You might be a redneck if...

You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.

I was wanting to put a record player in mine

thrasher73 wrote:

I was wanting to put a record player in mine

Why? All the Korn releases are out on cd. What do you need a record player for?

....if you go to your Sister's wedding........Because you are the groom!!

Forever A Heath Bar wrote:

thrasher73 wrote:

I was wanting to put a record player in mine

Why? All the Korn releases are out on cd. What do you need a record player for?

C,mon now Heath,you know you're the only Korn fan here:)

thrasher73 wrote:

Forever A Heath Bar wrote:

thrasher73 wrote:

I was wanting to put a record player in mine

Why? All the Korn releases are out on cd. What do you need a record player for?

C,mon now Heath,you know you're the only Korn fan here:)

Well if it is one the Cob with lots o butter, creamed though, forget it!

You might be a redneck if...

Your front porch collapses, killing three of your dogs.

You move your refridgerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You built a pyramid of cans in the pale moonlight with Alan Jackson.

Every day someone comes to your front door, mistakenly thinking you're having a yard sale.

Your four year old is a member of the NRA.

You've ever been to a funeral where there were more pick-ups than cars.

...if you shout "FREEBIRD!" at every concert you go to.

Your a redneck if..

1. You ever cut your grass and found a car.
   
2. You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
   
3. You think the stock market has a fence around it.
   
4. Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.
   
5. You own a homemade fur coat.
   
6. Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
   
7. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
   
8. Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can
   take a bath."
   
9. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
   
10. You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
    
11. Birds are attracted to your beard.
    
12. Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
    
13. You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
    
14. You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.
    
15. Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
    
16. You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
    
17. You've ever given rat traps as gifts.
    
18. You clean your fingernails with a stick.
    
19. Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
    
20. You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.
    
21. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
    
22. Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
    
23. Every socket in your house breaks a fire code.
    
24. There are more than five McDonald's bags in your car.
    
25. The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.
    
26. There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door.
    
27. You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
    
28. The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
    
29. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
    
30. You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
    
31. You have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape.
    
32. You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
    
33. Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."
    
34. Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.
    
35. You pick your teeth from a catalog.
    
36. You've ever financed a tattoo.
    
37. You've ever stolen toilet paper.
    
38. You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
    
39. People hear your car a long time before they see it.
    
40. You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
    

You might be a redneck if...

You have ever climbed a water tower with a can of paint, to defend your sister's honor.

thrasher73 wrote:

Forever A Heath Bar wrote:

thrasher73 wrote:

I was wanting to put a record player in mine

Why? All the Korn releases are out on cd. What do you need a record player for?

C,mon now Heath,you know you're the only Korn fan here:)

whats wrong with korn. i never saw them as a metal band so i can therefore enjoy their music without worrying about being "metul!" - not that i ever did. i was no nu-metal kid however it is still popular here in england compared to metalcore

If you've ever had hot flashes at a cattle auction...you might be a redneck.

Here's the authentic redneck playlist for this week...heck, I got full up with Skynyrd and ZZ Top years ago.

Top 7 (one for the CD player in the old truck, and 6 for the CD changer in the 4 wheel drive truck. I don't own a car).

1. Hydra- Land of Money (the pistol!)
2. Point Blank s/t
3. Roky Erickson-Evil One (two headed dog!)
4. Nitzinger- s/t (louisiana cock fight!)
5. Jo Jo Gunne- Bite Down Hard
6. Earl Slick Band-Live 1976
7. The Boyzz- Too Wild to Tame.

Excuse me, where's the beer?

thrasher73 wrote:

Forever A Heath Bar wrote:

thrasher73 wrote:

I was wanting to put a record player in mine

Why? All the Korn releases are out on cd. What do you need a record player for?

C,mon now Heath,you know you're the only Korn fan here:)

I LIKE KORN!!!

TheCumming Curse91 wrote:

thrasher73 wrote:

Forever A Heath Bar wrote:

thrasher73 wrote:

I was wanting to put a record player in mine

Why? All the Korn releases are out on cd. What do you need a record player for?

C,mon now Heath,you know you're the only Korn fan here:)

I LIKE KORN!!!

O.K then,you and Heath are the only Korn fans here:lol:

If your grandmother knows how to correctly execute the sleeperhold...
If you have been married three times and have the same in-laws...
If you refer to the day that you won a free case of motor oil as "the day my ship came in"...

If your dad walks you to school, not for safety reasons, but b/c you are in the same grade... thn, you might be a redneck!!!

If you listen to heavy metal

Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen...The Redneck Comedy Tour! Featuring Stink Fleaman!"
Stink Fleaman: "You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such."
(Audience laughs)
Announcer: "Mike Drunkbeater!"
Mike Drunkbeater: "Ohhh, that dog o' mine."
(Audience laughs)
Announcer: "Walt "Coffee & Pie" Abernathy!"
Walt "Coffee & Pie" Abernathy: "Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!"
(Audience laughs)
Announcer: "And Larry the Guy Who Works for the Department of Water and Power!"
Larry the Guy Who Works for the Department of Water & Power: "You tell me how that got in there! Whooooooooo!"
(Audience laughs)