"I'm going places! Up, up, up the ziggurat, lickety-split!"
"Switch to red alert!"
"Are you sure sir? That would mean changing the bulb."
"I'm hungry!'
"Rimmer's dad died!"
"I'd prefer chicken."
"They're dead!"
"But I was only gone five minutes."
"If I'm so stupid, explain this."
"Explain what?"
"You can't can you?"
"I also suspect that someone, possibly Lister, has given Rimmer access to the crew's confidential files, and he's using this information to blackmail his way up the chain of command. It's sickening. It's unforgivable. But it's a technique that can work. I should know; I used the same method myself to become captain. If the crew discover I'm really just Dennis the Doughnut Boy, I'm finished."
"I'm Nigel! I'm nice!"
"Come on, I'll pay ya. I haven't seen a naked woman in... well... ever!
"Unpack Rachel and get out the puncture repair kit! I'm alive!!"
"Petersen was really, really blown away by it. He went to see a priest. The priest told him, he said, it was alright, and all that, and the shoes were happy, and they'd gone to heaven. Y'see, it turns out shoes have soles."