Hilarious new metal T-shirt

I've got to admit, I really like that song from Lich King. I'm not really a fan of black metal.

Yeah.other than Immortal black metal sucks. I was at the Lich King show friday in Buffalo, in an old funeral home. What was so funny,there was
a black metal band that played before them. https://www.facebook.com/#!/LichKingMetal?sk=notes

FRIDAY - DAY SIXTEEN - BUFFALO, NY continued

The drive up to Buffalo is kinda miserable... it's only three and a half hours, but with only three people in the bus it seems to take longer. Jeff's not playing Queen, Ben's not complaining about anything. It's a long trip through pleasant enough weather. We arrive.



The Funeral Home in Buffalo is a pretty cool little venue, and is one of the venues with the most character out of all the tour. At one point it was an actual funeral home, and a wooden coffin is set up in one of the viewing areas with graffiti all over it. Latex monster masks adorn a shelf. Blasphemy's all over the place. A functional if not entirely pleasant bathroom is on hand. A pretty large crowd of people are milling about.



We're a bit late so we only catch the end of PNEUMONIA HOLE's set. It's incredibly loud in there. We move all our crap into one of the bereavement rooms and set up the merch table. Soon, a gothic band called WHERE SHE WEPT starts setting up, complete with a Hot Topic look and a synth player.



During their set, I hear "this next song goes out to the band that hates black metal..." and then they play a song that proves my point. I loved it.



HELLCANNON goes up next, and they do very well. I did the art for their Infected With Violence album and it's always cool to meet up with a band that's paid me stacks of cash. They do the monster voice between songs. I've noted a few bands doing that- WITCHAVEN's a major offender in that right- carrying the goblin voice into the banter, making it nearly impossible to hear what they're saying. Bands: just tell us you've got t-shirts for sale in your normal voice.



We go up. There's a decent crowd here, so we're anticipating a ruckus. We begin and the crowd is understandably withdrawn at first. The first song always hits like a dud with people that don't know you. The first song, for a crowd, is trying to figure out if you're a band they headbang to or wait out in the parking lot.



At one point, I say "I notice that an earlier band dedicated a song to 'the band that hates black metal.' I'm not sure why they left early, maybe it takes a long time to unbuckle knee-high patent leather boots, but all the same this one goes out to them. THIS ONE'S CALLED BLACK METAL SUCKS!"



Note: We don't actually have a problem with these guys, we talked to them afterward and laughed this off. They've got a sense of humor, so they're cool with us.



Some of the people are headbanging a bit, and some of the people start filtering out. I get frustrated and wander along the stage between verses. I see back by the drums, there's a number of those water noodle things... the long and colorful foam tubes. I throw them out into the crowd and within moments, they're whacking each other with them. Someone runs out and comes back with a couch cushion. Others follow suit. Soon we've got a full-scale pillow fight pit going, and it's encompassing the entire room. It persisted through the rest of the set, and it was awesome. Someone got video, but I haven't spotted it online yet.



I'm pretty sure someone stole 2 CDs while we were up, but we closed out the tour on a good night. Buffalo was a lot of fun.



MIGHTY TACO RULES. Buffalo, NYBrian's driving us as far back home as he can tonight and he wants food. We ask where we can get some late-night food and someone suggests Mighty Taco. We check it out and I've gotta say, we are immense fans of that place now. Those tacos were friggin' delicious. Now I'm just furious that we don't have them within six hours of us.



Brian drives for hours through the night.



SATURDAY - DAY SEVENTEEN - THE DRIVE HOME

I wake up first, as usual, and stumble blinking out into the parking lot to see where we are. Brian has parked us in a rest stop with a McDonald's. Coffee, wi-fi, bathrooms. Good work Brian. I go in and get a coffee, an orange juice and one of those weird fruit oatmeal cups they've got. I sit and enjoy wi-fi for about two hours until Joe comes in and says he'd like to get going.



You hear all the time that you should eat a healthy breakfast, and that it makes a difference in your day. I've never gotten that or felt better as a result of what I ate in the morning until today. For some reason, having oatmeal and orange juice in my gut is propelling me and putting me in an almost obnoxiously good, can-do mood. I hop behind the wheel and drive for four and a half hours.



We pull into Lich King Headquarters and start getting our crap out of the bus. I realize I've left my beloved fan- that Brian has hated for the past week and a half, despite a good three-day start- on stage in Buffalo. I grieve the loss, Brian celebrates. I'm still full of energy and ask if we're loading the gear back into the practice space. Nope.



Nothing left to do now, then, but throw my bag in the car and take off for home.



Home, where I can sit for hours on my own computer if I want to.



Home, where I can not be constantly around four other stinking dudes.



Home, where a non-public bathroom awaits.



Thus concludes the sordid tale of Lich King's Attack of the Wrath of the War of the Death of the Strike of the Sword of the Tour of the Northeast. Thanks for reading.

Not a big black metal fan, but I wouldn't go as far as to saying it sucks. Funny shirt though.

Lich King are great,and hilarious.
They are also correct,BM sucks!

I think most genres and scenes suck, and it's really only a minority of bands that make any of them worthwhile. Black metal is like any other metal genre, there are good and bad examples of it. I dig a few bands.

Never heard Lich King so I can't say anything about them.

Lich King sing about silly sh*t. i wouldn't call this shirt hilarious, just silly.

mc666 wrote:

Lich King sing about silly sh*t. i wouldn't call this shirt hilarious, just silly.

Oh, and the rest are lyrical geniuses?




Black Metal does indeed suck ass - Partly the music, as well as the people who play it - they just look like a joke.

Mglaffas81 wrote:

mc666 wrote:

Lich King sing about silly sh*t. i wouldn't call this shirt hilarious, just silly.

Oh, and the rest are lyrical geniuses?

the rest of what?

LICH KING are a really good thrash band and EMPEROR's "Anthem to the Welkyn at Dusk" is a great black metal album.

But most black metal does indeed suck. So does most death metal. And most thrash. And most doom metal. And most power metal.

Temple of Blood wrote:

LICH KING are a really good thrash band and EMPEROR's "Anthem to the Welkyn at Dusk" is a great black metal album.

But most black metal does indeed suck. So does most death metal. And most thrash. And most doom metal. And most power metal.

...so what do you like?

Sounds like a fun show Cognitive. Wish I could have been there.

mc666 wrote:

Lich King sing about silly sh*t. i wouldn't call this shirt hilarious, just silly.

I like Lich King but I agree with this statement. I think they are intentionally silly. It's not all that funny or hilarious, but it's amusingly silly for sure. Even is the band does think Black Metal sucks, the whole song is obviously tongue-in-cheek, which is one of the reasons I enjoy it. It's just good fun and it's cool to see a band not take themselves so seriously.

mc666 wrote:

Mglaffas81 wrote:

mc666 wrote:

Lich King sing about silly sh*t. i wouldn't call this shirt hilarious, just silly.

Oh, and the rest are lyrical geniuses?

the rest of what?

whoops, nevermind - misunderstood something

Mglaffas81 wrote:

Temple of Blood wrote:

LICH KING are a really good thrash band and EMPEROR's "Anthem to the Welkyn at Dusk" is a great black metal album.

But most black metal does indeed suck. So does most death metal. And most thrash. And most doom metal. And most power metal.

...so what do you like?

He likes SOME death metal, SOME thrash, SOME doom, etc. etc. ToB's is the pickiest brother I've ever met. But to each his own. Listen to what you like.

ultmetal wrote:

mc666 wrote:

Lich King sing about silly sh*t. i wouldn't call this shirt hilarious, just silly.

I like Lich King but I agree with this statement. I think they are intentionally silly. It's not all that funny or hilarious, but it's amusingly silly for sure. Even is the band does think Black Metal sucks, the whole song is obviously tongue-in-cheek, which is one of the reasons I enjoy it. It's just good fun and it's cool to see a band not take themselves so seriously.

my thoughts exactly. Lich King are a fun party band, much like Municipal Waste. very tongue in cheek & light hearted. not a lot in the way of seriousness, just silliness.

I have pretty limited experience with Lich King, but they do seem like a low-budget Municipal Waste to my ears. Still, not bad.

As for whether black metal sucks. Eh. There's some great stuff within the genre, just like there is within every genre. I don't see the point in writing off entire categories. Sometimes you just need to crank some Emperor.

Smindas wrote:

I have pretty limited experience with Lich King, but they do seem like a low-budget Municipal Waste to my ears. Still, not bad.

As for whether black metal sucks. Eh. There's some great stuff within the genre, just like there is within every genre. I don't see the point in writing off entire categories. Sometimes you just need to crank some Emperor.

I'm sure you ment to say Immortal, right?

It's all good, mate.

Smindas wrote:

As for whether black metal sucks. Eh. There's some great stuff within the genre, just like there is within every genre. I don't see the point in writing off entire categories. Sometimes you just need to crank some Emperor.

I dont really care for black metal all that much but saying an entire genre sucks is jsut trying to be inflammatory. I dont care for rap at all but I just dont listen to it. Let those who do enjoy it listen and Ill stick to what I enjoy.

Some type of black metal sucks, like symphonic black metal, melodic black metal, industrial black metal etc... but real black metal, the primative ones like BEHERIT, BURZUM or old MAYHEM rules forever and ever.

krokus wrote:

Some type of black metal sucks, like symphonic black metal, melodic black metal, industrial black metal etc... but real black metal, the primative ones like BEHERIT, BURZUM or old MAYHEM rules forever and ever.

I personally like the more melodic stuff like Borgknagar, Antestor, early Crimson Moonlight, The Kovenant, etc. while not so much the 'primitive' type.

Lich King is awesome and I do enjoy some Black Metal. Most of the first/second wave stuff is pretty solid. Lately I've really been digging Darkthrone's brand of Metal/Punk on their newest records, but their old stuff is great too. They are definitely by favourite Black Metal band, followed closely by Burzum.

Had to pull out Toxic Zombie Onslaught and give it a spin.

I hope you get hit by a bus...why? Black Metal sucks...careful not to smear you make-up...you suck!

Spiner202 wrote:

... I do enjoy some Black Metal. Most of the first/second wave stuff is pretty solid. Lately I've really been digging Darkthrone's brand of Metal/Punk on their newest records, but their old stuff is great too. They are definitely by favourite Black Metal band, followed closely by Burzum.

Darkthrone are awesome. Circle the Wagons was one of my favorite albums of last year, I love their old stuff as well as their new stuff. Most of the first and second wave black-metal is just fine by me, and I like bands that mix traditional and thrash elements with black-metal. Yeah, there are a lot of crap bands, and even more imitators who do nothing but milk the same sound again and again to the point where it becomes tedious, but that is literally any genre. You just gotta keep an open mind.