Nudity

A question for all the parents on this board

How strict are you towards your kids when it comes to nudity/sex scenes in a movie? Are they allowed to watch more adult-oriented films if you watch with them?

My kids (11 and 7) are naturally interested in whatever movies my wife and I watch but we try to regulate the stuff they see. Obviously something like "Basic Instinct" would be off limits (haha), but if they happen to see a random boob for a split second in an action movie, it's not gonna kill 'em. We watched "Airplane!" together awhile ago and I'd forgotten that a topless chick runs in front of the camera for a brief instant in that (during the scene where the passengers are all panicking and running around the cabin)... my 11 year old didn't even blink. Haha.

My boys want to watch horror/monster movies with me a lot but again, many of the modern day ones are a bit grim. They love the "Tremors" series, which is perfect for them - there's just enough monster action & ooze to make them go 'Ewwwww!" but it's not graphic/gross enough to cause nightmares/gross them out.

My kids are still little (6 yr old twins and a 3 yr old), so they're still pretty guarded against adult content. They don't want to watch anything mommy or daddy are interested in. Yet.

I'm qurious - here in Denmark, a common stereotype of Americans is that nudity is the be all and end all of human deprivation - the fact that a very violent movie can receive a PG-13 rating, whilst a mild-mannered drama can receive an R-rating for showing bare breasts for 5 seconds is simply laughable - what's your take on this?

Mglaffas81 wrote:

I'm qurious - here in Denmark, a common stereotype of Americans is that nudity is the be all and end all of human deprivation - the fact that a very violent movie can receive a PG-13 rating, whilst a mild-mannered drama can receive an R-rating for showing bare breasts for 5 seconds is simply laughable - what's your take on this?

A certain segment of Americans are still so completely hung up about sex you'd think it was still the 1950s...or hell, maybe the 1850s. It's laughable and also incredibly sad.

Yep, lots of people getting shot gets a PG-13, but a couple having sex is likely to get you an R-rating. It's a perfect example of how backward this country actually is.

What SD said. That stereotype is very common here.

Mglaffas81 wrote:

I'm qurious - here in Denmark, a common stereotype of Americans is that nudity is the be all and end all of human deprivation - the fact that a very violent movie can receive a PG-13 rating, whilst a mild-mannered drama can receive an R-rating for showing bare breasts for 5 seconds is simply laughable - what's your take on this?

Yep!  I totally agree.  When softcore sex scene merits a more restrictive rating than someone being shot in the guts I think the MPAA has their priorities screwed up.

Even worse is the language gauge. Drop a few F-bombs and you're instantly in R-rated category.

^ If memory serves, in the documentary "This Film Is Not Yet Rated" about the MPAA and its bizarre, arcane system of rating films, you are allowed one F-bomb in a PG13 movie. Two or more and it's an automatic "R."

...and if you're Kevin Smith, apparently you get an NC-17 right off the bat simply because you're Kevin Smith, and you gotta bargain your way down to an "R" from there.

Fat Freddy wrote:

^ If memory serves, in the documentary "This Film Is Not Yet Rated" about the MPAA and its bizarre, arcane system of rating films, you are allowed one F-bomb in a PG13 movie. Two or more and it's an automatic "R."

...and if you're Kevin Smith, apparently you get an NC-17 right off the bat simply because you're Kevin Smith, and you gotta bargain your way down to an "R" from there.

Which shows how dumb and outdated the MPAA system is.

I don't let my girls watch over the top stuff. Like stated by FF, if there's a quick flash of skin I don't freak out. My wife is more conservative, but I remember how zealous and protective my one Aunt was, and what it did to my cousins. So, we're raising our children in a Christian household, but I don't want them heading off to college oblivious and unarmed for the world.

corplhicks wrote:

What SD said.

Yep.

scottmitchell74 wrote:

I don't let my girls watch over the top stuff. Like stated by FF, if there's a quick flash of skin I don't freak out. My wife is more conservative, but I remember how zealous and protective my one Aunt was, and what it did to my cousins. So, we're raising our children in a Christian household, but I don't want them heading off to college oblivious and unarmed for the world.

Great move Scott. My parents raised me in a VERY strict Christian home so of course the first thing I did when I got to college was experiment with a lot of the stuff they'd told me was "evil". Fortunately I wised up by my junior year but not every kid does.

It's a very fine line to walk as a parent...

It is a very fine line. I don't know where its at, and I don't think anyone does. We just have to do our best with whatever values we think are important. But yes, it's a very, very fine line.

tohostudios wrote:

scottmitchell74 wrote:

I don't let my girls watch over the top stuff. Like stated by FF, if there's a quick flash of skin I don't freak out. My wife is more conservative, but I remember how zealous and protective my one Aunt was, and what it did to my cousins. So, we're raising our children in a Christian household, but I don't want them heading off to college oblivious and unarmed for the world.

Great move Scott.  My parents raised me in a VERY strict Christian home so of course the first thing I did when I got to college was experiment with a lot of the stuff they'd told me was "evil".  Fortunately I wised up by my junior year but not every kid does.  

It's a very fine line to walk as a parent...

This is where I'm at as a parent.I was raised in a very strict home which I love them for but I had to go through the whole rebellious stage. I want my kids to be raised like I was but I don't want to be so strict that they have no idea of the world we live in.

I respect parents who monitor what their children are exposed to. It takes a ton of effort & dedication to raise your child as a decent human being. I don't have children, but as for myself, I wasn't raised all smothered like what's being described as "American". I had all the unwanted Hustler, Oui, Nugget, & Penthouses that my dad no longer wanted by the time I was like 11.

BTW, I love & respect women. I've never beaten, raped, stalked, molested, or harassed a single one...

Some people think all of those exposed to pornography (or nudity) at an early age become Ted Bundy like. It's not true at all. There are many other factors that come into play.

It's not just what is shown, but the context of what is happening and/or being said.

I was more concerned with violence and degradation of gender than mere genitalia flashing.

It's tough for me to compare my upbringing to me being a parent in this age. Things have become not only more graphic but also blurred and raw. I remember sex and violence bring very stylized and sensational; now it's becoming borderline pornographic. But the positive light there is a greater catharsis and starker realization of reality that kids don't quite understand. Bottom line is the parent has to be there whether or not more explicit viewing is allowed. I believe it can make for some great intellectual discussion between patent and child.

I kind of hate the way nudity, sex and violence get lumped in together by film censors. Three very different things. I see no problem with nudity, sex, it depends on how it's portrayed but I don't see any reason to let a child see murder, torture or warfare.

I'm not a parent, but that's how i see it.

I keep my kids away from general nudity at this point... and obviously sex.. but like Keith, a boob flash here and there won't kill them.

Violence - that really depends on the flick... obviously no R flicks at this point. My son keeps begging me to let him watch the original Total Recall (obviously a no go for an 11 year old...)

At this point, with my son going into middle school on Monday, I have to watch out for language in movies - he's starting to pick up on that stuff and thinks it funny, and I don't need him cursing like a sailor at an early age!

tohostudios wrote:

Fat Freddy wrote:

^ If memory serves, in the documentary "This Film Is Not Yet Rated" about the MPAA and its bizarre, arcane system of rating films, you are allowed one F-bomb in a PG13 movie. Two or more and it's an automatic "R."

...and if you're Kevin Smith, apparently you get an NC-17 right off the bat simply because you're Kevin Smith, and you gotta bargain your way down to an "R" from there.

Which shows how dumb and outdated the MPAA system is.  

Yep, but it's the only thing that keeps the government from stepping in and "regulating" the ratings....

I am probably a lot more lenient about what my kids can watch at their age than some folks would be, mainly because when I was a kid my parents were SUPER O.C.D. about movie ratings and I don't want to turn into a Movie Nazi like they were. It helps, of course, that I'm a film buff anyway, so I like to think I am better informed about movies than my parents were at my age.

For example: when I was 8 years old my Mom flat out refused to let me see "Star Wars" -- F*CKING 'STAR WARS' for crying out loud! -- because it was rated "PG," and in her mind that meant "there must be sex in it." Nevermind that pretty much every kid in America saw "Star Wars" multiple times, and therefore I missed out on a shared experience that defined a lot of people's childhoods in the late 70s. To this day I have never quite forgiven Mom for that one. Of course, I ended up seeing it a sh*t ton of times years later when it hit cable and video, but I didn't get to see it on a big screen till the "Special Edition" re-release in the 1990s.

(side note: In 1980, I was deemed "old enough" for "The Empire Strikes Back," though, and as we walked out of the theater after the movie I remember my Dad saying "That was pretty good... now I wish we'd seen the first one!" -- I wanted to kill him!! Haha.)

So yeah, I make sure my kids know that there are limits (Just this weekend, I shut my 11 year old down when he asked if he could watch "Freddy vs. Jason" on SyFy) but I try not to be a dick about it and just forbid stuff without really knowing what it is... If they ask about a movie I'm not familiar with I will look into it (either by watching it myself beforehand, or by reading up on it via Wiki/IMDb, etc.) and then make a judgment call. Neither of my kids has turned into a rabid psychopath (so far anyway) so I guess I'm doing OK.

.

I don't think for a second that film violence turns children into raving psychopaths, I just think it desensitizes them to the horror of true violence. To be honest though, in a time when children can watch actual beheadings and sexual stuff that would still shock me on their (or their friends if you are careful with your filters) ipad, you don't really have much chance of keeping kids away from this stuff.

The MPAA seems to be getting more repressed as the years go by.  Movies in the 1970s were much more adult than what we see now and many of them were rated PG at the time.  I bet if you re-submitted a bunch of 1970s PG films to the MPAA they would rate them "R" now.

I grew up in a very free-thinking household, my parents were always open and honest about sexuality.  I seem to remember having "the talk" with them around age 9 because I was already showing interest in girls.  They didn't restrict what I listened to, watched or read, they trusted my intelligence.  My wife and I took the same approach with our daughter and have never regretted it.  

I think it depends more on the maturity level of the child than it does age, not every 10 year old is the same.  That is why ultimately the responsibility lies with the parents, not the MPAA.

Lovecraft wrote:

The MPAA seems to be getting more repressed as the years go by.  Movies in the 1970s were much more adult than what we see now and many of them were rated PG at the time.  I bet if you re-submitted a bunch of 1970s PG films to the MPAA they would rate them "R" now.

I grew up in a very free-thinking household, my parents were always open and honest about sexuality.  I seem to remember having "the talk" with them around age 9 because I was already showing interest in girls.  They didn't restrict what I listened to, watched or read, they trusted my intelligence.  My wife and I took the same approach with our daughter and have never regretted it.  

I think it depends more on the maturity level of the child than it does age, not every 10 year old is the same.  That is why ultimately the responsibility lies with the parents, not the MPAA.

Yeah, I agree 100%. Another classic example is the 80s cult classic Killer Klowns From Outer Space. How in the world is this a PG-13 movie? You have people encased in cocoons having their brains sucked out through a silly straw, a cop being melted into a skeleton by pies thrown by the clowns, a clown using the local police chief as a puppet by sticking his hand into the cop's brain...etc, etc. And that's a PG-13? Oh...right...no F bombs. My bad.