Metal Pet Peeves

We all need a soapbox to bitch upon every now and then, so post your greatest metal pet peeves; whether it's the fans, the music, or whatever.

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1. Bands that release too many songs prior to the release of a new album, so much for leaving something to the imagination. I think a maximum of two is reasonable: a song with a shit-load of hooks, and a radio-friendly chorus; and a song that encompasses all the variety or tone of the album.

2. People that still go around calling others posers like it's 1985, while dressed in denim, leather, bullet belts and high-tops.

3. Bands that are still singing about zombies and beer, when there's bigger fish to fry in 2015. So many wasted lyrical opportunities.

4. Any song with "thrash" or "metal" in the title.

5. Bands who write unnecesarily long songs just for the sake of having long songs (Metallica).

6. Band apologists - people who are physically incapable of criticizing their favorite bands when they release shit albums. Don't worry, Bruce Dickinson and Tony Iommi aren't going to disown you.

7. (Extremist) Pantera fans "WALK ON HOME, BOY!"

8. People who think non-metal bands are metal bands.

9. Out-of-print albums, and the defunct labels that hold the rights hostage so no one else can re-release it.

10. People that just have to stylize a band's name in a weird way because they have an unusual logo. VoiVoD!1!1!

11. Bands who opt to only release EP's.

12. People who suck at genre classification. No, Ghost B.C. isn't a black metal band.

13. Excessive use of acronyms, especially in the case of crossover thrash bands. The most ridiculous being Y.B. by M.O.D.

14. Progressive/technical metal bands with the high-pitched vocalists that sound like they're just singing lyrics from a cue-card, treating actual melody as an afterthought. (No Exit)

15. People who waste their time reviewing metal classics, when said album already has 40+ reviews.

16. Worst of all, people who give albums like "Rust in Peace" a 10%. I can tolerate people with goofy opinions, but most of the time, it seems they just do this to ruin the streak of 100 percents that are submitted.

17. Those Metallica vs. Megadeth fuckheads. I was reading a comment on The Lords of Summer video, where a guy with a Vic Rattlehead avatar was saying how much he hated the song; followed by a horde of Metallica fans spamming: "BUT BUT BUT MEGADETH HAZ POOPER COLLIDER!1!1!1!"

18. Hero worship - It's horrible that Chuck Schuldiner died, but to take it upon yourself to spam "RIP CHUCK!" on EVERY. SINGLE. DEATH. SONG. is ridiculous. Speaking of Pantera fans, those f*ckers need therapy to learn some coping mechanisms or something; because 11 years later, they're still taking Dime's loss a bit hard.

19. Excessive bashing of Christianity. Put your fedora away, Onslaught.

20. Metallica bashers who cite them as sellouts because they put out a few successful hard-rock albums. Very few thrash bands stayed on course in the 90's, and didn't flirt with other genres. These piss-babies are just mad because Metallica didn't suck at it (for the most part, anyway.) Most of these kids were born into that era of Metallica in the first place, so their feelings of alienation are unfounded.

21. People who waste their time bashing Justin Bieber and rap fans on YouTube. Why do you think you can convert teenage girls with links to Obituary songs? Do you really want them walking around in Dark Angel and Bathory t-shirts?

22. People who think their kvlt-card is gonna get revoked because they listen to music outside the genre of metal.

DakotaRogers wrote:

8. People who think non-metal bands are metal bands.

12. People who suck at genre classification. No, Ghost B.C. isn't a black metal band.

I got into some nasty situations over these.

Lists of complaints.

TheGreatDuck wrote:

DakotaRogers wrote:

8. People who think non-metal bands are metal bands.

12. People who suck at genre classification. No, Ghost B.C. isn't a black metal band.

I got into some nasty situations over these.

People who live or die by their particular genre classifications and don't understand that genre definitions are constantly in a state of flux.

As has been stated here ad infinitum: There are really only two genres, stuff that you think sucks and stuff you like; other than that it's all subjective and isn't worth getting your panties in a wad over.

tohostudios wrote:

TheGreatDuck wrote:

DakotaRogers wrote:

8. People who think non-metal bands are metal bands.

12. People who suck at genre classification. No, Ghost B.C. isn't a black metal band.

I got into some nasty situations over these.

People who live or die by their particular genre classifications and don't understand that genre definitions are constantly in a state of flux.

As has been stated here ad infinitum:  There are really only two genres, stuff that you think sucks and stuff you like; other than that it's all subjective and isn't worth getting your panties in a wad over.

.............

14. Progressive/technical metal bands with the high-pitched vocalists that sound like they're just singing lyrics from a cue-card, treating actual melody as an afterthought. (No Exit)

Ha! I listened to that album last night, It's been a favorite of mine pretty much since it was released but I came to the realization during "the Ivory Gate of Dreams" that it seemed like they were trying to cram too many lyrics/ verses in too short of a space. Some nearly overlap with each other.

9. Out-of-print albums, and the defunct labels that hold the rights hostage so no one else can re-release it.

This annoys me as I don't "collect" music, I "listen" to it so I don't care how much actual cash value my collection has or doesn't. I want a CD copy of Malice "crazy in the Night" EP b/c I like them and it's got some cool tunes, not b/c it's worth a fifty spot on the bay.

Lots of good points there, Dakota, just be careful with number 8.

S.D. wrote:

Lists of complaints.  

Ha! You beat me to it!

Anyway, I agree with some of these. I would say the fans annoy me more than the bands in most cases.

9. Out-of-print albums, and the defunct labels that hold the rights hostage so no one else can re-release it.


Even though they aren't "defunct", Elektra would not allow Flotsam to use the master tapes for their No Place for Disgrace album. Originally, they were planning to remix it. The subsequent remake they recorded was terribly lackluster IMO.

Quote :

Speaking of Pantera fans, those f*ckers need therapy to learn some coping mechanisms or something; because 11 years later, they're still taking Dime's loss a bit hard.

As proof of the above, I would like to share this post I saw in a "Metal" Facebook group just yesterday...I wish to stress that I am NOT MAKING THIS UP.

I am reproducing it exactly the way I found it, with all of the spelling errors and awkward sentence structure intact... because I think it's funny.

dumbass wrote:

Do you believe in ghosts
Would you all like to know something
Turns out Dimebag Darrell still plays on in spirit (literally) at the place where he was shot people have reported strange phenomenon fans of bands there have photographed the bands and had orbs show up in certain areas of the stage after closing time staff have heard faint guitaring and a deep mans voice apparently a god smack fan got kicked by what they believe to be Dimebags ghost there you go folks he's still playing in spirit even his brother claims he's had some strange events happen to him
Seamingly bands when practicing have said there equipment has went funny one band said when they finished practice a mans voice was heard in the microphone

I couldn't help myself, I responded "If Dimebag's spirit were still around, I think he would find better things to do with his time than hang around that dump in Columbus... like haunting the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders locker room"

The only one of those things that actually affects me is the out-of-print CD thing.

I engage with people regarding metal (or music of any genre) so little in my daily life these days. Posting here is mainly the only place I actually discuss anything or read comments. And most people here, I'd say, don't do a lot of the fan-based pet peeves listed. Certainly there is some of it from some people. Certainly the genre definition thing has been argued time and again, in various ways (like in any thread where someone refers to a band as AOR).

I kinda like when people are band apologists, even if I don't like the band or think the record sucks. There are some bands people could say I'm an apologist regarding, but I mean--I listen to the records and I like them...even if someone else doesn't. Even if no one else does. So...I'm not gonna pretend I dislike an unpopular record just so I don't appear to be an apologist? It's possible that sometimes those people never think that band released a shit album. Since you mention Iommi, I will go with that one. I do not think Sabbath ever released a bad album. And, in fact, I think that all of them are quite good. Not just mediocre or okay or whatever, but good. Some very good. Some great. I don't see anything wrong with that. I'm not trying to make you listen to Forbidden.

Also...people fight over whether Metallica or Megadeth is better? I didn't know there was any contest. Metallica is obviously far superior to Megadeth. Heh.

But f'real, seems weird to just not like both bands.

My primary pet peeve could really apply to any genre, but a lot of the points above can be summed up neatly here:

Fans and bands that have no sense of humor about themselves.

Quote :

Fans and bands that have no sense of humor about themselves.

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING we have a winnah.

Troublezone wrote:

9. Out-of-print albums, and the defunct labels that hold the rights hostage so no one else can re-release it.


Even though they aren't "defunct", Elektra would not allow Flotsam to use the master tapes for their No Place for Disgrace album. Originally, they were planning to remix it. The subsequent remake they recorded was terribly lackluster IMO.

Correction: Flotsam And Jetsam COULDN'T AFFORD the licensing fee Elektra wanted to use the tapes.

I'd like to add the treatment of music collecting by a lot of music fans today. Like, I drop by the music store after school to buy an album during the hour or so I have before my bus, then go the bus station where I see some acquaintances. When they notice I bought a CD, I get blank stares and comments such as "Man you're not normal, why do you waste money on this when you can get it off the internet for free???"

One of the guys who made such comments allegedly spent like 100$ or so buying alcohol for his friends on a night out in a club.

1. Stuff that's made of silver - Why in 2015 would you want stuff that's made out of a metal that you constantly have to clean and polish to stop it looking like crap!! 

S.D. wrote:

Troublezone wrote:

9. Out-of-print albums, and the defunct labels that hold the rights hostage so no one else can re-release it.


Even though they aren't "defunct", Elektra would not allow Flotsam to use the master tapes for their No Place for Disgrace album. Originally, they were planning to remix it. The subsequent remake they recorded was terribly lackluster IMO.

Correction:  Flotsam And Jetsam COULDN'T AFFORD the licensing fee Elektra wanted to use the tapes.

That still boggles my mind that all these labels want such an exorbitant amount for licensing fees but plan on doing nothing with them otherwise. What good does that do for anyone ?

The record labels don't want anyone making a profit off the material they own but themselves.  However, if the sales potential for a reissue doesn't meet the minimum quota for their reissue program they are perfectly willing to sit on it for decades.  If a band or reissue label can meet their price then they'll happily hand over the tapes...but if you can't afford it, they could care less, they are already paying for the storage.  

That's why bands with a good budget (like Metallica for example) bought their masters back from the record labels.  But only the top selling artists can afford it.  

The post-Kyuss band "Unida" recorded an album for Def American that was never released, when they inquired about buying the masters so they could release it themselves they were told it would cost $100,000.  And that's how much they charge for an album that was never and will never be released...imagine the cost if it was a record that had sold some actual copies back in the 80s?

I'm glad there are more and more examples of labels not up their own butts over stuff like this...

This is a sort of bizarre thinking, "Let's keep bleeding cash to store this crap until someone pays our absurd price to license it instead of making a little money now on a more modestly-priced license."

Many bands now finance their own recordings and only work with record labels for distribution that way they retain possession of their own masters. If the record company pays for the recording...they own it.

My problem is the masculine fascism of metal, the mean and stereotypically angry attitude where everybody has to be rowdy, gruff and 'badass'. No attempt to intermingle the eloquent or feminine psyche into the heavy and energetic side of the music. The closest I can think of who really shines in this regard in X Japan. Then you had Janne da Arc who were not metal but definitely influenced by it with some rather sensitive J-pop stuff. Some of the 90's visual bands also produced some heavily metal influenced material and were often combining the elegant with the edgy. But I think there were more foreign artists willing to distance themselves from the macho mentality because the subculture and its connotations to those ideologies are not as strong or even present in their country. Still, some of the symphonically-based groups like Sonata Arctica could be said to have some of that in them too.

Hell, with the advances bands used to get, that more didn't build their own studios is mind boggling...

As for the masculine/feminine, that's kind of a subtle dynamic to get across in music that tends to opt for the opposite of subtle. Hell, when I saw Stolen Babies opening for Devin Townsend, their frontwoman is probably a foot shorter than me, was dressed up in a sort of goth lolita style and played the accordion and I still felt like she could have kicked my ass into next Tuesday. I'm with you on the hyper-masculine Manowar crap (see my note about bands with no sense of humor about themselves), but I think metal in general is a pretty aggressive and masculine style of music to begin with, so you can't really do dainty, feminine or even androgynous easily...

Manowar has no humor about themselves?

TheGreatDuck wrote:

Manowar has no humor about themselves?

Actually, can anyone answer that? I can't tell if they're in on the joke or not...

Runicen wrote:

TheGreatDuck wrote:

Manowar has no humor about themselves?

Actually, can anyone answer that?  I can't tell if they're in on the joke or not...

I would wager that Manowar has a great sense of humor about themselves. And it's their fans that take the whole thing way too seriously. I do love Manowar though. They are one of the few metal bands right now that don't get skipped when they pop up in shuffle. Always in the mood for the 'War.