TODAY I WATCHED... (Movies, TV) 2018

"The Amityville Terror" (2016)


A dysfunctional family moves into a creepy old house which, of course, has a dark past. When weird supernatural stuff starts happening, it's up to the teenage daughter to uncover the secrets of the house before it claims her and all of her loved ones. In other words... same sh*t, different movie!

...I've been on an "Amityville" kick lately for some ungodly reason, but wow, this thing was bad. It made "Amityville 3-D" look like the Royal Shakespeare Company.

A quick visit to Wikipedia revealed that this no-budget, community-theater level slab of schlock is part of a recent wave of cheap horror flicks that have no connection to the "official" Amityville franchise, aside from the town's name in the title. So from that, at least I learned that I can safely avoid the other in-name-only "Amityville" knock offs that are floating around my various streaming channels, like "Amityville Theater," "Amityville Asylum," "Amityville Death House," and "Amityville Exorcism."

You have to admire the well-made trailers for dreck like this.  If I had seen that trailer for "Amityville Terror" and I enjoyed haunted house flicks, I would have wanted to see that film in a heartbeat. 

I actually think that more talent goes in to the editing of trailers for crappy, no-budget movies than was involved in any facet of most of those movies themselves.

I've seen a gazillion trailers that make "Movie A" look like a must-see only to find out that the trailer either contained the 2 or 3 scenes that were interesting or worse, glossed over all the other crap you have to sit through to see the interesting parts.

tohostudios wrote:

You have to admire the well-made trailers for dreck like this.  If I had seen that trailer for "Amityville Terror" and I enjoyed haunted house flicks, I would have wanted to see that film in a heartbeat. 

I actually think that more talent goes in to the editing of trailers for crappy, no-budget movies than was involved in any facet of most of those movies themselves.

I've seen a gazillion trailers that make "Movie A" look like a must-see only to find out that the trailer either contained the 2 or 3 scenes that were interesting or worse, glossed over all the other crap you have to sit through to see the interesting parts.

I had no idea that there were so many "new" Amityville movies out there till recently. I guess since "Amityville" is the name of an actual place, anybody can use it in a movie title and get some cheap name recognition, even when their film has no connection to the "real" Amityville series. In this movie, the "haunted" house doesn't even look like "the" house that everyone is familiar with, and there are no references to the Lutz family, the DeFeos, etc. I guess whoever holds the rights to the "real" Amityville franchise must own those concepts as well.

Just to confuse the issue further, a new addition to the "official" Amityville series was released just a few years ago ("Amityville: The Awakening"), and that one was actually a pretty decent watch.

"Alex Cross" (2012)

James Patterson's Detroit police detective (played by Morgan Freeman in two late '90s films) returns in this 21st century "reboot" attempt with Tyler Perry taking over the title role. This time out Cross has to stop a psychotic hit man (a supremely creepy Matthew Fox of "Lost") who's picking off some of the city's richest, most powerful business tycoons.
Though he's known mainly for goofball comedies and family dramas, Tyler Perry was surprisingly well suited for the film's fast-paced action sequences -- his portrayal of Cross is actually truer to the Patterson novels than Freeman's was.
I enjoyed this one but apparently ticket buyers weren't ready to accept "Madea" as an action hero, so the flick tanked at the box office and the planned sequels were cancelled. Too bad.

Watched the Celebrity Roast of Bruce Willis last night. Then watched Roast Battle after that.

Alice
Barney Miller

Since Nick Kingham and Stephen Brault have the Cubs 6 runs in 2 innings, I started watching watching Friday the 13th:The Series from the 80s. Good stuff.

Cloak And Dagger season finale

Fat Freddy wrote:

"Alex Cross" (2012)

James Patterson's Detroit police detective (played by Morgan Freeman in two late '90s films) returns in this 21st century "reboot" attempt with Tyler Perry taking over the title role. This time out Cross has to stop a psychotic hit man (a supremely creepy Matthew Fox of "Lost") who's picking off some of the city's richest, most powerful business tycoons.
Though he's known mainly for goofball comedies and family dramas, Tyler Perry was surprisingly well suited for the film's fast-paced action sequences -- his portrayal of Cross is actually truer to the Patterson novels than Freeman's was.
I enjoyed this one but apparently ticket buyers weren't ready to accept "Madea" as an action hero, so the flick tanked at the box office and the planned sequels were cancelled. Too bad.

All I can think of when I think of Tyler Perry is this:

I have finally finished all 12 seasons of 'NYPD Blue'

Required Fields wrote:

All I can think of when I think of Tyler Perry is this:

I thought the same when my wife suggested we watch Alex Cross. I was like "The 'Madea' guy? Seriously?" Haha. But I gotta give credit where it's due, he did a decent job playing Alex. I've read a couple of James Patterson's Cross novels and never felt that Morgan Freeman was the right guy to play the character. In the books Alex is about 40, he's a father of two young kids, and his sassy elderly Mom lives with them since Alex lost his wife. None of those supporting characters were in the previous Cross films cuz Morgan Freeman was already way older than 40.

"Coffy" (1973)


One of the all-time great blaxploitation flicks! Pam Grier is "Coffy," an E.R. nurse by day who turns vigilante by night, seeking revenge on the dope pushers, pimps and gangsters who turned her kid sister into a smack addict and put her nice-guy cop boyfriend in a coma. As usual there are lotsa gun battles, car chases, and beat downs but the epic cat fight scene where Pam takes on a gang of hookers in the middle of a swanky party (lots of torn dresses = exposed boobs galore!) makes this one required sleaze viewing. A ton of funky retro fun!

manny wrote:

I have finally finished all 12 seasons of 'NYPD Blue'

I used to love that show back in the day; it was "cutting edge" for it's time.  How's it hold up?

Last night:

Justice League

I went into this one with VERY low expectations. I was actually moderately surprised; it was much better than BvS. The CGI of the villain was pretty piss poor, but that seems to be the case with all of the DC movies. I liked Ezra Miller's Flash quite a bit. Not sure how I feel about "bro-ing" up Aquaman… All in all, I liked it (but nothing DC has done yet can touch the best of Marvel's offerings).

Ring of Honor

SideShowDisaSter wrote:

Last night:

Justice League

I went into this one with VERY low expectations.  I was actually moderately surprised; it was much better than BvS.  The CGI of the villain was pretty piss poor, but that seems to be the case with all of the DC movies.  I liked Ezra Miller's Flash quite a bit.  Not sure how I feel about "bro-ing" up Aquaman… All in all, I liked it (but nothing DC has done yet can touch the best of Marvel's offerings).

Get used to it because the same actor is playing Aquaman in the upcoming movie.

The only reason I even know is because Jason Momoa is in Stargate: Atlantis halfway through the show's run and I'm watching all those episodes now.  As soon as I saw the trailer for Aquaman I said, "Hey, that the SG Atlantis guy!".

For the past couple of nights I've been working my way through all six episodes of the short-lived "Clerks: The Animated Series" via TUBI-TV (free streaming service). ABC only aired two episodes before they canceled the show back in 2000. I think I may have seen the premiere when it first aired back then (it looked vaguely familiar) but the rest of these were new to me. Pretty funny stuff.

Wow, I love Clerks the movie but that show just looks stupid.

tohostudios wrote:

Wow, I love Clerks the movie but that show just looks stupid.

(shrugs) I got a few yuks out of it, but I can see why it was cancelled so quickly... Kevin Smith's style of humor obviously doesn't translate very well to network TV standards.

In the final episode (Dante and Randall went to Comic-Con, where all the "Clerks" fans bitched to them that the cartoon sucked cuz it was "nothing like the movie"), Dante even sez something along the lines of "remember when we just stood around, cursing like sailors and discussing the minutiae of pop culture?"

^^ after finishing the animated series, naturally I wanted to revisit the movie:

"Clerks" (1994)

Dante and Randal are two slackers who work in a New Jersey convenience store and its neighboring video shop. As they spend a hellish day on the job dealing with weirdo customers and constant interruptions, they discuss their past and present relationships and dissect pop culture trivia while venting their frustrations with their lives in general.

Kevin Smith's hilarious, foul mouthed micro-budget debut (shot in black and white at the same South Jersey grocery store that Smith himself worked in during the daytime) is mandatory viewing if you were a disaffected, surly twenty-something in the early '90s, if you ever worked in retail, or if you grew up in New Jersey. I happen to fulfill all three of those requirements, so this flick will never get old for me.

I worked in retail so I can definitely relate to how those guys feel. I also grew up in Eastern PA (near Philly) so I also relate to the NJ ethos.


I think my favorite scene is where the cat runs across the counter.  "Cute cat.  What's his name?"  "Annoying Customer"

Although "37?!?!?!" is good too.  "In a row?"

tohostudios wrote:

I worked in retail so I can definitely relate to how those guys feel. I also grew up in Eastern PA (near Philly) so I also relate to the NJ ethos.


I think my favorite scene is where the cat runs across the counter.  "Cute cat.  What's his name?"  "Annoying Customer"

Although "37?!?!?!" is good too.  "In a row?"

My 15 year old came downstairs for a snack while I was watching it, and he sat and watched with me for about twenty minutes... I thought he was gonna choke during the "37" scene, haha

I watched that scene again on Youtube after I posted that and I STILL laughed out loud multiple times.  I love the way it ends.

"Get back here!"

tohostudios wrote:

The only reason I even know is because Jason Momoa is in Stargate: Atlantis halfway through the show's run and I'm watching all those episodes now.  As soon as I saw the trailer for Aquaman I said, "Hey, that the SG Atlantis guy!".

He was more recently in the first season of Game of Thrones. That's where I know him from.