TODAY I WATCHED... (Movies, TV) 2018

tohostudios wrote:

FF, you sir are a glutton for punishment.  

It's not even a horror movie and it's directed by Lenzi so you HAD to know going in it was really going to suck.  But you watched it anyway.  Even I don't do that.

Hell yeah, I'm gonna watch anything with Umberto Lenzi's name on it. He's my homeboy! Nightmare City is my favorite crappy Italo-Euro-trash movie ever!

Charlie's Angels

"008: Operation Exterminate" (1965)

A lovely American agent (Ingrid Schoeller) is teamed up with a British counterpart (Alberto Lupo) and they travel from Cairo to the Swiss Alps to recover stolen "anti-radar technology" from enemy hands. Like most "Eurospy" films of the era, the story eventually turns into a hopeless muddle of unnecessary twists, turns, and double-and-triple crosses, but overall this is a fun, lightweight Bond knockoff with lots of exotic Egyptian and European scenery, plus Ms. Schoeller was quite the babe.
Directed by my man Umberto Lenzi, later of "Nightmare City" and "Make Them Die Slowly" fame!

Ring of Honor

I'm plowing through Cheers for the first time... idk why I slept on this show for so long, I've fallen in love with it. Haven't dug a straight-laced sitcom like this in a long while.
I'm on season 2 now and I just started watching it last weekend.

Supernatural

I had a "Holiday Horror Crap-a-Thon" double feature today:

"The Elf" (2017)

On their way to a family holiday gathering, a young couple stops at a run down old antique shop and unlocks an old chest, which frees a homicidal Christmas elf doll that follows them home. You can probably figure out the rest yourself.
...the poster art promises a low-rent combo of "Chucky" and  "Elf On The Shelf," which would've been fun to watch. However, this glacially paced, terribly over-acted and poorly edited flick soon becomes an incomprehensible friggin' mess involving dysfunctional family drama and ancient curses. Whaaaaat-ever. Zzzzzzz...
..and yet, God help us, they released a sequel to this thing ("Elves") last month! Yikes, I think I'll pass...

..moving on to the next cinematic lump of coal...
"A Christmas Slay" (2015)

Not to be confused with the far superior "Santa's Slay," this British horror flick follows three nubile single ladies who are planning to celebrate the holiday at a secluded ski chalet. Unfortunately, their revelry is interrupted by a Christmas Eve visit from an axe-wielding psycho in a Santa Claus costume. Screaming, cleavage, and ultra cheap gore ensues. Even the worst of the "Silent Night, Deadly Night" series looks like the Royal Shakespeare Company compared to this flick.
AVOID.

Barney Miller
Coach

Another episode of "Gotham" - season 3

I'm torn between trying to get through all 4 seasons of "Gotham" before its final season in January and my usual Christmas fare like "Santa's Slay", "St. Nick", "Krampus" and "A Christmas Horror Story".

My "Twisted Christmas" film fest took a slightly different turn last night...

"La Nuit Du Reveillon" (2013)
(aka "Silent Night, Bloody Night," according to Amazon Prime)

A French financier and his family are in the midst of their annual lavish Christmas Eve dinner party when a gun-toting home invader dressed as Santa takes everyone hostage and straps explosive belts on them. As the night goes on, it becomes clear that this Santa knows the dirty little secrets of everyone present, and uses them to turn them all against one another.
Going by the slightly-misleading English title (the film isn't very bloody at all), I expected this to be just another cheap killer-Santa flick, but it turned out to be a pretty tight little psychological/suspense thriller, apparently made for French TV. Obviously there's no connection to the early '70s yuletide ax-murder flick by the same name.
Worth a look if you understand French, or don't mind reading sub-titles. I was pleasantly surprised by this one.

Dunkirk

That 70's Show
Two And A Half Men

The holiday horror crap keeps on comin'...

"Secret Santa" (2016)

A houseful of college kids throw a holiday party complete with a "Secret Santa" exchange where they all receive strange, lethal "gifts." Soon a ski masked murderer is knocking them all off one by one.
This is one of those micro budget "throwback" horror indies that tries to cop the vintage grind house vibe, complete with faux "scratches" on the film and a cheap, tinny 80s Casio style soundtrack. It was gory as hell and dumb as a box of rocks, but at least it was short (less than 90 minutes) so my suffering was minimal.

OK, now that looks like one I need to see.

tohostudios wrote:

OK, now that looks like one I need to see.

It was bad, but at least it was entertainingly bad.

Better Watch Out (2016)


During the Christmas season, a babysitter arrives at a suburban home to babysit a 12 year old kid. Soon, she has to defend him and herself against armed intruders. Things , however, take an unexpected turn and go down an even creepier path. This was actually a really good movie. Recommended.

I try to obtain a new Christmas horror movie every year and it looks like this year "Better Watch Out" fits the bill.  Especially since it's also a comedy.

"Austin Powers in Goldmember" (2002)

The third and final (?) "Austin" adventure sends the swingin' spy to the 1970s, where he meets ghetto-fabulous agent Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyonce) and rescues his kidnapped father (Michael Caine) from Dr. Evil and his new partner, the dreaded Goldmember.
Not as good as the preceding "Spy Who Shagged Me," but still worth a watch if you're a fan of the series.

The Simpsons
Bob's Burgers
Family Guy

I watched Family Guy tonight.

007 wrote:

Better Watch Out (2016)


During the Christmas season, a babysitter arrives at a suburban home to babysit a 12 year old kid. Soon, she has to defend him and herself against armed intruders. Things , however, take an unexpected turn and go down an even creepier path. This was actually a really good movie. Recommended.

I watched this tonight.  Meh.  I like the concept of "Home Alone" taking a darker turn but I don't think this movie delivered on the idea.  For one thing, it's way too bloodless.  Plus the ending is stupid.  This had a lot of potential because as I said, I like the concept, but somewhere along the line I think the execution failed.  

It's not a bad entry in my Christmas pantheon of movies but it's not a great one either IMO.

Deadwood Park(2007)-a man returns to his hometown of Eidolon Crossing years after his twin brother's disappearance. Shortly after, he begins searching for the answers to his brother's abduction and the child murders that took place in the town years earlier. He soon discovers the dark secret behind the murders and it's connection to an old abandoned amusement park the locals refer to as Deadwood Park. I checked out this indie film after hearing positive things about it for years and overall I'd have to say I liked it and was impressed with what they pulled off with a small budget. I'll give it 3 out of 5 chainsaws.