TODAY I WATCHED... (Movies, TV) 2018

Simpsons
Ghosted
Family Guy

Hired Gun - doc about studio musicians and uh, hired guns for solo artists. Good stuff.



It's on Netflix and I'd highly recommend it. I also believe Rudy Sarzo is some sort of vampire or Highlander or something. Dude's like 70 and looks the same he did 35 years ago in Quiet Riot.

I also took the kids out of the house on Saturday to see 'Jumanji'. I went in with a blah attitude thinking it would be just another pointless remake and was pleasantly surprised. It was good. I LoL'ed a few times and the girl in it is smoking hot.

At home, the last movie I watched...

Chairman of the Board (1998)



20 years ago, the movie studios decided to try and make stand up comedy star Carrot Top a movie star. They failed, and it's not difficult to see why with this vehicle. It's best remembered for when Norm MacDonald was on Conan before the movie was released with a co-star. When asked what the movie was called (before the title was revealed), Norm MacDonald interrupted and said, "I know what it's going to be called. If it's got Carrot Top in it, you know what a good name for it would be?" Conan said, "What's that, Norm?" Norm replied, "Box Office Poison!"

In the cinema...

Molly's Game (2017)



I watched this with my parents tonight. Pretty good movie with some strong acting performances.

Wife is under the weather so she went to bed early and left me alone with Netflix. Woohoo!

"The Toys That Made Us" Episode 1 (Kenner/Star Wars)

"Ash vs. Evil Dead" - season 1, eps. 1 thru 4

Coach
Becker
Metal Missionaries documentary

Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior

X Files

Several more episodes of "Ash vs. Evil Dead" -- this show is a hoot. Action packed, gory and funny as hell.

Watched last night:

The Orphanage

Fat Freddy wrote:

Wife is under the weather so she went to bed early and left me alone with Netflix. Woohoo!

"The Toys That Made Us" Episode 1 (Kenner/Star Wars)

I checked that one out too. Pretty cool. I'll probably be watching a few more of them.

Watched this the other night too. It's hard to talk about it without spoiling anything so I'll just say it was awesome. Worth watching.

Stargate SG1 - Season 4

Godzilla (1954)

The original subtitled version, much better than the Americanized one starring Raymond Burr. Where as the Americanized version is told mostly through flashback with Burr narrating the events, the original is told straight forward and is a much more effective movie. If you've never seen it, it would be worth your time in catching it.

I totally agree. "Gojira" is so much better than the American version.

"Paganini Horror" (1989)


A struggling all-girl rock band discovers an unpublished piece by the Italian composer Paganini - aka "The Devil's Violinist," who allegedly sold his soul to Satan in exchange for his talent - and records it. While shooting a music video for the track at Paganini's former home, it awakens the spirit of the demonic musician, who doesn't take kindly to copycats taking credit for his work. Splattery murder and mayhem ensues.

This entertainingly cheesy slice of Italian rock-horror schlock (directed by Luigi "Starcrash" Cozzi) has a couple of pretty girls in it and features some decent gore but everything else (acting, sets, dialogue, dubbing, etc) is totally Z-grade. Good for a few laughs but not much else.

Adam Green's Frozen (no, not the Disney one): ***1/2 (out of ****)

Man, this movie f*cking tore me UP! Entirely shot at a Ski Resort with two-thirds of the movie taking place on a ski lift CHAIR (where the cast is abandoned overnight), the brutal torture that mother nature brews up at every turn make for some horrifying results which caused me to squirm uncomfortably in my seat. The use of animal savagery via a pack of wolves here is effective and disturbing. There's also plenty of pathos to spare in the strong characterizations and above average acting. It all adds up to a movie that stays with you for days, although a second viewing might be too much punishment. Yes, there are several gaps in logic that make a rescue seem more than possible (apparently ski resort crews inspect the lift chairs upon closing), but what helped me to enjoy the movie is entering it aware of the possibility of such gaps.

It is true that I hate both the snow and heights, which probably did the movie favors for my viewing, so knock off half a star if neither of those things bother you. Otherwise, what a nerve-wracking ride!

"Graveyard Disturbance" (1987)


Lamberto "Demons" Bava directed this made-for-Italian-cable turkey, in which five teens take a creepy old innkeeper up on his dare to spend the night in some catacombs beneath the cemetery, with the promise of a "treasure" if they can make it till dawn. The gang encounters a variety of vampires, zombies, and other creepy crawlies, but nothing really happens. There's no gore, no scares, no violence, just a lot of scenes of these kids walking around in circles, screaming, and arguing. There are some nice monster makeup FX and set designs, but otherwise this flick was dumb as dirt and twice as dull. AVOID.

This one was on my pre-holiday "Twisted Christmas" horror marathon list but I never got to it. Oh well, better late than never...

"To All a Goodnight" (1980)

A group of private-school girls (and their boyfriends) staying behind in the dorm during Christmas break are picked off by a killer wearing a Santa suit.  Sounds familiar, but this cheap knock-off of "Black Christmas" and "Friday the 13th" actually pre-dates the similar, but way more notorious "Silent Night, Deadly Night" by a couple of years. It gets off to a rip roarin' start by piling up a bunch of bodies early on, then the midsection turns into a slow slog until the killer's I.D. (which most viewers will have figured out way before the characters do) is finally revealed in the last quarter. Directed by David Hess of "Last House on the Left" fame, this is far from a top drawer slasher but the girls are pretty and it was just sleazy and gory enough to make it entertaining.

Watched It (2017) over the weekend. Very effective and entertaining thriller. Looking forward to catching the next one.

"Contamination" (aka "Alien Contamination," 1980)

A ship drifts into New York harbor with no one left alive on board - and a cargo of extra-terrestrial eggs full of goo that makes people's bodies explode. A government investigative team traces the ship's trail to South America, where an alien life form has taken over a coffee plantation (?) for use as its home base to colonize our planet. Yikes!
Luigi "StarCrash" Cozzi directed this earth-bound Italian "Alien" variant, which doesn't even try to hide the fact that it's a rip-off... but it's fun, comic book nonsense with lotsa cool gory special effects. Worth a look if you need a Euro-trash horror fix.

HAHAHAHA!!!

I've actually seen that one!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, a quote from my brother. "You've seen more s*** than a public toilet." And he was referring to me! I can't hold a turd to the steaming piles FF has seen!

tohostudios wrote:

HAHAHAHA!!!

I've actually seen that one!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, a quote from my brother. "You've seen more s*** than a public toilet."  And he was referring to me!  I can't hold a turd to the steaming piles FF has seen!

(Elvis voice) Thenkyew, thenkyew vurry much.

This was actually my second viewing of "Contamination!" As Eurotrash "Alien" wanna-be's go, it's actually one of the better ones. Ever seen "Alien 2: On Earth" or "Inseminoid?" Talk about turd burgers!

'John Dies at the end'

Super funny, same director from 'Phantasm'

Stender wrote:

'John Dies at the end'

Super funny, same director from 'Phantasm'

Great movie! And such a weird flick.

I wish they'd release an expanded edition because I've heard they left a lot of stuff on the cutting room floor.

The Babadook

Man, I wanted to beat the kid like I was his dad... What an insufferable little shit.