My Father Is Dying

Many of you know of my dad's brush with death nearly 10 years ago when he lost his leg after getting run over by a truck. I also mentioned recently about his two bouts with cancer. Despite surviving all that, he is now reaching the end of his life. He had in recent months been losing a lot of weight. Basically he wasn't eating well and would sometimes for get to eat all together. A month ago I was supposed to visit him but he had fallen out of his wheelchair and was hurting quite a bit so we postponed if for a week. When I did visit him, he was fairly weak, but didn't seem to be doing too bad. We had lunch and then had to wait for a jump because the battery in his van died. Then we spent over an hour at Wal-Mart while they installed a new battery. I was going to help him with groceries but was so tired and hurting (it was his pain medication time) that he decided not to do it. He assured me that he would be okay.

A week later I got a text from my sister. He had fallen out of his wheelchair again and this time broke his leg (actually turned out the first fall resulted in some other fractures). He had surgery to fix it but that wasn't all. He also had caught pneumonia and has COPD (putting him on oxygen). He had also become so malnourished he could barely hold a piece of paper. He also had some obstruction in his esophagus which made it difficult to swallow food or water. They were able to give him water but it first had to be thickened to the consistency of honey. They then later put in a feeding tube. They eventually moved him to rehab so we prepared for him to start recovery. With COVID they only allow one visitor at a time (and only two people all together) and that visitor has to be tested first and that test is good only for 7 days. I was prepared to see him next weekend.

Then I got a call Monday telling me that things had gone south. He wasn't lucid and just slept. There was some theory that he was just catching up on sleep (until hospice came in to give him needed pain relief-the rehab would only give him the bare minimum so he was missing out on a lot of sleep). I got a test that day and Tuesday I went to visit. Again he was not lucid and just sleeping, however, he was moaning a lot and squirming. The nurse came in and gave him some more morphine and something to help with with anxiety and he finally fell asleep.

Today I got a call from my sister and it seems his body is shutting down. We have decided to give the DNR order. He is so emaciated if they did perform CPR, it'd crack his chest and he's already suffering enough. They are keeping him comfortable and now he's allowed to have two visitors at a time, no limit to visits. It's the waiting game now. He is somewhat lucid now but he can't keep his eyes open more than a few seconds (probably from the pain medication). My sister has him listening to some books on tape, it seems to calm him. I will visit him as soon as I can but time is short.

I'm sorry to hear this, brother. I can't imagine the emotional turmoil you feel, and I won't patronize you by pretending I do. It may be the natural order, but that doesn't make it any easier, nor any less painful.

Thoughts are with you and your family, mate.

Sorry to hear this. It's a terrible helpless feeling watching your loved one suffer. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 19. My thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

I am so sorry hear this, I can only give you my best wishes and let you know you and your family will be in my thoughts

Sorry to hear that, DB. It's never an easy thing, especially at this time of year.

Terrible news...

May your father find his rest and everlasting peace.

At some point, all we have is our memories.

I'm very sorry to hear this. My thoughts go out to you and your family.

Sorry man, prayers for your Dad and the family.

Thanks everyone, I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers!

Very sorry to hear this news DB.

Crummy news. My sympathies.

Just a little over 12:30 this morning, my father, Richard Ivan Newcomb Jr. left his earthly vessel and has gone home to be with God. Me, my sister, and my mother were there when he drew his final breath. My niece and her fiance were in the lobby (my sister didn't want her in there as that kind of thing can be scary to a young person).

Again, thanks for the thoughts and prayers!

                   

July 2, 1946-December 15, 2020

Sorry for your loss.

Condolences to you and your family, DB.

My condolences

I'm sorry for your loss, mate. Condolences to you and all of your family.

Sorry to hear man, prayers for you and your family

My condolences DB.

DallasBlack wrote:

Just a little over 12:30 this morning, my father, Richard Ivan Newcomb Jr. left his earthly vessel and has gone home to be with God. Me, my sister, and my mother were there when he drew his final breath. My niece and her fiance were in the lobby (my sister didn't want her in there as that kind of thing can be scary to a young person).

Again, thanks for the thoughts and prayers!

                   

July 2, 1946-December 15, 2020

My condolences to you and your family.

My condolences to you and your family.

Sorry for your loss, DallasBlack.

I am sorry for your loss, may your father rest in peace

Thanks a lot everyone, it really means a lot!

Ah man, I didn't see this thread till now. So sorry for your loss man.

RIP

Just saw this thread. Sincere condoleances my friend.

I am sure your dad is in a better place now.