The Fat Freddy Review Column

manny wrote:

Excellent job as always and I actually like that silly as hell album by the Tap boys.

So do I... still spin it regularly...

The best part about writing that review was that after it was published, I learned that a lot of people were still not in on the Spinal Tap joke. Of course, the hip people were telling me, "Great job, that was hilarious" but on the other hand I had a few people say to me "Wow, I had no idea that Spinal Tap had been around for so long... I never even heard of them until that movie!" too.

I thought I'd made it pretty obvious that the review was a goof... you'd think that by the time they got to the part about Ian Faith selling off their back catalog to the Iranians, most people would've went "Wait a minute... what the hell?"

It always cracked me up that people thought they were a real band. Don't they know who those guys are? Christopher Guest was in Princess Bride as well as many other shows for crying out loud.

TheNazgul wrote:

It always cracked me up that people thought they were a real band. Don't they know who those guys are? Christopher Guest was in Princess Bride as well as many other shows for crying out loud.

That's a testament to how good those guys are when they're acting "in character" as Spinal Tap.

Holy crap... no, friends, your eyes are not deceiving you, this is actually a semi-new review!! I'm trying like hell to get back on the reviewing train. The stack of promos was really starting to pile up and I was feeling guilty about slacking on some of these for so long. Watch this space cuz hopefully there will be many more additions here over the next couple of weeks. Comments, as always, are welcomed.


SEPULTURA – A-LEX (C-) SPV Records, 2009
18 Tracks, RT: 54:00
[ http://sepultura.uol.com.br/v6/ ]
[ http://www.myspace.com/sepultura ]
[ http://www.spv.de ]
[ http://www.spvusa.com ]

Though I was firmly on board with Sepultura during their extremely fertile late 80s/early 90s era (when they released the still-killer triad of BENEATH THE REMAINS in ’89, ARISE in ’91 and CHAOS A.D. in ’93), I haven’t crossed paths much with the Brazilian thrash/death metal stalwarts over the past decade or so. The band and I began to part ways after the release of 1996’s watershed ROOTS; though it may be one of their most popular records, that album saw the band dabbling with too many groove/nu-metal stylings for my liking. Curiosity made me return again for ‘98’s AGAINST, which featured new American vocalist Derrick Green replacing longtime throat Max Cavalera (who split to form Soulfly), and though that album was a welcome return to thrashier pastures for the band, I found Green’s vox to be a bit too one-dimensional and the band faded from my CD rotation after that. Flash forward a few years and albums, Sepultura has now lost the other Cavalera brother (drummer Igor) and the band has released their eleventh album, A-LEX, which I probably would’ve ignored if I hadn’t heard that it was a conceptual piece (!) based on Anthony Burgess’ novel “A Clockwork Orange.” The novel (and Stanley Kubrick’s classic 1971 movie version starring Malcolm McDowell) was a favorite of mine during my college days so I thought that perhaps Sepultura had finally delivered something that would be up my alley again. Unfortunately, A-LEX didn’t hold my interest for long. First the good news: musically, Sepultura still sounds as ferocious as ever. Guitarist Andreas Kisser (who has become the band’s driving force in the wake of both Cavalera brothers’ exits) has still got chops, and new drummer Jean Dolabella may not be Igor C’s equal but he can beat the skins with admirable skill. However, Green’s vocals don’t seem to have improved or progressed much since I last checked in at Camp Sep. He still has only one vocal mode – a deep, grumbling “WOOOOOORRRRRGH” – which, by the album’s mid point, simply sounds like you’re listening to someone repeatedly jam a lion in the ass with a sharp object. Additionally, if you hadn’t told me this was a concept album based on “A Clockwork Orange,” I never would’ve been able to tell just by listening to it. Maybe it’s me, but a concept album should have highs and lows, with changes in style to represent different moods/story points. The songs on A-LEX don’t have any kind of flow, they just rage from one track to the next without giving you the feeling that you’re listening to any kind of cohesive storyline. It feels more like you’re simply being beat over the head…until three quarters of the way through the album, when the classical track “Ludwig Van,” a Beethoven piece that sounds like it wandered in from a Trans-Siberian Orchestra album by mistake, gives you a brief respite from the brutality. I still think “A Clockwork Orange” would be a GREAT inspiration for a metal concept album. I just don’t think Sepultura were the right band to do it. I’ll give them grudging props for their ambition here, but in the end A-LEX was a disappointment.

I agree FF though I did like the Dante album pretty well.

Got another new one y'all:

Hades – BOOTLEGGED IN BOSTON 1988 DVD (B) Cruz Del Sur Music, 2009
Run Time (Concert Segment): approx. 35 minutes
Run Time (“Inside The Metal” documentary): approx. 45 minutes
[ http://www.myspace.com/hadesusa ]

New Jersey thrash icons Hades have been on ice for nearly a decade, but they’ve recently announced that they will reunite for a live show at Germany’s Keep It True Festival in early 2010. Only time will tell if the band will release any new music to coincide with the festival appearance, but until that show (or the inevitable local “warm up” gigs that are sure to happen around Jersey beforehand), Hades fans have something new to tide them over right now -- the BOOTLEGGED IN BOSTON 1988 DVD, released through Italy’s Cruz Del Sur Music. Old-school fans should be more than pleased with this package, which captures the band on stage at the height of their (unfortunately short lived) popularity opening for Manowar and Nuclear Assault in December of 1988. The video quality is a bit “rough and ready” of course (but then, what do you expect from a 20 year old tape shot from the audience by a guy with a camcorder? I’ve endured worse!), and the sound could be better, but fortunately Hades happened to put on an excellent performance on this particular night, which quickly overcomes the limitations of the original video source. In other words, them Hades boys were ON FIRE in Boston when this video was shot!! The short live set (only 7 tracks) pulls songs from their first two albums, RESISTING SUCCESS and IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, and the band are clearly psyched as they blast through such favorites as “I Too Eye,” “Opinionate,” “The Leaders?” and the classic “Nightstalker.” The washed out video quality (which suffers from a weird orange haze over everything, probably due to an overabundance of reds in the stage lights) only heightens the old-school vibe of this performance. Hades may have never gotten their due in the ‘80s but they were a hell of a ferocious live act, and this video proves it.
The DVD also includes “Hades: Inside the Metal,” a homemade “Behind the Music” style documentary (produced in 2000 to coincide with the release of THE DOWNSIDE), where guitarist Dan Lorenzo and vocalist Alan Tecchio (as well as other band members past and present) take the viewer on a trip through all of the highs and lows of Hades history. Some great cable-access TV appearances and vintage interviews are sprinkled throughout this segment; I couldn’t help but smile at seeing some live clips that were shot at such long-gone Jersey metal dives as Studio 1 in Newark and the China Club in Hillsdale. A bonus video of Lorenzo’s solo track “Frozen Planet” (from his CASSIUS KING solo debut) tops the whole thing off.
Oddly enough, some DVD retail sites list this video as having a run time of over 120 minutes; either there are some super-duper secret Easter eggs on this thing that I haven’t found yet, or they’re pulling that total out of thin air, because by my watch, the combination of the live set and the “Inside the Metal” portion, plus Lorenzo’s solo video, total just shy of 90 minutes. Those 90 minutes do go by quickly, and as long as they’re not expecting crystal clear audio and video quality, Hades fans should have a hell of a lot of fun watching BOOTLEGGED IN BOSTON.

Another whole mess o'new ones:


FARFLUNG – A WOUND IN ETERNITY (C-) MeteorCity Records, 2008
8 Tracks, RT: 45:36
[ http://www.myspace.com/farflung ]
[ http://www.meteorcity.com ]

OK, kids, this is a weird one. The L.A. trio known as Farflung describe themselves as “an apocalyptic beacon from the dark cosmos” and claim that their mission is to “bring space rock to your mental galaxy bathed in infrared, shuddering under the strobes, and warping the eyes.” Um…ooooo-kay. Once I cut through all the pretentious sci-fi B.S. in their press info and on their MySpace, I decided that this eight tracker was best summed up in one word: “Drone, drone, droooooooonnnne” (well, that’s actually three words, but you get my drift.) A WOUND IN ETERNITY, the band’s seventh release, sounds like it would make a great soundtrack for a ‘shrooming session or an acid trip; unfortunately for the band, I don’t do that kind of stuff anymore. The vocals are drenched in echo and reverb for that spooky, “we are descending from outer space” vibe, the instruments sound as if they’re coming from far away, and to me it all sounds like one very loooooonnng song. Hmmm, maybe I should’ve smoked something before I listened to this? Whatever. A WOUND IN ETERNITY is competently played and well produced, but this stuff simply ain’t my style. The band’s bio compares them to Hawkwind (a band that I know next to nothing about, other than the fact that they gave the world Lemmy a long time ago) alongside such names as Chrome, Damo Suzuki Network, and Pressurehed, none of which mean anything to me. I suppose if you’re a fan of any of the aforementioned bands, feel free to go nuts, ‘cuz this will probably be right up your alley. As for me, Farflung sound like Coheed and Cambria covering the early Floyd catalog (ugh!) and A WOUND IN ETERNITY couldn’t end fast enough for me. Yawn.

DUSTSUCKER – DIABOLO DOMINATION (B) LMP/SPV, 2008
12 Tracks, RT: 40:32

Let me get this out of the way first: the band’s name is “Dustsucker?” You gotta be kidding me. (Voice of Comic Book Guy) “Worst… band name… EVER.” Going by that alone, I feared the worst when I first dropped DIABOLO DOMINATION into my player but thankfully, these Germans kick out some pretty bad-ass dirty biker rock jams. This is one of those discs that took a few spins before it truly sunk in, but when it did I was glad I took enough time to give it a fair shot. This is good ol’fashioned no frills party metal, coming across kinda like a more metalized Monster Magnet (vocalist Max Count Farmer – yes, really! – is a dead ringer for MM’s Dave Wyndorf). Joined in the studio by ex-Grave Digger guitarist Uwe Lulis (who produced and plays bass on this record in addition to his current duties with Rebellion), these guys blaze through a dozen fast-and-furious songs that hit hard and don’t overstay their welcome. I especially liked “Let The Good Times Roll” (not a cover of the Cars track, but an ode to remembering the good ol’ days of hanging out at the record store and causing youthful, rock-n-roll fueled trouble, similar to Saxon’s “Denim and Leather” or Megadeth’s “Back In The Day”) and “Land of the King,” which features a guest guitar solo by Annihilator mainman Jeff Waters. If no-frills rock & roll fueled by whiskey and TNT is your thang, you’d be doing yourself a favor by checking these guys out.

REFLECTION – WHEN SHADOWS FALL (C+) Cruz Del Sur Music, 2008
12 Tracks, RT: 45:46

I’d never heard of this Greek five piece till this disc came thru the mailbox, but apparently Reflection has been around since 1992 and they have quite a few prior releases under their belts. The band’s bio says that they’re “the driving force of Hellenic Epic Doom Metal,” to which I say “Um… yeah, OK, whatever.” They sound more like slower-paced melodic power/prog to me, but to each their own. The proof is in the tunes, and Reflection have got’em to spare. WHEN SHADOWS FALL is a tight, machine-precise album full of crunchy riffs and epic, stirring choruses performed by extremely skilled musicians. Unfortunately, the odd, warbling vocal style of Leo Stivala took some getting used to. He’s one of those guys who over-emotes every single note to the point where he sounds like he’s about to keel over. I tried getting past that to enjoy the band’s crunchy riffing, which does indeed sound great for awhile, but by the album’s halfway point I found myself wishing that they’d kick things up a notch; almost the entire album is played at a rather frustrating mid-tempo plod. (hence the “Epic Doom” tag, I guess?) I get the feeling that there could be a pretty decent power metal band inside these guys if only someone would light a fire under their asses. I also wonder if WHEN SHADOWS FALL is a concept album. The promotional copy I received didn’t contain any lyrics so I don’t know for sure, but these songs feel like they’re all interconnected in some way, if that makes any sense. Anyway, the band chugs on for 11 songs about ghost ships and “the lost” and “desert lands” until the final track, an “orchestral” version of the song “Mistress of Sea,” which sounds like it could’ve come off the last Manowar album (editor’s note: that’s not a good thing) or the end credit song to a “Lord of the Rings” sequel. These guys would probably take that as a compliment, but I found it unnecessary at best. In the end, I didn’t hate WHEN SHADOWS FALL, but didn’t love it either. It started out promising enough (aside from the vocals) but after several spins ended up sounding somewhat half-baked. I expected more from a band that supposedly has such a long history. Fans of Symphony X, Kamelot, and the like will probably get more out of this album than I did.

NASHVILLE PU$$Y – FROM HELL TO TEXAS (B) SPV, 2009
12 Tracks, RT: 37:05

The ever-notorious Nashville Pu$$y returns with their fifth studio album, and believe it or not, though I’ve become quite familiar with their legendary rep over the years, this was the first time I’d actually heard these Atlanta-based hellraisers. For those who’ve been living under a rock (like me), the co-ed four piece (named after a lyric from Ted Nugent’s “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang”) play no frills, redneck sleaze rock, best described as a cocktail (ha!) of Bon Scott-era AC/DC, Thin Lizzy, the aforementioned Nuge, and a hit of Motorhead. This is the kind of stuff that’s tailor-made for the soundtrack to one of Rob Zombie’s 1970s styled, Southwestern-set splatter films. Blaine Cartwright will never be considered one of rock’s great vocalists, but he gets the job done, spitting out lyrics about drinkin’, fightin’, and f**kin’ in a snarl that sounds like Alice Cooper at his nastiest while his backing band (wife Ruyter Suys on guitar, Karen Cuda – who can certainly fill out a pair of Daisy Duke shorts, by the way - on bass, and Jeremy Thompson on drums) belt out some righteous hellraisin’ noise on their instruments. The production is a little on the thin/dry side but I’ll bet this band must whoop some serious ass live. I especially liked “Speed Machine,” the hilarious “Lazy Jesus” and catchy-as-hell “I’m So High” (Gotta love the title “Dead Men Can’t Get Drunk” too – so true!) but all 12 tracks zip by like a gang of Harley ridin’ bikers on meth. If you put on this CD, you have two choices – either shake your ass or get the hell out of the way!

Nice reviews!!!!!

Some DVDs that have been hanging around my house for longer than I care to mention....

ONSLAUGHT– LIVE POLISH ASSAULT 2007 DVD (B+) Metal Mind/MVD, 2008
RT: approx. 115 minutes

Onslaught’s comeback album, KILLING PEACE (2007) was a pretty decent slab of Slayer derived thrash metal that may not have been the most original thing to come down the pike but it showed the reactivated Brits were still a force to be reckoned with after a decade-plus layoff. The energy they showed on KILLING PEACE definitely transfers over to the live arena, as evidenced by this DVD, shot (as if the title didn’t make it painfully obvious) in Poland in February of 2007. The back of this DVD promises “100% LIVE THRASH” and that’s what you get in spades – a 14 track live set from Warsaw’s “Stodola” club, plus four additional clips from Japan in 2006, and for the real diehards, a bonus audio portion of three songs taped in Onslaught’s British homeland way the hell back in 1987. One thing I have to say about Poland’s mighty Metal Mind Productions – whenever they release a product, be it a DVD or CD (such as their popular Roadrunner Records catalog reissues from a while back), they go all out. The main concert portion of this DVD is filmed from several camera angles and edited nicely, capturing the band’s brutal thrash assault effectively. The live sound is great, with Sy Keeler’s gruff vocals in particular sounding even more throat-shredding in concert than on the KILLING PEACE album. The gig was shot in what appears to be a medium sized concert hall/club and the packed crowd of Polish bangers go suitably nuts during the performance; I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to be in the midst of that pit as the band thrashed through such tracks as “Let There Be Death,” “Twisted Jesus,” and “Power From Hell.” In addition to the live goodies, DVD is also packed with bonus material, including a lengthy interview with Keeler and guitarist Nige Rockett about the history of Onslaught (very interesting stuff here, particularly when Rockett becomes visibly uncomfortable while discussing Onslaught’s shortlived major-label era with Grim Reaper’s Steve Grimmett on vocals), a photo gallery, desk top images, web links, and probably some other stuff that I haven’t even located yet. The packaging and artwork is also top notch; this may be one of the best produced, most elaborate concert DVDs I’ve ever had the pleasure to review. If you’re an Onslaught fan or an aficionado of thrash in general, you are bound to be more than pleased with this DVD.

SOLITUDE AETURNUS – HOUR OF DESPAIR DVD (B) Metal Mind/MVD, 2007
RT: approx. 140 minutes

Let me get this out of the way first: though I occasionally enjoy a bit of Doom Metal here and there, I have never listened to much Solitude Aeturnus. I bought one of their CDs years ago (I believe it was 1992’s BEYOND THE CRIMSON HORIZON), it never did much for me, and I haven’t checked them out since then. So when this live DVD arrived in my mail quite some time ago my first impression was “Damn, this band is still around?” After watching Metal Mind’s excellent Onslaught DVD (reviewed above) I knew that even if I wasn’t a big fan of the band I was at least going to be enjoying a quality product, and I wasn’t disappointed when I slipped this into the player. Shot at the same venue (Stodola Club in Warsaw, Poland) as the Onslaught DVD (and also on the same date, in fact) HOUR OF DESPAIR presents a 12-track live set of doom metal in its purest form. The band makes effective use of lighting to match the moody feeling of their music, and vocalist Robert Lowe (who also fronts Swedish doomlords Candlemass) reminded me a bit of legendary Trouble frontman Eric Wagner with his “at peace” stage presence, perhaps with a touch of Ronnie James Dio as well. Since my knowledge of Solitude A’s material is next to nil, all of these tracks (including “Haunting the Obscure,” “Phantoms” and “Days of Prayer” amongst others) were new to me, and I must say that I enjoyed their groove. Though the 2 bands couldn’t be farther apart from one another musically, it was interesting to see that the Polish crowd, which was beating each other senseless during the Onslaught video, went crazy for Solitude Aeturnus as well. Like the Onslaught DVD, HOUR OF DESPAIR is also packed with bonus material aside from the live set – two short bootleg-quality sets shot in SA’s home turf of Texas in 1992 and 1987 (the ’87 one is so mushy and fuzzy that it’s all but unwatchable, by the way), an interview with SA mainmen Robert Lowe and John Perez, a photo gallery, desktop images, web links, etcetera, etcetera. A quality package all around, Solitude Aeturnus fans should find themselves in Doom Metal Heaven with HOUR OF DESPAIR.

Good reviews, FF.

SpectreFate wrote:

Good reviews, FF.

...they're probably much easier to read now that I fixed the formatting. (again: WHAT IS IT WITH THE FORMATTING ON THIS BOARD? If I copy/paste from a Word document into a post here, it comes out looking like Alphabet Soup!)

These babies will be on their way to you later this week, bro. Again, I apologize for the unforgivable delay. I suck.

Another new one:


BIBLE OF THE DEVIL – FREEDOM METAL (B-) Cruz Del Sur Music, 2008
8 Tracks, RT: 43:50
First impressions: the title of FREEDOM METAL immediately made me think of the vintage TV commercials for the ‘80s classic-rock compilation album FREEDOM ROCK, starring the two hippies, and made me imagine an updated version advertising this album, with a leather jacketed mullethead saying to his buddy, “Hey man, is that FREEDOM METAL? Well, TURN IT UP MAN!” (Haha!) Though B.O.T.D. has four previous full-lengths and a number of split releases under their belts I was unfamiliar with the Chicago-based band until FREEDOM METAL landed in my mailbox. From looking at the picture of the four burly, bearded dudes on the back of this CD, I half expected them to be some sort of death metal or ‘core combo, but the music that soared from my speakers turned out to be old-school metal that’s more 1979 than 2009, containing eight tunes which zip along as quickly as the motorcycle racers escaping from the police on the CD’s front cover. Bible of the Devil are quite similar to such retro-minded bands as Widow, The Sword, and (to a lesser extent) 3 Inches of Blood. This is good, catchy stuff with a distinct NWOBHM/doom vibe to it, owing a lot to DiAnno era Maiden, Sabbath, Trouble and the like. Though vocalist Mark Hoffman’s nasally voice took some getting used to at first, I soon found myself jamming to tracks like the killer opener “Hijack the Night” and “The Turning Stone.” The catchiest song to my ears was the total Thin Lizzy worship of “Ol’ Girl” -- I actually skimmed through the Thin Lizzy discography listings on Wikipedia looking for a mention of this song, thinking that it might be a cover tune, but couldn’t find it, so I guess it’s an original. FREEDOM METAL is a killer burst of classic metal fury that should warm the hearts and raise the studded leather gauntlets of throwback headbangers worldwide. Give this one a spin.

I should have some new ones up in this piece within the next week, including reviews of Mainline Riders (sorry it's taking so long, Cliffy!) Beatallica, and one or two others.

Fat Freddy wrote:

I should have some new ones up in this piece within the next week, including reviews of Mainline Riders (sorry it's taking so long, Cliffy!) Beatallica, and one or two others.

Here it is nearly two weeks later and still no new reviews... Gawd, I'm so full of crap....

Nah, seriously, I just have no time management skills. Stay tuned folks, they're comin' I swear!!!

No friends, your eyes are not deceiving you... Fat Freddy has actually written some new reviews!!


EXILIA– MY OWN ARMY (C+) AFM Records, 2009
12 Tracks (13^th hidden), RT: 49:43

This Italian modern metal act seems like an odd signing for the usually traditional metal minded AFM label (home of U.D.O., Brainstorm, Doro, and many more old schoolers) but I suppose I can’t blame’em for trying to grab a piece of the “youth market” that the female fronted four piece will doubtlessly appeal to. Four albums into their career, Exilia still looks like your typical bunch of tattooed-n-pierced Korn-fed kids (note to the band: that look is sooooo 1999, gang!), but MY OWN ARMY thankfully displayed more melody and less hip-hop than I was dreading when I first fed the CD into the player. MY OWN ARMY may not be as painful as I was expecting but Exilia are still fairly generic. I’ll grant that “Masha” is suitably mad-at-the-world sounding during the aggressive stuff and occasionally she even seems to have a pretty decent singing voice during the moments when she’s not barking angrily (i.e. “Far From the Dark” and the title track). Some of the songs (“The Hunter” and “I’m Perfect” in particular) actually achieve a pretty decent melodic groove, sounding kinda like Lacuna Coil’s pissed off kid sister. The pick of the litter here would be the out-of-left-field cover of the Phil Collins ‘80s classic “In The Air Tonight” (!!), which actually works much better than you’d expect it to in a modern rock context (though unforgivably, Exilia fails to re-create the classic pounding “DOOT-DOOT, DOOT-DOOT, DOOT-DOOT, DOOT-DOOT, BAM-BAM!” drum fill in the song’s midsection!) Not completely horrible yet not something I would go out of my way to recommend, MY OWN ARMY will likely continue to please the band’s European fan base but I doubt it’s going to make much of a dent on this side of the ocean.

MAINLINE RIDERS – WORLDSHAKER (B) Retroactive Records, 2009
12 Tracks, RT: 53:14

Mainline Riders guitarist Cliffy Powell used to be a member of the legendary Christian pop-punk band The Huntingtons, where he wanted to be Johnny Ramone. Now on the second CD from his current unit, it seems that he wants to be either Angus or Malcolm Young. (That’s not a slam, by the way. The man kicks ass in both bands.) While the Huntingtons represented good ol’ fashioned “one-two-three-four” punk rock in its purest form, Mainline Riders play blues-influenced “bar room” rock and roll, packed with passion and catchier than the H1N1 virus. I missed the band’s debut album, 2007’s SHOT IN THE DARK, but the reviews I’ve read of it indicated that it was a pretty solid slab of 80s style hard rock in the G-N-R vein. Those comparisons still hold water, but it would seem that the addition of new vocalist Shawn Edward Browning, whose vocal similarities to Bon Scott are almost creepy at times, has upped the AC/DC quotient of Mainline Riders’ sound in a big way, and as a lifelong fan of the Thunder from Down Under, that’s just fine by me. All twelve of these songs (save for the heartfelt ballad “Comin’ Home,” which is a slice of acoustic tinged goodness ala “Simple Man” by the tremendously underrated Junkyard) are in-your-face, pounding anthems made for singing along to. Starting with the infectious opener “It All Ends Tonight” straight through to the closing crunch of “It’s A Revolution,” big choruses and power chords are the order of the day here! Lovers of Bon Scott era AC/DC and any of their spiritual descendents (i.e. Dirty Looks, Kix, Airbourne, Rhino Bucket, Broken Teeth, etc.) and L.A.-style strip rockers like L.A. Guns and Faster Pu$$ycat (to name just a few) are definitely gonna dig WORLDSHAKER. X-Sinner may have owned the “Christian version of AC/DC” mantle for a very long time now, but in my estimation (whatever that might be worth), WORLDSHAKER wipes X-Sinner’s uber-disappointing “comeback” album (last year’s WORLD COVERED IN BLOOD) completely off the map and if the band were to get the right push, I think that Mainline Riders would definitely appeal to more than a few fans on the “other” side of the Christian rock fence. WORLDSHAKER is simply good, honest, blue-collar rock and roll that deserves a listen.


BEATALLICA – MASTERFUL MYSTERY TOUR (A) Oglio Records, 2009
12 Tracks, RT: 43:07

Sometimes being a wanna-be amateur music journalist has its perks. When I arrived home after a particularly sh*tty day at work a while ago and found a promotional copy of Beatallica’s new album in my mail box, I practically did a dance of joy. Not everybody “gets” Beatallica’s unique formula of combining vintage Beatles and classic Metallica into all-new compositions, but I’d absolutely loved the band’s debut album (2007’s still hilarious SGT. HETFIELD’S MOTORBREATH PUB BAND) and was stoked to hear what new concoctions the Beatalli-bangers had cooked up since their last disc. It took only a few spins of MASTERFUL MYSTERY TOUR to decide that YES, this is a top notch follow up that may even surpass the debut…in short, if you liked the last CD, you’re bound to enjoy this one just as much, if not more. Hell, if you can’t at least crack a smile at song titles like “Everybody’s Got A Ticket To Ride Except For Me and My Lightning” or “Got To Get You Trapped Under Ice” then you are seriously humor impaired. Opening track “The Battery of Jaymz and Yoko” proceeds to crush, kill and destroy posers followed by eleven more tunes, some of which are re-recorded “hits” from the band’s unsigned days (“I Want To Choke Your Band” and “And I’m Evil?”, which features a hilarious Glenn Danzig impersonator in the middle, being my favorite of these) coupled with a fistful of new mash-ups like the soon-to be-classic “Fuel on the Hill,” (which I like better than either Metallica’s “Fuel” or the Beatles’ “Fool on the Hill!”) “Hero of the Day Tripper” (bwahahahahaha!) and my personal favorite, the closing epic “Tomorrow Never Comes,” which seamlessly combines the Beatles’ “Tomorrow Never Knows” and DEATH MAGNETIC’s “The Day That Never Comes” into something that’s cooler than either of its source materials. As I said in my review of SGT. HETFIELD’S in this very ‘zine two years ago, these guys deserve respect because unlike most “joke bands” they don’t half-ass it. They are talented players and they could probably whip up a pretty serious old school thrash album of their own if they really wanted to, but hey, if they’d rather dress up in funny costumes and write goofy songs that’ll make Cliff Burton, John Lennon and George Harrison turn over in their collective graves instead, who am I to judge? (Though actually, I bet all three of those guys would find this band as hilarious as I do.) There’s really nothing more to say except that Beatallica have successfully beaten the dreaded “sophomore slump” and they are surely going to find themselves near the top of my “Best of” list yet again at the end of this year. Blow up, blow up for the MYSTERY TOUR!

I have to pick up Cliffy's album

I really dig the new Main Line Riders CD.

Excellent job as usual and I am now curious about Beatallica and Mainline Riders

Beatallica put a link on their Facebook page to my review of their CD on Detritus' MySpace a couple of days ago. That was a pretty nice ego stroke. Usually the only time I get any feedback from a band is if I trash their CD and they send me hate mail.

You've made me interested in Beatallica. I wrote them off as a joke.

TheNazgul wrote:

You've made me interested in Beatallica. I wrote them off as a joke.

I have to agree, before I read your review I dismissed them as a crap band now I am curious to hear them, which is what well written review should make you want to do. As usual, job well done sir.

Hey, that's cool. I hope you guys dig 'em when you check'em out.

New stuff!


DOMINANCE – RESURRECTED (B+) Divebomb/Tribunal, 2009
10 Tracks, RT: 43:47 (plus enhanced video)

Damn, this is some killer stuff! Can you say “old school thrash,” boys and girls? Uncle Keith sure can! RESURRECTED is an awesome new release from Divebomb Records, an imprint of Tribunal Records dedicated to reissuing “lost” rock and metal albums/demos from days gone by. For the unfamiliar (which included me till this disc arrived in my mailbox), Philadelphia-based Dominance was a five piece thrash band that rose from the ashes of local faves Anvil B*tch (who released one album, RISE TO OFFEND, on New Renaissance Records back in ’86). The band released two demos under the Dominance name (1988 and 1990) and were apparently quite a draw on the Philly/South Jersey/Delaware club scene back in the day, opening for a number of big-name thrash bands and contributing a track to a METAL MASSACRE compilation album before the musical tides changed and the band slid back into obscurity. However, Dominance made enough of an impact on Tribunal Records honcho/Killwhitneydead vocalist Matthew Rudzinski’s life that he has decided to give their two demos (plus some additional live footage on an enhanced-CD portion) a long overdue official release (limited to 1000 copies), and what a treat it is. RESURRECTED packs a wallop, with ten tracks of tight, riffy thrash that should please fans of Flotsam & Jetsam, Overkill, Testament and Exodus, with a singer that brings back memories of the greatly missed Mike Howe of Metal Church. In short, this band frickin’ ripped!! How they weren’t snapped up by one of the big indie metal labels at the time is a mystery to me, because they definitely had the goods. What set Dominance apart from the hordes of other thrashin’ bands of the day was their unique (for the time period) use of sound samples in their songs. Though it’s fairly commonplace nowadays, not many bands were using clips from political speeches, religious sermons, TV/movie dialogue, etc. in their songs back then, except as intros. Dominance sprinkled them liberally throughout their tunes (beginning, middle, and end), making the samples an integral part of each song, and it definitely gives these rippin’ slabs of thrash their own unique flavor. I especially dug the amazingly catchy “This Is Only A Test,” but “Dreams of Supremacy,” “New Annihilation” and the title track got my head bangin’ and my air guitar goin’ as well. Even if you’ve never heard Dominance before, the combination of the killer music and the informative CD booklet (which features a lengthy interview with guitarists John Plumley and John Hebert about the band’s history, plus a selection of vintage concert flyers) is bound to stoke the fires of metal nostalgia as soon as you open the CD. I am very impressed with this release and look forward to finding out what other treasures Divebomb Records will be unearthing in the future. Pick this one up!!

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VINDICATOR/METAL WITCH – OUTBREAK OF METAL VOL. I (B+)
Slaney Records, 2009
12 Tracks, RT: 46:19

We all know that old school thrash metal is currently enjoying a resurgence of popularity in the underground, but for every ‘80s minded retro-thrash band like Municipal Waste, 3 Inches of Blood, or Skeletonwitch that makes it to the so-called “big time,” there are still many more unknown acts toiling away around the world. Thankfully there are numerous tiny-but-true upstart labels like Slaney Records to give them an outlet. Slaney Records is a new metal label hailing from the Emerald Isle (that would be Ireland, in case you failed Geography 101) and their debut release is the first of what I assume will be an ongoing series of “split compilation” CDs, each featuring two unsigned bands. (Volume 2 is also available – watch for my review of it soon -- and label head Kieran O’Loughlin is already seeking bands for volume 3, so if you’re a thrasher looking to get your music heard, shoot him an e-mail.) Ohio’s Vindicator kick this first volume off with a potent mix of Slayer/Destruction style mayhem on their half dozen tracks, grabbing the listener instantly by the throat with the killer opener “Dog Beneath The Skin” and ass-kicking “Shock Trauma.” Vocalist Marshall Law (yes, really!) sounds suitably vicious (imagine if Cronos and Paul Baloff had a love child) and the band shows remarkable precision despite the high speed chaos they’re laying down. Vindicator has great taste in cover tunes too, as evidenced by their rip roaring rendition of the Anti-Nowhere League’s punk classic “I Hate People” (so do I!) and a cool version of Indestroy’s “U.S.S.A.”

I already felt sufficiently pummeled after Vindicator’s six tracks of brutality, but then Germany’s Metal Witch picked up the spiked leather gauntlet and ran with it for another six pack. These Witches (not to be confused with Seven Witches, obviously) are a well oiled machine, befitting their veteran status (according to the CD liner notes, this band has been around in one form or another since 1985! Holy crap!!).These guys have a bit more “rock” flavor in their music, bordering on sped-up NWOBHM (as opposed to the openly hostile, “We just wanna kill everything that moves” vibe of Vindicator), with choruses that are actually catchy (see “Believe in the Power of Rock” or “The Count Has Risen From the Grave”) in a charming, cheesy, retro sort of way. While this band is playing I imagine a beer-soaked concert hall packed with hordes of drunken Germans giving them the devil-horn salute! Metal Witch’s last track is a hilariously obscene live song called “Kiss My Ass” (judging from the lyrics, it’s dedicated to a former business associate), proving that this band can throw down on stage just as well as they do in the studio. All of this good friendly violent fun is wrapped in a cool booklet packed with bio/background/contact information for both bands, lyrics to all the songs, and some killer artwork to boot (even an old school “photo collage” under the CD tray!), which is bound to gain both of these bands more than a few MySpace hits and some new fans. OUTBREAK OF METAL VOL. I introduced me to two bands that probably would have passed me by otherwise, and is an excellent start to what I hope will become a long running series of compilations. Horns up for your hard work, Slaney!!

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DEVIL’S WHOREHOUSE – BLOOD & ASHES (B-)
Regain Records, 2009
11 Tracks, RT: 39:45

October is here again, and as we get closer to Halloween I always find myself listening to a lot more of my so-called “creepy” music, i.e. early Black Sabbath, Mercyful Fate, King Diamond, Danzig, and of course the Misfits. Now I’ve got a new band that I can add to that annual rotation in the form of these Swedish horror punks. Devil’s Whorehouse began life as a Misfits/Samhain cover band and features 2 former members of the black metal band Marduk (bassist Roger Svensson, a.k.a. “B. War,” and guitarist Morgan Hakonsson) in their ranks. BLOOD & ASHES is their third CD, though it’s the first to cross my path. Given their origins, it should be pretty obvious what these guys sound like –a pretty blatant mix of the Misfits’ chugging punk sound and the dark, Gothic horror themes of Danzig’s first post-Fits project, Samhain. The vocals certainly do sound a lot like the younger, angrier Glenn Danzig, and the band blasts along nicely on tracks like “Dreams Turn To Blood,” “Werewolf,” and “Shadows Never Change.” No, it’s not original in the slightest but boy is it a whole heck of a lot of fun while it’s playing. The songs are short and sweet enough that the album doesn’t overstay its welcome and considering that Jerry Only now seems content to drag the once-proud Misfits name through the mud fronting a band with anyone he can draft from other old punk bands to fill out the lineup, I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of disappointed Fiends started taking their loyalties over to the Devil’s Whorehouse.