Anyone married/raising family with little time for metal music?

I guess I'm lucky. I have a 9 & 13 year old, been married 15 years next week. My wife & girls can't stand 90% of my stuff but they never complain about the racket coming from the mancave! I also get to listen as loud as I want at work so I guess I'm in the 5% that has it better now than when I was young, I can afford the music now!

i did get some serious tunes listening time in today while mowing the lawn

If only I didn't live in a duplex.

James B. wrote:

corplhicks wrote:

Thanks for the welcome, which part of Cali did you hail from? .

So. Calif till 1990 ish then it was up to Sacramento area. Modesto has/had a decent scene. Saw Sabbat, Hirax, Y & T, and MSG there in like 2009 or there abouts.

Sabbat in Modesto? Why wasn't I informed! I would've been at any of those shows. Fresno used to be hot but when we lost KRZR there was little marketing ops for the promoters. The only time we get any rock shows is when the fair comes around, and they're usually in the vein of REO or Styx. Meh.

I'm up in Sac 3-4 times a month for work. Missed Testament and Overkil in Feb. Yup, my oldest had a fever.

I am married. I raised two awesome kids. My son is moved out and married. My daughter is in college as biology major with hope to become a doctor. I'm proud of them both.

Through their childhood and school years, I managed to maintain a metal website, sing in a metal band and listen to a lot of music. Of course I have a job that allows me to listen to music while I work, which helps. At the same time, I was at their sporting events, church activities, birthday parties, family events, holidays, and all the other stuff you do with your kids. My daughter and I even worked out together five days a week for several years. It was a busy time in my life, but I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

Scott, thanks for sharing; I've been curious about how you managed Ultimatum and nolife while raising two kids. That's basically the kind of thing I'd like to pursue, which seems impossible now. Perhaps it happens when they're older?

As a guitarist, starting a thrash band is no. 1 on my bucket list.

Wow, I haven't even thought about marriage or having kids yet, i'm still working my way through college so i've got a pretty good amount of free time for music. Though now I find I rarely listen to an album from start to finish like I used to, I tend to spend more time watching movies/TV shows and playing video games then listening to music. I never owned anything like 100 albums though, the most I ever had at one time was a few dozen.

I don't really pay attention to all the hot new bands though, I prefer 80s rock. I like Maiden but they're not really one of my favorite bands.

I dunno if I would say the "overwhelming majority" of women despise metal, most of the women i've known in my life were metalheads to at least some degree.

Quote :

I don't really pay attention to all the hot new bands though, I prefer 80s rock.

I stopped trying to keep up with the "newest and tr00est" metal bands a long time ago.

A friend and I (a fellow aging metal doofus like me) were discussing this the other day, and how it's affected our CD collecting habit.

Most of the newer bands coming out do nothing for us, or at least they don't seem to ignite the same fanaticism that our old favorites used to (i.e. we might be moved to buy one of their CDs, but few, if any, have ignited the "Oh my GOD, this band is abso-effen-lutely brilliant, I must own every single note of music that they've ever recorded" reaction). On the other hand, when it comes to the old standby bands, we've already completed our collections of pretty much everything we're ever gonna need from them (unless they come out with a new release, or we start digging into live bootlegs/import CD singles and other minutia)... so both of us have ended up going back and digging into bands we've always been "casual" fans of in the past but have never had time to explore in depth. For example, I've been piling up lotsa stuff by Deep Purple, Cheap Trick, Death Angel, Tesla, and several other "old" bands over the past couple of years. I always liked these bands back in the day, but had never bothered to start going "all-in" when it came to collecting their stuff. In the case of a band like Deep Purple, who seem to have about 27,000 albums in their discography, there's enough there to keep me busy for the rest of my collecting life.

There are a few new bands I like, such as Halestorm. I'll also admit to liking some modern rock like Nickelback.

Vexer6 wrote:

There are a few new bands I like, such as Halestorm. I'll also admit to liking some modern rock like Nickelback.

OUCH!!

jettafiend wrote:

Vexer6 wrote:

There are a few new bands I like, such as Halestorm. I'll also admit to liking some modern rock like Nickelback.

OUCH!!

My brother in law (who's nine years younger than me) is a big Nickelback fan. He's a mechanic so when we're hangin' out in his garage doing work on my wife's car, or whatever, he'll go "Here, I'll put on something heavy for you" aaaaaand... here comes the Nickelback. He's totally mystified as to why I don't dig them at all. I guess he figures since they're loud and sometimes "heavy," I should own all their CDs.

He also digs I.C.P. (for some unGodly reason)... if I had to choose between the two I'd rather listen to Nickelback, but that's not exactly high praise, is it?

Fat Freddy wrote:

jettafiend wrote:

Vexer6 wrote:

There are a few new bands I like, such as Halestorm. I'll also admit to liking some modern rock like Nickelback.

OUCH!!

My brother in law (who's nine years younger than me) is a big Nickelback fan. He's a mechanic so when we're hangin' out in his garage doing work on my wife's car, or whatever, he'll go "Here, I'll put on something heavy for you" aaaaaand... here comes the Nickelback. He's totally mystified as to why I don't dig them at all. I guess he figures since they're loud and sometimes "heavy," I should own all their CDs.

He also digs I.C.P. (for some unGodly reason)... if I had to choose between the two I'd rather listen to Nickelback, but that's not exactly high praise, is it?

I like I.C.P. too, but I wouldn't call myself a juggalo, those people scare the hell out of me, (I heard about how they threw rocks at Tila Tequila, i'm not her biggest fan either, but that seems pretty extreme). I used to hate Nickelback, but hearing them on the radio enough, somehow they started to grow on me(I dare you not to get misty-eyed when listening to "Lullaby"), same with Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit.

I cannot stand these new boy bands like The Wanted and One Direction though.

Its definitely a challenge as kids come along.Before we had kids i would blast stuff throughout the house or sit and listen to stuff on headphones for a few hours.As your kids get older it gets a little easier to balance the two out,but I wanna be there to spend time with my kids and be a good father to them right now.My girl is 8 and my son is 4. My girl does like some of the same music I do but not much.Hang in there brother,it gets better.And welcome to the board,by the way.

Fat Freddy wrote:

jettafiend wrote:

Vexer6 wrote:

There are a few new bands I like, such as Halestorm. I'll also admit to liking some modern rock like Nickelback.

OUCH!!

My brother in law (who's nine years younger than me) is a big Nickelback fan. He's a mechanic so when we're hangin' out in his garage doing work on my wife's car, or whatever, he'll go "Here, I'll put on something heavy for you" aaaaaand... here comes the Nickelback. He's totally mystified as to why I don't dig them at all. I guess he figures since they're loud and sometimes "heavy," I should own all their CDs.

He also digs I.C.P. (for some unGodly reason)... if I had to choose between the two I'd rather listen to Nickelback, but that's not exactly high praise, is it?

Lesser of two evils perhaps but definitely not high praise

Thrasher, thank you for the welcome, and everyone, thanks for the input, it's more beneficial to me than you know.

Fat Freddy wrote:

Quote :

I don't really pay attention to all the hot new bands though, I prefer 80s rock.

I stopped trying to keep up with the "newest and tr00est" metal bands a long time ago.

A friend and I (a fellow aging metal doofus like me) were discussing this the other day, and how it's affected our CD collecting habit.

Most of the newer bands coming out do nothing for us, or at least they don't seem to ignite the same fanaticism that our old favorites used to (i.e. we might be moved to buy one of their CDs, but few, if any, have ignited the "Oh my GOD, this band is abso-effen-lutely brilliant, I must own every single note of music that they've ever recorded" reaction). On the other hand, when it comes to the old standby bands, we've already completed our collections of pretty much everything we're ever gonna need from them (unless they come out with a new release, or we start digging into live bootlegs/import CD singles and other minutia)... so both of us have ended up going back and digging into bands we've always been "casual" fans of in the past but have never had time to explore in depth. For example, I've been piling up lotsa stuff by Deep Purple, Cheap Trick, Death Angel, Tesla, and several other "old" bands over the past couple of years. I always liked these bands back in the day, but had never bothered to start going "all-in" when it came to collecting their stuff. In the case of a band like Deep Purple, who seem to have about 27,000 albums in their discography, there's enough there to keep me busy for the rest of my collecting life.

Wow. I have never thought about this before. The same thing happened to me when I went through an indie phase when indie has started to flood the market. Pretty soon it became this hobby of liking a song, buying the album, liking another song, different artist, buying that album...pretty soon I stopped listening to the albums! With rock and metal, those bands that have permeated our history are always worth going deeper with. Deep Purple is a great example because all I knew of them as a teen was Machine Head and Made in Japan. I never heard the other lineups, let alone Burn, until a few years ago, and good Lord what beautiful music! That said, your advice is firm in my mind and will be handy when deciding which CD to buy next.

I still get good listening time at work because I drive a lot, but heavy music at home? That's not happening......my wife doesn't care for it, and my daughters are both quite young still.

I have the pleasure of not only having a physically beautiful wife, but also one who is a metalhead; although not as much as me. She likes lots of different kinds of music, but when it comes to metal, she likes the hair metal bands and lots of those gothic rock/metal bands like The 69 Eyes, Death Stars, etc., which are not metal, but you know, heh heh... She'll listen to my thrash and death metal when I'm in the car playing it, but doesn't listen to it on her own. I mean, let's face it - all the really heavy stuff, the thrash, death, and black metal stuff is masculine by nature, and simply won't appeal to most females. Most, not all. Some love it, and that's cool. But it's raw, brutal, and primal - nothing feminine about it. Now, the power metal stuff, my wife likes a lot of, too... the Helloween, Gamma Ray, Hammerfall, etc., which is pretty cool. Those bands are totally metal; just not brutal and raw like the afore-mentioned styles.

Our boys are now 20 and 16, and each have their own music they like, but yes, they did grow up hearing all the metal stuff. They appreciate its musicianship and power, but they really don't listen to it on their own, and that's fine. I never did intend to try and make them like it (although they had no choice but to hear it all the time, haha). Sometimes I'll mess with them and say things like "So when are you gonna start listening to some real music?", lol...but I'm only kidding. Hey, I'm the dad, after all....listening to my dinosaur heavy metal, haha...and proud of it. \m/ \m/

Quote :

Burn, good Lord what beautiful music!

Agreed, I picked up an old 12" copy of burn a while back in a little used record store. So far the coolest record in good condition i've found there (most of the stuff in that store is total crap and anything cool is really beat up. It's great, one of my favorite records to spin.

Quote :

I have the pleasure of not only having a physically beautiful wife, but also one who is a metalhead; although not as much as me. She likes lots of different kinds of music, but when it comes to metal, she likes the hair metal bands and lots of those gothic rock/metal bands like The 69 Eyes, Death Stars, etc., which are not metal, but you know, heh heh... She'll listen to my thrash and death metal when I'm in the car playing it, but doesn't listen to it on her own. I mean, let's face it - all the really heavy stuff, the thrash, death, and black metal stuff is masculine by nature, and simply won't appeal to most females. Most, not all. Some love it, and that's cool. But it's raw, brutal, and primal - nothing feminine about it. Now, the power metal stuff, my wife likes a lot of, too... the Helloween, Gamma Ray, Hammerfall, etc., which is pretty cool. Those bands are totally metal; just not brutal and raw like the afore-mentioned styles

That's pretty much my wife to a T. . Gotta luv it! Especially going to concerts with her. She's my best concert buddy

As far as time for metal now, my answer would be the same as many of yours... not nearly as much as when I was young and single. And rightly so... if I still forced as much music into my schedule as I did when I was young, I wouldn't still be married and nobody would want to be around me. I'd be a selfish bastard, spending most of my free time by myself with my headphones on. No, now it's the same as with most of you, and has been for many, many years. Most of my listening is done in the car on the way to and from work, and on my lunch hour. Once in awhile, I'll put on the headphones at my PC and listen to something while I surf the net, but not often. I usually don't sit here for long, anyway, anymore.

I don't spend nearly as much on new stuff anymore, either. There's just too many bands and albums out there, and even if I had the money, I wouldn't want to get obsessed and try and scoop as many CDs up as possible, just for the sake of having them. There simply aren't enough hours in the day to listen to everything out there, no matter how good it may be. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm just as happy with my modest CD collection. Sure, I'll pick up a new album here and there, but I don't obsess over it. It's just not worth it to me, anymore. Lately I've been more interested in re-obtaining all the stuff I had on cassette back in the 80s, but on CD, now. Soundtrack of my life, man. Lots of those albums mean something to me, and I can listen to them ad infinitum and not get tired of them.

I listen to my music, whilst commuting via bus to work. Also, my wife doesn't mind me being plugged in, if she is watching tele or something else. I've just got to make sure that I'm not plugged in, ... when she's talking to me, ... or we're doing something together. We don't have kids yet.

No music at home, when the family is around.

My wife is a catholic maniac, so this music is "for devil worshippers".

I mostly listen to metal when i'm in my car, or alone at the office long after all the others have left.

Gilbert wrote:

No music at home, when the family is around.

My wife is a catholic maniac, so this music is "for devil worshippers".

I mostly listen to metal when i'm in my car, or alone at the office long after all the others have left.

Yikes! Now i'm definitely not in any hurry to get married My dad's catholic, but he never went overboard trying to control what I listened to.

Does your wife like any christian rock bands?

She likes Chris de Burgh, but i don't know if he counts as Christian Rock.

Funny thing is, whenever she's on a business trip, she always buys me metal albums as gifts.

I'm fortunate that I can listen to music in work, so I get my fill of metal music on the ride in, during the day and then the ride home. When I'm home, I don't listen as much as I used to now that I have 3 little rug-rats running around. When I do listen, it's more in the rock side of things, nothing too extreme. When they are in the car with me, it's only rock 'n roll. They can listen to kiddie tunes and pop radio when they ride with momma. Not in my car.

The big thing I miss most about having grown-up responsibilites is not being able to see as much live music as I used to or the ablility to hop in the car and go to music shops on a whim. Those things take a back seat anymore.

One thing I'm hoping for with my kid when it's old enough, is that he/she will like listening to vinyl with me. I mean, how could a kid not like the gimmick-iness of pulling out the black disc, dusting it off and watching it spin as it plays music. Maybe make it like record and board game time or something. Then go to the used record store and browse through it together checking out all the cool looking artwork and picking stuff together... Dang, I can't wait to be a dad, its gonna be work but I'm excited about the idea of trying out all this stuff with my kid