How did your parents feel about your metal fandom when you were a teenager?

I know especially the Gen Xers dealt with this more than the younger metalheads but in the 80's many parents despised metal.

My first deal with this was when I was 15 and my mom decided if I was going to listen to this music she was going to have to check it out. My mother was a very christian woman. But also completely open minded and like many single mothers, a complete pushover when it came to punishing her children. But just a wonderful and kind human.

So she decided she's going to stay up and watch Headbangers Ball. She watched the whole show with me and the only thing I remember her freaking out about was Axl Rose's tattoos. She even noticed that Randy Rhoad's guitar playing had classical influences. And after that I was free to be a headbanger. I think Mom realized it would be a good way for me to make friends. Which turned out to be completely true. Mom's are smart, huh?

What's your experience with your parents and metal music?

As long as we kept the volume low enough that they didn't have to hear it, my parents didn't really give a hoot what music my brother and I listened to... which I've always given them credit for, since we were growing up in the golden age of thrash, death metal, and grindcore. Haha.

Even at the height of the '80s PMRC/Satanic Panic nonsense, they never said a word about it or tried to exercise any kind of "control" on what we listened to. At the most, they might have rolled their eyes at some of our album covers and said, "This crap is what you spend your money on?"

...Mom was a Beatles fan when she was growing up and Dad was into Elvis. Both of those artists had their own brushes with "devil music" controversy during their respective hey days, so when Tipper Gore and the gang started going after W.A.S.P. and Motley Crue, Mom and Dad must've thought "Same shit, different decade."

My parents didn't care. My Mom was a concert pianist, so she would troll me by pointing out classical parts metal bands had stolen. Lol.

My mum bought me a metal compilation CD in the 90's.

I wasn't really listening to "metal" when I was a teenager, at least not by "today's definition".  But I was into bands like Kiss, Queen, Jethro Tull, Rush, and (and here's where the story starts...) Pat Benatar.

OK, technically by the time the Pat Benatar album "Crimes Of Passion" came out I was no longer a teenager.  But I was a conniving pre-adult on break from college with an ax to grind dammit.

So my parents (God bless 'em) kept my room in their home exactly like it was when I left for college,  When I came home I started playing some of my old vinyl records I'd left in my room (like Rush 2112 and Scorpions Taken By Force) and then I started playing this "new album" I'd bought on break, "Crimes of Passion".  The track I picked for this setup was "Hell Is For Children" because I was absolutely CERTAIN my Dad would freak out if I started blaring something like "...because Hell...Hell is for children...." from my room. Normally I kept the volume at less-than-window-shattering but this time I just F'n CRANKED IT!!!!


Worked like a charm.  Sort of.  I got the reaction I was looking for but not the intensity.  My Dad quietly opened the door to my room, poked his head in and simply said "You know we don't appreciate that language around here" and when I said "But Dad, it's about the evils of child abuse" he just said "Oh", closed the door and left. 

So my setup of my uptight parents worked but the overall intensity just didn't meet my lofty expectations.  Thinking back on that incident I think that may have been when my parents started viewing me as an adult. 

Sorry for the long post but the whole "how did your parents feel about your music" is one of the touchstones of my growing up.

I was mostly raised by my grandmother, and she hated it. Just the name Judas Priest made her fear for my soul lol The funny thing is, she also bought me my first CD. The CD was AC/DC Highway to Hell. I was shocked she actually bought that one, but I was stoked. My mother was pretty indifferent about my musical tastes. She always said it was a phase I'd grow out of. She said it all the time until I brought up the fact that she still listened to the same music as an adult that she did as a child. Think a lightbulb went off after that, because she never said it again.

The only time my mom hated my music was when I almost got arrested for it. I called the wrong number one day, and this lady had on her answering machine a very religious message, and me being me, spewed out some very satanic stuff courtesy of the music I was listening to at the time. Deciding that was the best thing ever, me and a friend went through all my records and decided to call this lady every day after school and preach our religion. We must have called her every day for three weeks straight terrorising her with the most satanic lyrics we could find, and some of our own crap.

Anyways, one day I get a call from a detective and he wants to introduce himself to me and my mother. Trying as hard as I can to talk my way out of getting my mother involved, nothing I said was getting me off the hook. So I tell my mom and they talked. They wanted me to come to the station. They drag me in this room with about five cops. One of them was the lady I called, but they told me she was a cop. I could see it in her face that she was my victim though. So they proceed to play a tape of some of our finest messages, and boy oh boy did we get off some horrendous stuff. It was clear there was two voices, but they thought it was just me so my friend was never involved.

So they ask me where I learned all this, and I told them my music. They strongly suggested to my mother to throw out all my records, and told her if I ever do it again there will be an arrest made and time in juvenile hall for me. Of course I agree to throw out my music while in there. I play nice, apologize to them, winked at the lady "cop" and we got to leave. Bullet dodged. Get in the car with my very pissed off mother, and tell her she's not touching my music. We argue, I win, and the rest is history.

All that because I miss dialed a number, and was a bored vindictive little asshole lol Needless to say, my mom hated my music after that, but knew it was a part of me and nothing anyone could do would change it.

I got introduced to rock by my older sister, who was heavily into bands like Aerosmith, Kiss, Bon Jovi, Scorpions, Mr Big, Def Leppard and Ozzy.

By the time i started getting into heavier music, my parents were already used to loud music coming from my sister's room, so they didn't really care.

Raised in a Catholic house, we had the priest visit every year for the holy water benediction. He wasn't too happy with the huge Iron Maiden Live After Death poster on my bedroom's door. He never criticized though.

I still keep lots of cds in my room at my parents place. Often pass by to pick up stuff to listen to.

Fat Freddy wrote:

As long as we kept the volume low enough that they didn't have to hear it, my parents didn't really give a hoot what music my brother and I listened to... which I've always given them credit for, since we were growing up in the golden age of thrash, death metal, and grindcore. Haha.

Even at the height of the '80s PMRC/Satanic Panic nonsense, they never said a word about it or tried to exercise any kind of "control" on what we listened to. At the most, they might have rolled their eyes at some of our album covers and said, "This is what you spend your money on?"

This pretty much sums it for me. I do remember my dad watching Metallica's Cliff 'Em All video tape with me. And he told "That's not music son. That's noise!"

Let's see if my kids grow up to be metalheads. They'll get my full support.

They’re still too young now.

KISS was the gateway. They didn’t see any harm with them.
Mom took me and my pal to a 1977 KISS concert ! How cool is that !

My dad got me into bands like Van Halen, Black Sabbath, and Iron Maiden. Music is still something we connect strongly over.

My parents didn't care. They were always pretty cool about it, even buying my a couple of KISS lps when I was a kid.

Well because I was a teenager during the Satanic Panic era and PMRC bullshit, my parents HATED it. My whore of a stepmother at the time ripped all my shirts, pulled tapes out of the casings, ripped up posters, magazines, etc and all of it went in the fireplace. I am STILL pissed about it and is a good reason why I still play in metal bands. My real mother hated it as well and broke an Iron Maiden "Number of the Beast" record and ripped my Judas Priest Defenders of the Faith tour shirt. My dad was more relaxed but he was convinced my favorite bands were Satanic until he was proven differently.

My parents hated heavy metal. I grew up in a Christian household and my parents were fans of Johnny Cash and Hee Haw, lol. My mom tried to monitor what I listened to for a while then give up on that.She wanted me to listen to Christian only like Stryper and such but in the end realized it’s just music.

Lurideath wrote:

Well because I was a teenager during the Satanic Panic era and PMRC bullshit, my parents HATED it. My whore of a stepmother at the time ripped all my shirts, pulled tapes out of the casings, ripped up posters, magazines, etc and all of it went in the fireplace. I am STILL pissed about it and is a good  reason why I still play in metal bands. My real mother hated it as well and broke an Iron Maiden "Number of the Beast" record and ripped my Judas Priest Defenders of the Faith tour shirt. My dad was more relaxed but he was convinced my favorite bands were Satanic until he was proven differently.

That's horrible.

Did you ever try and destroy their music as a way to get back at them?

Mine didn't really care as long as it wasn't too loud. My mom had an in-home day care and we always had little kids so when it was nap time for them I needed to keep it down and I did. Mom and dad never really said anything about it.

The only thing I remember being said was by one of my older brothers. He was into Culture Club, Michael Jackson and stuff like that. I was playing "Heavy Metal Poisoning" by Styx and he complained to my mom that it was a song about Sex & Drugs. I told him no, this is Styx and they are saying "overloaded on sex & drugs" they are not singing about it. My mom never said anything. Mostly I listened to what is now Classic Rock. I had a few metal albums but it was all harmless mainstream stuff.

I find reading all these stories fascinating.  Keep 'em coming...

tohostudios wrote:

I find reading all these stories fascinating.  Keep 'em coming...

Well, since you asked...

If my parents had any objections to my musical tastes, they never really expressed them to me. Most of the stuff I listened to back then was pretty tame "hair metal" or classic rock anyway. Since my dad was a rock n' roller at heart, I'm sure he was ok with it, even if he didn't much care for most of it. I did go with him to see ZZ Top (he liked their videos) with the Black Crowes opening, before they were thrown off the tour for Chris Robinson's infamous rant against corporate sponsorship and ripping the tour sponsor (Miller Beer?) a new one on stage every night. Dad didn't seem to mind all the spandex and tight jeans in the crowd either.

My mom, who was more of the worrying type and watched too much Oprah and Phil Donahue, probably didn't care for that "devil music", but didn't really relate those concerns to me directly. We weren't a very religious family, but I was a pretty good kid growing up, so if heavy metal was my one vice (that they knew of anyway), they were ok with it. The only time I can really remember them giving me any kind of real criticism was over George Thorogood of all people. "All he sings about is booze and getting drunk. It's not a good example". Ok, thanks, ma.

Wrecked Neck, I thought I was a dick for ordering pizza delivery for my neighbors.

You could've given that woman a heart attack.

Big Rich wrote:

Wrecked Neck, I thought I was a dick for ordering pizza delivery for my neighbors.

You could've given that woman a heart attack.

Unfortunately, that's nowhere near the worse thing I did as a kid. We were pure evil, and I've got a lot if bad karma coming my way lol

Rare footage of Lurideath's Mom talking about destroying his records.

Why would there be more of a chance of them having a negative attitude towards it compared to anything else? They acknowledged my interest and funded tickets for concerts and stuff for my brother and I.

Mglaffas81 wrote:

Why would there be more of a chance of them having a negative attitude towards it compared to anything else? They acknowledged my interest and funded tickets for concerts and stuff for my brother and I.

See this is why my comment was more towards Gen Xers. He doesn't even understand the question.

Big Rich wrote:

Mglaffas81 wrote:

Why would there be more of a chance of them having a negative attitude towards it compared to anything else? They acknowledged my interest and funded tickets for concerts and stuff for my brother and I.

See this is why my comment was more towards Gen Xers. He doesn't even understand the question.

Admittedly, I responded to the headline without reading your initial post, which wasn't the best move. I do understand the context, though - it's very hard for me to picture it, it must have been extremely frustrating - though I will say, that it probably was less of an issue for European parents in general versus their American counterparts, but that's just my theory.

Required Fields wrote:

That's horrible.

Did you ever try and destroy their music as a way to get back at them?

No man, i tolerated her shit for another 8 months after the incident and then joined the Marine Corpse to avoid prison for extinguishing her of her life which was always on my mind. My dad still feels guilty over it because he didn't stop it. I ended up getting those cassettes over again but it took years. hahaha   I am still working on finding the shirts even if they are reprints.