TODAY I WATCHED... (Movies. TV) 2022

"Goin' Coconuts" (1978)

Time for some serious retro crap!
Donny and Marie Osmond play themselves in this hellishly bad 70s comedy/musical/adventure. When the brother and sister duo arrive in Hawaii to perform a concert, Marie is given a necklace by a mysterious man. They spend the rest of the movie being chased all over the islands by a gang of bumbling crooks, who want the necklace because it holds a clue to a lost treasure. TV sitcom level hijinks and terrible musical numbers ensue.
... I'll admit it, I sat through this movie several times on cable when I was a kid, due to my raging pre-teen crush on Marie Osmond. Even then, I thought it was cheap and corny as hell, but when it popped up on YouTube I still couldn't resist pressing "play." It certainly hasn't improved with age!
Legend has it that Marie turned down the role of "Sandy" in "Grease" to make this movie instead. I bet she still kicks herself for that decision on a regular basis.

The Boys

"House Of Wax" (2005)

College kids on a road trip have car trouble near a seemingly abandoned small town. They eventually learn the only two remaining residents are a pair of insane twin brothers who keep their family's roadside wax museum attraction running -- by turning unfortunate travelers into statues.
Pretty typical early 00s teen-horror remake, loosely based on the Vincent Price oldie. It's the kind of movie where the characters are all such morons that they totally deserve everything that happens to them. It's got some cool gooey gore effects, though, and the "wax museum" set design is impressive (esp. at the end when it's all melting and falling in on itself).
The movie is probably best remembered for its casting of then-popular annoying socialite bimbo Paris Hilton in a supporting role, then using the fact that her character dies horribly as a marketing hook ("SEE PARIS DIE!").

Finished up Stranger Things season 4

"Mentors: Kings Of Sleaze Rockumentary" (2018)
The long and bizarre history of El Duce and his merry band of porn rockers is explained in this warts & all documentary that is far more entertaining than it has any right to be, given the subject matter. A total hoot.

Fat Freddy wrote:

"Mentors: Kings Of Sleaze Rockumentary" (2018)
The long and bizarre history of El Duce and his merry band of porn rockers is explained in this warts & all documentary that is far more entertaining than it has any right to be, given the subject matter. A total hoot.

Great documentary!

Beavis & Butthead Do The Universe

Songs For While I'm Away. A documentary on Thin Lizzy's Phil Lynott.

Suzi Q. Documentary about Suzi Quatro.

"Spaceballs" (1987)

The heroic Lone Starr and his half man/half dog sidekick "Barf" rescue a Princess from the evil Dark Helmet and save her planet from destruction by the evil Spaceballs, with a little help from the cosmic mystic "Yogurt," master of "The Schwartz."
I never get tired of Mel Brooks' classic dead-on parody of "Star Wars" and other sci-fi flicks. Still a hoot after all these years.

"Punisher: War Zone" (2008)

The third big screen go-round for the Marvel Comics vigilante finds the Punisher (now played by Ray Stevenson) fighting a war on two fronts: first with the criminal organization run by the crazed "Jigsaw," and also with the FBI, who want him for the murder of an undercover operative. Lotsa bullets fly, things blow up, bones crunch, blood splashes, yadda yadda yadda.
This insanely ultra-violent, gory action flick (which, oddly enough, was directed by a woman!) was the most faithful-to-the-comics "Punisher" adaptation yet, but despite that it tanked at the box office and ended the Punisher movie franchise. Bummer, cuz I wouldn't have minded a few more of these. Mindless shoot'em up fun.

Ms. Marvel finale

Episodes of Three's Company

Finished up Fear The Walking Dead

"Superbad" (2007)

Three high school dorks get invited to the popular girl's end-of-school bash by promising that they can provide the liquor. They spend the rest of the movie getting in and out of a series of absurd situations as they try to make that happen. A pretty standard raunchy teen comedy; I didn't hate it, but it's nothing I would ever watch again.

Since I can't do anything while I recover from cataract surgery I've been sitting around for the last 3 days binge-watching A&E's Biography "WWE Legends" episodes. I watched 90 minutes episodes about Stone Cold, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley, Booker T, Ultimate Warrior, Randy Savage and a bunch more. These docs are very well done with lots of interviews with past and present WWE wrestlers and employees and lots of vintage footage from the small territories where these guys got their starts. Very interesting.

"Me, Myself, And Irene" (2000)

A nice guy Rhode Island state trooper (Jim Carrey) has developed a split personality named "Hank" who takes over when things get tough or stressful. This inner battle becomes extra complicated when he is assigned to escort a lovely witness (Renee Zellweger) back to New York State and they're targeted by mobsters. This utterly ridiculous, totally hilarious slapstick road movie is quite possibly Carrey's most manic, over the top performance EVER, which is really sayin' something. Tons of raunchy fun.  

"The Final Alliance" (aka "Tigerman," 1990)

A mysterious drifter (David Hasselhoff) moves back to his old homestead with his pet puma (yes, you read that correctly), where he immediately gets on the bad side of a vicious biker gang who have taken over the entire town. An unintentionally hilarious slice of direct-to-video action cheese bolted together from parts of "First Blood," "Road House," and about a dozen other cheap shoot'em up flicks. The big cat is a better actor than any of the human cast members.

The first 4 episodes of the Resident Evil series on Netflix

"Bride of Chucky" (1998)

The fourth film in the "Child's Play" franchise takes a hard right turn into wink-wink horror/parody territory. Chucky is resurrected by his old girlfriend Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly, smokin' hot) and the pair hit the road to find him a new human body. Things get complicated when Tiffany winds up trapped in a doll-body of her own.
I hadn't seen this since it first hit video back in the day and it was better than I remembered. It's got a great cast (in addition to Tilly, the late great John Ritter and a pre-"Grey's Anatomy" Katherine Heigl take part in the mayhem), there's plenty of gore and impressive puppetry FX, plus the soundtrack features Judas Priest (Ripper Owens era no less!), Bruce Dickinson, Rob Zombie, Monster Magnet, and more. Hong Kong action director Ronny Yu would go on to direct "Freddy Vs. Jason" based on the success of this flick.

...so do I dare re-visit "Seed Of Chucky," which I hated when I last saw it years ago? Time will tell, I guess.

"KISS: Beyond The Makeup" (2001)

Cool VH1 documentary that covers the first 30 years of KISS history through their 70s rise and fall, their rebirth in the 80s and the historic mid 90s reunion that put them back on top. This is quite out of date now since it was aired to promote the so called "Farewell Tour" in 2000-01 (which turned out to be merely the "Farewell to the original lineup"), but the vintage clips and interviews are still fun to watch.

"The Doors" (1991)

Oliver "Platoon" Stone's lavish bio-pic details the rise and fall of the iconic '60s rock band and their gifted, but deeply troubled, vocalist Jim Morrison. Val Kilmer's portrayal of the Lizard King is a career-peak performance. I'm told that the surviving Doors members weren't exactly thrilled with how this film turned out but for casual viewers it's a fascinating time capsule of the psychedelic Sixties.

Finished Resident Evil

The Thing (1982)



John Carpenter's remake of the 50s classic about an American scientific team in Antarctica dealing with a thawed out alien being capable of limiting any living thing. As tension and paranoia escalate, it soon becomes a matter of life and death, and possibly stopping a total takeover of the Earth. A great cast and story, with excellent old time practical effects. This one never gets old.

The Thing is one of the best movies of all time IMO. It is so well made that it doesn't look dated at all. It looks like it could come out today as a modern film.

Leatherface wrote:

The Thing is one of the best movies of all time IMO. It is so well made that it doesn't look dated at all. It looks like it could come out today as a modern film.

I agree. When I watched the "prequel" that came out several years ago and compared the FX I kept thinking that they really weren't that much better given that over 20 years had gone by.

I think I've seen "The Thing" at least 50 times and it just doesn't get old no matter how many times I've seen it.