Jokes...

Having a bad week. Tell me a joke and make me laugh.

Sorry to hear that Scott. I'm not good with jokes, by my priest sent me this video this morning with the subject line of Late Night Xians. It's a bit sad, but it's funny too:

"If you do laundry in the love of God, you'll get a harvest!"

Kenneth Copeland is soooo off base doctrinally it's not even funny.

Absolutely agreed 100%. And that Murdoch guy scares me.

Here's a rhyme from Willie Nelson:

"Billy roy the cabin boy was a dirty little nipper.
Lined his ass with broken glass, and circumcised the skipper"

What do metalheads and Jews have in common?



They both prefer the old Testament.

Hey-o!!

Witchfinder wrote:

What do metalheads and Jews have in common?



They both prefer the old Testament.

Hey-o!!

This one's a keeper.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse, with its inability to understand English, defecates on the floor and leaves.

Schbopo wrote:

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse, with its inability to understand English, defecates on the floor and leaves.

And here is a picture of that horse:

Schbopo wrote:

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse, with its inability to understand English, defecates on the floor and leaves.

Two g-ay condoms walked into a bar. One looks at the other and says, "let's get sh*tfaced tonight."

The other day, I saw a youth pastor and 6 kids get out of a Honda. They were in one Accord !

Why don't blind people Bungee Jump?


















































It scares the crap out of the dog!

A panda goes into a resteraunt and orders some food. After he is finished, the waiter brings him the check. The Panda then shoots the waiter with a gun and proceeds to leave the resteraunt. The owner shocked yells, "What the hell do you think you're doing!" The Panda says, "Hey, buddy! I'm a Panda, look it up!" Later the owner opens up a dictionary and sees the definition of a Panda:

Panda-A large animal from Asia. Eats shoots and leaves.

This preacher is waking through the desert in Mexico. He comes into a small town and asks a young boy where the post office is. The boy tells him, "Go down the street past the well and when you see a guy havin a siesta in the alley turn left. The second street you come to there will be a bar and the post office is right next to that" The preacher says thanks and after taking a few steps, thinks to himself. Here is a perfect chance to explain why I am really here. He turns and tels the boy. I plan to open and church here and tell foks about Jesus and how to get to heaven. The boy laughs really really hard. The preacher asks, "what's so funny". The boys says, "you don't even know how to get to the post office".

What does Eric Clapton have in common with coffee?

They both suck without Cream...

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a
young girl for the night.

Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

'I'm 90 years old,' he says.

'90!' replies the woman. 'Don't you realize you've had it?'

'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?

Jesusandmetal23 wrote:

What does Eric Clapton have in common with coffee?

They both suck without Cream...

The REAL joke is.......

What does 7 Eleven coffee and Ginger Baker have in common....they both suck without CREAM.

Jesus walks into a hotel with a cross and three nails. He asks the desk clerk "Can you put me up tonight?"

GrandNational wrote:

Schbopo wrote:

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse, with its inability to understand English, defecates on the floor and leaves.

Two g-ay condoms walked into a bar. One looks at the other and says, "let's get sh*tfaced tonight."

 

What kind of ice cream do Lesbians like?



























KlonDYKE bars

Troublezone wrote:

What kind of ice cream do Lesbians like?



























KlonDYKE bars

Whats the difference between a musician and a savings bond?





































































One day, the savings bond will mature and earn money.

Jesusandmetal23 wrote:

Whats the difference between a musician and a savings bond?





































































One day, the savings bond will mature and earn money.

What do you call a lezbo dinosaur? A lickalottapus