby display,gets cut and turns into a ravenous demon attacking all in sight and turning her victims into demons. A rather thin plot but highlighted by some decent gore and a fantastic soundtrack featuring the Scorpions, Accept and Saxon.

"Jason Rising: A Friday the 13th Fan Film" (2021)

Two small town cops and a pair of Federal marshals track a trio of escaped convicts to the ruins of Camp Crystal Lake, where they encounter its most famous hockey-masked resident. You can probably figure out the rest.
This is a very well made fan film with legit production values, some nice gore effects, and halfway decent acting. At just under an hour, it doesn't wear out its welcome, plus there's a surprise late-inning appearance by a major character from the 'real' "Friday the 13th" saga. This is definitely one of the best "F13" fan films out there, right behind Never Hike Alone. Good stuff!

Gene Simmons : The 70 Year Old Demon

Metal Movie double feature last night:

"The Mentors: Kings of Sleaze Rockumentary" (2017)

The rise, fall and rebirth of the infamous "rape rock" combo fronted by the late, legendary El Duce is retold in this entertaining documentary which traces the band's history through vintage interviews, photos, and clips, which are just as tasteless, silly, and offensive as you'd expect from these guys. A guilty pleasure.

"Lords of Chaos" (2019)

Dramatized re-enactment of the story of Mayhem, the group of anti-social Norwegian teens whose goal was to create the darkest, most evil Black Metal band ever. Over time, a bizarre game of "more evil than you" one-upmanship between band members leads to numerous church arsons and eventually, murder. Great performances by Rory Culkin (yes, Macauley's brother) as the doomed Oysten "Euronymous" Aarseth and Emory Cohen as Varg "Count Grishnakh" Vikernes. I'm sure the movie is riddled with historical inaccuracies that Black Metal purists would be able to pick apart, but as an outsider viewing it simplay as a drama, "Lords of Chaos" is a compelling watch.

"Scott Pilgrim vs. The World" (2010)

In order to win his dream girl (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), a dorky Canadian slacker (Michael Cera) must defeat her seven evil ex-boyfriends in a series of video-game style battles. Edgar "Shaun of the Dead" Wright's stylish action comedy based on a graphic novel is one of the weirdest movies I've seen in a while but it's also a lot of fun.

"Easy Riders, Raging Bulls: How the Sex, Drugs and Rock N Roll Generation Saved Hollywood" (2003)

BBC Documentary about the so called "New Hollywood" movement of the late 60s and early 70s, which saw the old fashioned "studio system" fall by the wayside in favor of a new, daring, experimental way of film making led by "auteur" directors like Martin Scorsese, Sam Peckinpah, William Friedkin, Dennis Hopper, Peter Bogdanovich, George Lucas, and more. Based on the book by Peter Biskind, which was one of the best books on the movie biz I've ever read. This doc isn't nearly as in depth as the book but it's still a fun watch full of cool interviews and vintage clips.

"Phantasm" (1979)

A pair of brothers and their dorky friend investigate strange goings-on at the local funeral parlor, led by a mysterious mortician known as "The Tall Man."
I'll be honest, I know lots of people dig this movie, but this is my third try with it and "Phantasm" still kinda sucks. The story makes no sense, the acting is terrible. and the pacing is sluggish. In spite of all that, this movie has become a cult classic and spawned several sequels, though I'm still not entirely sure why. I guess it's one of those movies you either "get" or you don't, and I don't. (shrugs)

Yep, you don't "get it".

But I'll admit some of your criticisms are valid, especially the acting.  As far as pacing, yeah I could see that although personally I don't have an issue with it.  The part I really disagree with is that the story makes no sense.  Beings from another dimension or planet are here harvesting and reanimating our dead and sending them back to work as slave labor.  What part don't you understand?

I still love Phantasm because it's a sci-fi/horror hybrid with an original storyline.

Now if you want to see a Phantasm movie that sucks you should try the 5th or 6th sequels.  OMG, they REALLY suck!

tohostudios wrote:

Now if you want to see a Phantasm movie that sucks you should try the 5th or 6th sequels.  OMG, they REALLY suck!

I've gone as far as "Phantasm II" in the past, and that one didn't do anything for me, either.
I have no plans to delve any further, esp. after this viewing of the O.G.

The main reason I watched it again was cuz Tubi is streaming the so-called "Remastered" version from 2016, which was restored and upgraded by Don Coscarelli and Star Wars: The Force Awakens director and long time Phantasm fan boy J.J. Abrams. I thought that perhaps seeing a freshly cleaned-up version of Phantasm (as opposed to the dark, washed out VHS versions I've seen in the past) might finally make the movie "click" for me.... but nope. Oh well, three tries is more than I usually give most movies.

I really like Phantasm II too but after that they get progressively worse - like most franchises.

That's one thing I respect about the Saw series; sure the sequels don't pack the punch of the first one but they at least further (and often obfuscate) the storyline.  Sure they all obviously follow the same formula but at least you know that at the end there'd be a "twist" that would set up the next one in the series.  One thing I always think about when watching a Saw movie, I wonder if the writer of the upcoming sequel would watch the one he's following up and say to himself, "You expect me to unravel that twist and run with it????"  The relative coherency of the whole series is pretty amazing considering there was no predetermined story arc; as far as I know the writer(s) of each entry were on their own.

"Madman" (1982)

As they prepare to close down a summer camp at the end of the season, a group of counselors make the mistake of mocking local legend "Madman" Marz, a farmer who supposedly went insane and ax murdered his entire family many years ago. Of course, the hillbilly decapitator then magically appears to start whackin' away at them.
It doesn't have an original bone in its body, of course, but "Madman" is a pretty decent "Friday the 13th" knock off - the acting is adequate, the action moves quickly, and it wastes no time getting to the good gory stuff. Worth a look if you're a slasher aficionado.

Wife is working a late shift tonight so I had the TV all to myself for a change:

"Rock N Roll High School" (1979)

Aspiring songwriter Riff Randell (P.J. Soles, "Halloween") and her friends fight back against Vince Lombardi High's new rock-hating principal, Miss Togar (Mary Woronov), with a little help from the Ramones, and some high explosives.
I have totally lost count of how many times I've seen this classic over the years -- I can pretty much recite the entire movie along with the cast at this point. I will never get tired of it. Ever.

"The Beyond" (aka "7 Doors of Death," 1981)

A woman inherits a run-down hotel in the Louisiana bayou, but her efforts to renovate and re-open the old place are complicated by a series of mysterious deaths which may be tied to a murder that happened there 50 years ago. Oh, and possibly because the place is built on top of a doorway to Hell. Yeah, I hate when that happens...
This ultra-bizarre Italian splatter fest from Lucio "Zombie" Fulci completely stops making sense around the three quarter mark but till then, it's probably his most well made film. The gore effects are totally sick and the whole movie has a weird, doomy feeling to it. Totally metal. Fulci apparently considered this film to be part of a loose "trilogy" along with his "House By the Cemetery" and "City of the Living Dead." I'll take his word for it.

Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings (2021)



Shang-Chi, the Master Of Kung Fu, is drawn back into the past he left behind and must confront the deadly Ten Rings organization (introduced way back in the first Iron Man film) created by his near immortal father. As a fan of the 70s books, I really enjoyed this epic flick, much more "mystical" than I expected.

"It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" (1963)

After learning about a stash of money hidden in a secret location, a group of motorists all try to beat each other to the treasure, causing mayhem and destruction wherever they go.
This bloated slapstick epic is the textbook definition of an old fashioned "all star spectacular" -- it features pretty much everybody who was funny in showbiz at the time (Milton Berle, Phil Silvers, Buddy Hackett, Jonathan Winters, Sid Caesar, Ethel Merman, Don Knotts, Mickey Rooney, and on and on...). This movie doesn't have much plot, but it's got plenty of cars crashing, things falling over and exploding, people hitting each other, etc., etc. At two hours and 45 minutes, it's WAY too long, but I guess they needed the time to cram in all those star cameos.
Many film buffs and critics consider this one of the funniest movies ever made; I'm not exactly sure why. I got a few laughs out of it here and there, but after a while I was checking my watch and wondering when it was ever going to end.  
Mildly interesting from a historical perspective, but I'll never sit through this again.

A Scanner Darkly
Monday Night Raw

"Student Bodies" (1981)

A wheezing murderer known as "The Breather" is killing off horny high-school teens with paper clips, trash bags, and an eggplant (!) in this occasionally amusing low budget slasher film parody that pre-dates the "Scary Movie" franchise by more than a decade. Not every joke lands, but there were enough cheap laughs to keep me entertained.  
Best gag: a random shot of the film's producer telling the audience "F**k you" so the film will get an "R" rating.

"Hellraiser" (1987)

Clive Barker's cult classic about an old homestead whose walls hold secrets of blood, infidelity, pain, pleasure, and oh yeah, an interdimensional torture freak named Pinhead and his ghastly friends, the Cenobites. The story is twisted, the acting isn't very good, but the gooey, gory splatter effects (which were the film's main selling point) have held up extremely well. Over the years, the "Hellraiser" series has devolved into a never ending parade of crappy sequels but the O.G. will still make you squirm.

"Hellbound: Hellraiser II" (1988)

The lone survivor of the first movie is trapped in a mental hospital, where the crazed doctor in charge of her case wants to use her as bait to prove the existence of Pinhead and the Cenobites. Once again, there's lots of blood splashin' and flesh flayin'. Probably the best of the countless sequels.

"Warning: Parental Advisory" (2002)

Back when VH1 still aired music-related programming, they produced this slightly tongue-in-cheek dramatization of the mid '80s PMRC (Parents Music Resource Center) saga. Jason "90210" Priestley is a young Washington lobbyist who gets caught up in the fight between Tipper Gore (Mariel Hemingway)'s would-be censors and rockers like Frank Zappa (Griffin Dunne) and Dee Snider (playing himself) as they gather in D.C. for a senate hearing. A fun trip down memory lane if you were around while this was going on, educational for those who weren't.

"Lightning Bolt" (aka "Operazione Goldman," 1966)

A swinging secret agent (Anthony Eisley) investigates rocket sabotage at Cape Kennedy and uncovers a madman's plot to place a laser weapon on the moon. Dr. Evil would be proud!
This Italian production was one of the better low-budget James Bond knock offs to come out of the Sixties "Eurospy" fad. Cheap, cheesy, action packed fun.

"Valentine" (2001)

As they prepare for a big Valentine's Day bash, a clique of hot, twenty-something gals fall victim to a masked psycho who's had a grudge against them all for a very long time. (When you see why, you'll probably say "these stuck up bitches had it coming," haha)
A late inning entry into the post-"Scream" teen horror craze, "Valentine" has a slick, music-video look to it, a great cast with plenty of female eye candy (Denise Richards, lawd have mercy!) and a couple of legit murder scenes (the one involving a hot tub and a power drill is particularly inspired). The whodunit element doesn't really work because the killer's I.D. is telegraphed from a mile away, but otherwise this underrated flick is a pleasant surprise and a gory good time.

"The Search for Weng Weng" (2013)

A documentary about the strange saga of Weng Weng, a three-foot tall actor from the Philippines who became an unlikely cult figure among Asian B-Movie fans thanks to his leading man roles in the spy spoofs "For Y'ur Height Only" (sic) and "The Impossible Kid." I've never seen any of Weng's (who died in 1992) flicks in their entirety but his story is bizarre, interesting, occasionally hilarious, and a little bit sad. Worth a look if you want to learn about a corner of the movie biz that's completely unknown to most Westerners.

Continuing in the "Filipino Exploitation" vein...

"Machete Maidens Unleashed!" (2010)

B-Movie historian Mark Hartley's impressively thorough examination of the Filipino exploitation film boom of the '70s and '80s. The Philippines had their own robust film industry dating back to the '50s, but when Hollywood's B-Movie producers suddenly took note of the country's exotic locations (and cheap labor and production costs), they shot literally hundreds of action, horror, and women-in-prison flicks there over the next dozen years, like "The Big Bird Cage," "The Hot Box," "TNT Jackson," "Black Mama, White Mama," and "Savage Sisters."
This doc is packed with outrageous clips from tons of forgotten B-Movies full of boobs, blood, and explosions, and hilariously wry commentary by Corman, Joe Dante, Cirio Santiago , Sid Haig, John Landis, Allan Arkush, and many more. Tons of fun, and now I'm probably gonna end up going down a Pam Grier/chicks in chains rabbit hole for the next week or so...

"Savage Sisters" (1974)

3 women escape from prison in an unnamed Banana Republic and spend the rest of the movie trying to steal a suitcase full of money back from some mercenaries so they can get out of the country.
A pretty typical "chicks in chains" movie, not nearly as sleazy or violent as others I've seen. The girls mostly keep their clothes on (!) and the tongue-in-cheek tone seems like they decided to turn this into a parody in the middle of filming. Sid "Captain Spaulding" Haig is a hoot as the Mexican bandito =soldier for hire who the girls are pursuing, otherwise this is just lots of car chases, shoot outs, and stuff randomly exploding. It wasn't terrible, but it definitely needed more skin and sin!

"Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" (2004)

Set in a steampunk 1930s New York, a heroic pilot (Jude Law) and an intrepid, Lois Lane-ish girl reporter (Gwyneth Paltrow) team up to defeat a super villain whose army of robots are buidling a doomsday machine that could destroy the earth.
A stylish ode to the action movie serials of the 30s and 40s, "Sky Captain" is kinda like a mash up of Indiana Jones, Tim Burton's "Batman," "The Rocketeer," Fritz Lang's "Metropolis" and the Max Fleisher "Superman" cartoons. The film was created almost totally in CGI, with the actors performing in front of green screens (one of the first films to do so), which gives it a unique look that resembles a newly colorized, long lost old movie.
"Sky Captain" wasn't well received when it was first released but it's gone on to become a bit of a cult item since then, deservedly so.