"Rocky Horror Picture Show" Cult Following Just Doesn't Have The Energy Anymore

In case it isn't immediately obvious, this article is a parody from The Onion.

"Rocky Horror Picture Show" Cult Following Just Doesn't Have the Energy Anymore

Tired, run-down 'Rocky Horror' fans told reporters if they heard the words "hot patootie, bless my soul" one more time they were going to lose their minds.

LOS ANGELES—Longtime fans of the 1975 cult classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show reported this week that after 30 years of religiously attending midnight showings of the film, they no longer have the energy to put on red wigs, bras, and lipstick and yell things at a movie screen until two in the morning.

Describing the never-ending ritual of gathering together with fellow fans and re-watching the camp musical comedy as "tiring" and "frankly, a little pathetic," thousands of once-obsessed Rocky Horror fans across the country made it known that their enthusiasm for the whole cult following in general was beginning to wane.

"I'm just exhausted," said Los Angeles attorney Chris Bendel, 51, who has viewed the film with dozens of other mainly middle-aged audience members on an estimated 246 separate occasions. "Sure, there was a time when the idea of standing up in my seat and singing along with 'Dammit Janet' seemed like the greatest thing in the world, but now the mere thought of having to do it all again next week actually fills me with dread. I am a grown man. What am I doing?"

"The last screening I went to I sat there the entire time thinking, 'This movie isn't even that great and I kind of feel like an a**hole,'" Bendel added.

Citing hours of missed sleep, thousands of dollars wasted on props and costumes, and an overall leveling out of whatever crazed, youthful energy got them so obsessed in the first place, the entire extended fan base of the film has called for a rethinking of the midnight-screening premise itself.

"Would it kill them to play it three or four times a year instead of every single week?" asked Tom McDougal, 47, who claimed that after a long day at work, staying up all night with 40 near-strangers dressed as sweet transvestites was "not exactly thrilling" anymore. "How about maybe doing a matinee every once in a while? I fell asleep last week during 'Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me.'"

In addition, numerous Rocky Horror enthusiasts stated this week that the dozens of audience-participation rituals invented for the screenings over the years had long ago lost their magic, and were now simply a chore.

Fan Deborah Wright, 39, announced that she will no longer be going to Shop 'n Save to pick up a loaf of bread in order to make toast to throw at the screen when the line "A toast!" is spoken. And Chicago-area computer programmer Rob Levin told reporters he was tired of bringing bags of rice, hot dogs, and toilet paper to local screenings, citing the fact that he is a 47-year-old man with a wife and child.

"I actually go out and spend money on supplies for this thing," Levin said. "Supplies. For a movie. How idiotic is that?"

Rocky Horror fan club president Sal Piro addressed concerns at a press conference Monday, saying that he shared fans' growing lack of interest, and that the film itself was to blame.

"Look, for decades there wasn't a bigger Rocky Horror nut on the planet than me," Piro said. "But my tastes have changed over time, and I've got to be honest with myself: The Rocky Horror Picture Show is actually a pretty irritating movie, and the music, while admittedly catchy on first listen, really starts to grate over time. And dressing up like Dr. Frank-N-Furter or Riff Raff and prancing around like an over-caffeinated teenager doesn't make the movie any better, it just compounds everything that is already annoying about it."

"So really, this whole thing has been a colossal waste of time," Piro continued. "And now it appears as though the better part of my life is over, so, there you go. There's your f*cking 'time warp' right there."

Quote :

"So really, this whole thing has been a colossal waste of time," Piro continued. "And now it appears as though the better part of my life is over, so, there you go. There's your f*cking 'time warp' right there."

That's the line that just cracked me up. Sums everything up perfectly to a T!!

MetalGuy71 wrote:

That's the line that just cracked me up. Sums everything up perfectly to a T!!

Yeah, seriously. I hung out with a couple of people who were into "Rocky" when I was in college (i.e., geeks...hahaha) and they got me into it, so I went and saw it in NYC with them maybe a dozen times over the course of a couple of years. We weren't super hardcore like some of the folks who would come every week (i.e. we didn't dress up as any of the characters or bring "props" like toast, flashlights, etc.) but It was always a fun time (mainly cuz we'd get good and tanked up before the show...hahaha) but yeah, looking back, this article pretty much nails the entire phenomenon dead-on.

The movie turned up on Fox Movie Channel a couple of months ago so I watched it for the first time in a good fifteen years at least. I could actually still remember a lot of the old "audience participation" gags that the crowd yells back at the screen, I was muttering them under my breath the whole time I watched the movie and thinking to myself "man, what am I doing?". Haha.

I still dig the soundtrack though. I have it on CD and usually dig it out around the Halloween season for a few spins. I'd say it's about due.

The "Sal Piro" they mention in this article is a real guy, by the way. Last time I checked, he was still the president of the International Rocky Horror fan club. He was the emcee/leader of the floor show at all the NYC showings I went to. To the real hardcore "RHPS" fans he's like Elvis. A rather, shall we say, "interesting" chap.

I've seen the movie on vhs. Never did the whole theater experience though. I had friends that always talked about going, but we never did. My parents actually went a few times with their friends back in the day. Didn't get dressed up or anything. Just went for sh*ts & giggles. But at the time, that was probably enough for me to think "If my parents think it's cool, it must be lame". Looking back now, it's probably one of the "hipper" things my parents did. My mom's pretty square.

Haven't heard it in years, but I know they had the soundtrack on vinyl and I made a tape copy of it. The songs weren't that bad actually.

MetalGuy71 wrote:

I've seen the movie on vhs. Never did the whole theater experience though.

I remember when it was first released on video, the big time RHPS geeks were afraid that it would cause the end of the midnight showings cuz they thought nobody would come out to the theatre anymore if they could watch it at home. However, I believe it actually increased the # of people at theatrical showings cuz they started pulling in a lot of first-timers who wanted to get the whole "experience."

Never understood why the midnight-show types were so afraid of the "home" version on video, cuz most of'em probably had a bootleg VHS copy at home anyway, wayyyy before the legitimate release happened. I know I sure did.

Too bad you don't have the Fox channel right now dude. You're gonna miss this...

MetalGuy71 wrote:

Too bad you don't have the Fox channel right now dude. You're gonna miss this...

I think I can survive quite comfortably without seeing that, even if the Fox Network gets put back on my cable...