TODAY I WATCHED... (Movies. TV) 2022

007 wrote:

^^^^^   I remember seeing the trailer for that on the VHS tape of Carnosaur way back when. I thought it looked pretty cool and had wondered what happened to it. Of course it wasn't until a few years later I found out it was shelved. I'll have to check this documentary out.

Yep, I remember seeing the trailer on a couple of movie rentals back then. The marketing was rolling, Marvel was posting regular updates on its progress in the monthly news pages in their comics, the cast was appearing at comic cons to promote the release, and then... it just disappeared.

The '94 FF movie can be found on YouTube, the quality isn't perfect (it was probably ripped from a bootleg VHS) but it's watchable. It's a cheap but fun B movie. I saw it a few years ago and it felt like it could've been a kids' TV show like "Power Rangers."

Beers Of Joy

"Rapture-Palooza" (2014)

Left behind on Earth after the Rapture, a twenty something couple (Anna Kendrick and John Francis Daley) simply want to be left alone and adjust to their bizarre new world. This becomes complicated when they encounter Satan, aka "The Beast" (Craig Robinson), who takes a shine to Anna and wants her as his bride. Wacky hi-jinks ensue.
A snarky low budget apocalypse comedy that gets by mostly on the charms of its leading lady and the comic timing of her supporting cast. Silly but fun.

"Movie Hoarders: From VHS to DVD and Beyond!" (2021)

Occasionally interesting documentary about movie buffs who refuse to give in to streaming video and continue to collect films on VHS, DVDs, Blu-Rays, etc. Some of these guys have amazing collections and as a music fanatic (CDs for life, yo!) I can totally relate to their devotion to physical product over digital, but this flick simply drags on WAY too long. Essentially it's a bunch of goofy lookin' dudes in front of their media shelves, all saying basically the same things about their "nostalgia" for physical product and the days of Blockbuster Video and VHS, gets old pretty quick. If this had been an hour long, it would have been more fun to watch; at a hair over two hours it's an endurance contest.

Happy Days
Laverne & Shirley

The Book Of Boba Fett

"Savage Weekend" (1979)

Five wealthy Manhattan-ites take a weekend trip to the country, where a masked slasher picks them off. Yes, that's the whole plot.
A pretty dull, slow moving sleaze/horror flick that doesn't get into gear till the last half hour.
Filmed in 1976, but wasn't released till '79 to cash in on the post-"Halloween" slasher craze.
My recommendation: skip it unless you absolutely have to see every slasher movie ever made.

"Captain America" (1990)

After Reb Brown but before the MCU's Chris Evans, the absolutely wooden Matt Salinger (son of "Catcher in the Rye" author J.D. Salinger) played Marvel's star spangled Avenger in this cheesy but mostly fun low budget flick. Frozen in the 1940s, Cap is thawed out fifty years later to continue his battle against the Red Skull, who's now an international terrorist who has kidnapped the President of the United States. The story is a muddle and the budget limitations are painfully obvious but there was enough action to keep me entertained, even if it was for all the wrong reasons.

"Venom: Let There Be Carnage" (2021)

In this sequel to the 2018 Spider-Man spinoff, Eddie Brock is still adjusting to sharing his body with the symbiotic Venom creature, and has to battle against Carnage, a serial killer who's escaped from Death Row with the help of another symbiote. Just as much crazy ultra-violent fun as the original.

"Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys" (2004)

A descendant of the original Puppet Master (Corey Feldman!) must use his wooden friends to stop the satanic CEO of a major toy corporation, who wants to commit mass Christmas morning murder via millions of lethal playthings. Yes, it's just as ridiculous as it sounds.
Full Moon Pictures loaned out two of their most popular franchises to the Sci-Fi channel (now SyFy) to make this holiday made-for-TV flick. Some of the stop motion puppet effects are charming and Vanessa Angel (of the "Weird Science" TV series) is clearly having fun as the vampy villainess, but if you take the toys and puppets out of the equation, this is pretty much the same plot as "Halloween III," dressed up in Christmas wrapping and with a budget of about twenty-five bucks.
AVOID.

"Red Notice" (2021)

An FBI agent (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) reluctantly partners with a wise-ass art thief (Ryan "Deadpool" Reynolds) in order to beat another master criminal (Gal "Wonder Woman" Gadot) to a priceless treasure. A globe-trotting action/heist flick in the "National Treasure" or "Raiders of the Lost Ark" vein, this Netflix original is fast moving, funny, and full of twists, turns, and double crosses.

"Thunder Force" (2021)

Two former childhood friends (Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer) become super heroines thanks to a secret formula, and use it to protect Chicago from super-powered evil doers with names like "Laser" and "The Crab."
This Netflix original comedy has a couple of decent chuckles and the special effects are passable, but story-wise it mostly goes around in circles.
McCarthy's basically playing a super powered version of the same "sassy fat broad" character she's done at least a dozen times before, and since her husband is the writer/director, she gets most of the good lines. Spencer doesn't do much except roll her eyes a lot at her partner's shenanigans.  
Apparently Melissa and Octavia are longtime friends in real life, and it looks like they had a lot of fun making this, but the results are disappointing. Skip it.

"Max Knight: Ultra-Spy" (2000)

Made-for-TV nonsense about an ultra cool, cyber-savvy secret agent whose hunt for a missing girl leads to a would-be super-villain who wants to kill all humans and upload their collective consciousness to the Internet ... for some reason.
...so basically this is a mash up of "Lawnmower Man" and "The Matrix," on a budget of about six bucks and a Subway coupon, full of "tech-y" dialogue that was clearly written by guys who'd just discovered the Internet. The CGI and V.R. special effects were probably pretty whizz bang when this was made, but they look like cave drawings now. The villain dresses like a nu-metal musician (frosted tips, goatee, nose rings) and spouts a lot of now-dated gibberish about "Phreaking," Y2K, and "hacking the world," backed by a trio of rollerblading hotties who look like evil Spice Girls.
I assume that this cartoonish cyber-crap was intended as a pilot for a potential series. We should all be thankful that didn't happen.
AVOID.

Monday Night Raw

"When You're Strange: A Film About The Doors" (2009)

Johnny Depp narrates this slick documentary that journeys through the relatively short, but eventful career of Jim Morrison and The Doors, using lots of vintage live performances, home movies, interviews and clips from a rarely-seen short film starring Jim called "HWY: An American Pastoral." Long time Doors fans probably won't learn anything new from this flick but it's a cool trip back in time.

The Book Of Boba Fett

The Carol Burnett Show

My wife is home sick so on Prime I saw that they have Sanford and Son...and we took the dive. 8 episodes in:

Wow!!! I hadn't seen this since I was a kid. Oh, man, it's so funny and Redd Foxx is an absolute genius. I couldn't believe he's only 49 during the first season!

I saw a review describing Lamont as "long-suffering." So true.

Seeing it through adult eyes gives me a whole new appreciation. It's also reminding me of Seinfeld in this regard: so many future stars of other movies or shows keep popping up in episodes. It was such a great showcase for underserved black and Hispanic actors of the 70s.

Also refreshing is how certain topics are handled head-on instead of being tiptoed around or ignored outright.

A. Ester and Grady haven't showed up yet, and I eagerly anticipate that. I have great, now 40+ year old memories of their interactions with Fred.

I remember as a kid thinking how cool Lamont was with his 70s clothes, hair, mustache and his ladies. He still holds up pretty well, although now I can see how at times he was bumbling and or thwarted by Fred.

Best part is I haven't heard my wife laugh out loud at a sitcom like this in years

Also that's got to be a top-3 theme song. Such great use of organ, bass, harmonica.

On one of my walking routes there's a house a few subdivisions over that has a front yard that looks like a junkyard.  I described it to somebody on my team at work as looking like "a throwback to Sanford and Son" and this person had no idea what I was talking about.

"The Wrong Guys" (1988)

A troop of former Cub Scouts (led by the late Louie Anderson) organize a 25-year reunion camping trip, but their party is crashed by the now-grown bullies who used to torment them when they were kids, and a crazed escaped convict who's using the mountain as a hideout. Wacky hijinks ensue.
This better-than-expected low budget comedy features a interesting cast of '80s stand up comics (Richard Lewis, Franklyn Ajaye, and Richard Belzer round out the former scouts) mixed with reliable character actors  like John Goodman, Ernie Hudson and Brion James. A fun, mostly forgotten '80s flick.

"Shocking Dark" (aka "Terminator 2," aka "Alienators," 1989)

In the future, a task force is sent into a labyrinth of tunnels beneath post-apocalyptic Venice to find a team of missing scientists. They are met by a lone surviving little girl, hordes of homicidal mutations... and for some reason, a killer cyborg.
This notorious Italian schlock classic (directed by Bruno "Robowar" Mattei from a script by Claudio "Troll 2" Fragasso) shamelessly steals entire scenes from "Aliens" for the first hour, before suddenly turning into "The Terminator" in the final reel. It was even released as "Terminator 2" in some parts of the world with lax copyright laws, a full two years before the "real" T2! You almost have to admire the sheer cojones it took for the filmmakers to pull off a scam of this magnitude. "Shocking Dark" is so terrible, it's actually kind of awesome.

scottmitchell74 wrote:

I hadn't seen this since I was a kid. Oh, man, it's so funny and Redd Foxx is an absolute genius. I couldn't believe he's only 49 during the first season

My grandmother was sort of friends with him. I never met him, and she didn't go hang out with him at his house or anything. She was one of the first women to be a dealer on the Vegas strip. She eventually landed a job at the Sands hotel and casino. At that time it was one of THE spots to be. From what I remember, whenever Redd Foxx was in town, he'd play cards at her table a lot. I remember her telling me one time he gave her tickets to his show one night. I begged to go because I loved Sanford and Son. She was like no way, his show is not for kids. All I know is, she took me to a few Vegas shows where the girls were wearing nothing but tassels over their nipples, so his shows must have been really bad for her not to let me go lol

Anyways, been binging Shameless on Netflix. Really great show, and speaking of nipples, there's TONS of those in it. No tassels either.

Single-digit cold temperatures = good excuse to stay in and watch movies.

"Swordfish" (2001)

A master criminal (John Travolta) lures a skilled hacker (Hugh Jackman) out of retirement to help him pull off a robbery that will net them billions in forgotten government funds, if they can keep the FBI off their backs.
A slick, high-tech thriller that has some impressive action sequences, but it's probably best remembered for featuring Halle Berry's first-ever topless scene. Halle (who, it must be noted, was at her absolute peak of hotness at this time) was reportedly paid an extra half million dollars to film that ten seconds of boob flash. I'd say $250,000 per boob was money well spent.

"Easy Money" (1983)

A slovenly New Yorker (Rodney Dangerfield) and his family will receive a $10 million inheritance if he can give up all of his "vices" - drugs, gambling, drinking, smoking, etc. - for one year. Of course, chaos ensues as Rodney tries to stay on the straight and narrow. This early 80s cable TV staple is my second favorite Rodney movie, right behind "Caddyshack." It's loaded with quotable bits and slapstick laughs.
Fun fact: Anthrax's rap hit "I'm the Man" was inspired by a line in this movie (when Rodney's sleazy new son in law tells his wife, "I'm de man! I'm so bad I should be in detention!").

"Life Stinks" (1991)

A real estate tycoon (Mel Brooks) makes a bet with a rival that he can survive 30 days on the streets with no money, living among the homeless on Skid Row. During his ordeal, Mel falls in love with a bag lady and sees the error of his greedy ways.
This movie was a rare misfire for Mel; there's a few laughs here and there, but it never quite finds a way to balance the comedy and the drama. Maybe it's just tough to make homelessness funny. Either way, "Life Stinks" was a box office failure and is considered to be Brooks' worst movie. Skip it unless you're a Mel Brooks completist.

"Partners in Crime" (1984)

Two women (Lynda "Wonder Woman" Carter and Loni "WKRP" Anderson) who were both married to the same recently-deceased P.I., are summoned to San Francisco for the reading of his will. After some initial "we'll never get along" back and forth, they become unlikely partners to solve the mystery of their ex's murder. Eventually they decide to continue working together and take over his detective agency.
This was the pilot film for a short-lived TV series, which I have only the vaguest memory of. IMDb sez it was cancelled after only 13 episodes, and I can see why. Carter and Anderson are easy on the eyes, of course, and make an appealing team, but this "mystery movie" was drawn-out, talky, and dreadfully dull.
The entire series appears to be on YouTube, but I don't think I'll bother with any more installments.

"The Scrooge Mystery" (2018)

Documentary profile of Kentucky comic book artist Don Rosa, who went from fanboy to professional in 1987 when he got the chance to pick up where his artistic idol, the great Carl Barks, left off on the adventures of Uncle Scrooge and the Disney Duck family. Though he remains a relative unknown in the US, Rosa's work is revered in Europe, where Duck comics have become part of the international fabric. Features lengthy interviews with Rosa (who seems like a pretty cool dude) as well as his friends, associates, and fans (including Tuomas Holopainen of Nightwish, whose 2014 solo album was a concept record about the life of Uncle Scrooge!).
I'm not sure why the title of the movie is "The Scrooge Mystery" since there's nothing particularly mysterious about it (this is a French production; maybe they meant "Mystique" and it got lost in translation?), but this was an enjoyable portrait of a gifted creator.

A Quiet Place 2 (2021)



Sequel dealing with the family from the first film (headed by Emily Blunt) venturing out into the devastated world overrun by the alien creatures that hunt by sound. They soon discover that the creatures aren't the only dangers in the dangerous new world. A rather satisfying sequel with a rather abrupt ending, probably to set up a third film down the line.

"Working Trash" (1990)

Two janitors (George Carlin and Ben Stiller) at a Wall Street firm start playing the stock market, using tips from information they find in the trash. Just as their scheme starts to pay off, they discover that a company big-wig is plotting to loot the employee pension fund to bankroll a hostile takeover, and they have to out-maneuver him to stop it. Stiller gets to romance a hot stock broker babe and George (as you might expect) gets all the good punch lines in this silly, slobs-against-the-snobs office comedy. An OK time waster.
Useless trivia: this was the then-new FOX Network's first ever made-for-TV movie.