TODAY I WATCHED... (Movies, TV, etc.) 2023

"Dragnet" (1987)

Action/comedy update of the 50s/60s cop show stars Dan Aykroyd as the hilariously uptight nephew of the original Sgt. Joe Friday and Tom Hanks (in one of his last second-banana roles before he became a leading man in his own right) as his freewheeling new partner, racing to stop a crime wave masterminded by a crooked TV evangelist (Christopher Plummer). Lots of fun, it's a shame that they never made any sequels to this because Dan & Tom were a great team.

"The Unnamable" (1988)

College students poke around in an abandoned house with a dark past, and one by one they fall victim to the deformed, homicidal something-or-other that dwells within. Yes, that's the entire plot.
Cheap, bloody haunted-house junk adapted (loosely, I assume) from an H.P. Lovecraft story. The gore and creature effects are decent but the set designs, pacing, and acting are pure junk. Followed by a sequel from the same director, which I will be sure to avoid. I suggest you do the same.

American Gothic (1988)



A woman recovering from a breakdown after the drowning death of her baby, along with her husband and a pair of other couples, go on a trip to an island in the Pacific northwest but their seaplane falters and they end up stranded on a different island. They soon stumble upon a remote home with decor from the 1920s and the bizarre family that resides within (led by Rod Steiger and Yvonne "Lily Munster" Decarlo). At first hospitable, things soon go south a the group fights for survival. Not a bad film, although some of the acting is a bit sketchy.

American Horror Story:Delicate

"Idle Hands" (1999)

The right hand of a teenage slacker (Devon Sawa of "Final Destination") develops a murderous mind of its own, and after he severs the offending limb he must find a way to stop it once and for all before it can cause chaos at the annual Halloween dance.
A goofy, gory 90s horror comedy that's kinda like a cross between "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Evil Dead 2," with a great cast (Seth Green, Vivica A. Fox, Jessica Alba) and some nasty gore effects. I missed out on this one when it was current but I got a big kick out of it all these years later.

"Fortress" (1992)

In the dystopian future of 2017 (hah!), a wrongfully-accused man (Christopher "Highlander" Lambert) plots his escape from a hellish, high-tech underground prison that's run by a tyrannical corporation.
Stuart "Re-Animator" Gordon directed this stylish low budget sci-fi/action flick with some cool set designs and futuristic gizmos, halfway decent CGI effects, and healthy doses of blood and guts. Lambert still can't act worth a damn, but the strong supporting cast includes Jeffery "Dr. Herbert West" Combs and Kurtwood "That 70s Show"  Smith who's evil as hell as the corrupt prison warden. Fun stuff!

Finally got around to:



From one of the creators of John Wick, so expect a similar-ish idea. This one is infinitely more funny. Bob Odenkirk, probably best know as Saul Goodman of Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, plays Hutch Mansell. Hutch seems dissatisfied with his middle class existence. A break-in at his home brings Hutch's past careening into his present. Christopher "Doc Brown" Lloyd plays a small-ish part as Hutch's father, and it's good seeing him on screen.

"Batman Vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" (2019)

This would've been my dream crossover in 1986 when I was a comic book addicted teenager!
The Dark Knight and the Heroes in a Half Shell team up to battle the combined forces of The Shredder and Ra's Al Ghul, who've cooked up a plan to turn everyone in Gotham City into murderous, mutated beasts -- starting at Arkham Asylum with all the major members of Batman's rogue's gallery. Mucho cartoon carnage ensues in this fast paced, funny, ultra violent animated feature.

"Clerks III" (2022)

They may be older, but they're not necessarily wiser: Dante and Randal are still working at the Quick Stop as they approach 50, when Randal suddenly suffers a near fatal heart attack. This naturally causes him to re-evaluate his life, and he decides to write and direct a movie about his experiences working in convenience stores.
The third (and presumably final) go-round for Kevin Smith's iconic characters isn't nearly as raunchy as the first two installments and has an unexpectedly dark, melancholy streak running through it. Obviously Kevin's own near-death experience had a major influence on the story.
"Clerks III" could've used a little more of Jay and Silent Bob and a lot less of the annoying "Elias" (the born-again Christian geek they picked up in "Clerks II"), but overall this was an enjoyable trip back into the View Askew-universe.

a CO-WORKER has me caught up in the newer SWAT show. It is phony as Phuck, but still entertaining.

Even checking off all the WOKE B/S in the show has kept my attention. the UNIVERSE is going to explode now.

Day Of The Animals (1977)



Nature gone wild film about the hole in the ozone layer causing heightened ultraviolet radiation into the atmosphere, causing animals to become far more aggressive and attacking any people in sight. A group of hitchhikers try to make it down the mountainside while trying to avoid any and all creatures along the way. Decent enough film, with a really good cast, but not one of the best of the genre even though it features a bare chested Leslie Nielsen trying to wrestle a grizzly bear!

"No One Will Save You" (2023)

A unique Hulu original horror/thriller about a withdrawn, troubled young woman whose solitary existence is shattered when she has to deal with some very persistent alien invaders. There's lots of creepy-cool atmosphere and suspense, heightened by the fact that the movie is almost totally dialogue-free (the main character only speaks once in the entire film). There's a side plot involving the woman's past that really didn't need to be there, since it muddies up the ending a bit, but otherwise this is a fun ride. Kudos to the young female lead (with whom I am unfamiliar) who does an excellent job in what is essentially a one-woman show for most of the movie.

Fat Freddy wrote:

"No One Will Save You" (2023)

A unique Hulu original horror/thriller about a withdrawn, troubled young woman whose solitary existence is shattered when she has to deal with some very persistent alien invaders. There's lots of creepy-cool atmosphere and suspense, heightened by the fact that the movie is almost totally dialogue-free (the main character only speaks once in the entire film). There's a side plot involving the woman's past that really didn't need to be there, since it muddies up the ending a bit, but otherwise this is a fun ride. Kudos to the young female lead (with whom I am unfamiliar) who does an excellent job in what is essentially a one-woman show for most of the movie.

Hey! I just watched this as well. 

Pretty much agree with the write up. 

Grizzly (1976)



A Jaws rip-off, set in a National Forest. An immense grizzly bear, stated to be a member of a prehistoric species, develops a taste for human flesh and goes on a feeding frenzy. It's up to the head park ranger, a helicopter pilot and a naturalist to put an end to the creature. Many, many parallels to Jaws, with three protagonists hunting the creature, the park supervisor reluctant to close the park to visitors and

Spoiler:

. Panned by critics but proved to be very successful, holding the record for box office earnings until 2 years later, broken by a certain movie called Halloween.

Paranormal Caught On Camera

Time After Time (1979)




Slick sci fi thriller about H.G. Wells (Malcolm McDowell), inventor of a time machine, pursuing his former friend, who turns out to be Jack the Ripper (David Warner) from 1893 London to 1979 San Francisco after the Ripper steals the time machine to escape from authorities. A fun movie that focuses more on the 2 and their differing adaptation to the strange new world than on the horror aspect but nonetheless entertaining.

The Green Inferno(2013)-a group of college students travel to Peru to protest a company that is destroying the rain forest and is causing local tribes to be forced of their land. On their way back home, their plane crashes and the survivors are taken prisoners by a tribe of headhunters/cannibals who slowly start slaughtering them while they desperately try to find a way to escape. Eli Roth's homage to the cannibal genre is a pretty brutal and gory ride. I was never the biggest fan of his films, but I think he did a good job with this tribute to films like Cannibal Holocaust and Cannibal Ferox.3/5

The Hole In The Ground (2019)



A little boy, living with his single mom in Irish countryside, disappears in the woods one evening. His mom goes out in search of him and soon discovers him near a huge sinkhole. After bringing him home, she begins to notice subtle changes in his behavior and personality, and soon suspects that he may not be her actual son. Slow burner, with tropes that have been played out before, but still a decent watch.

Leatherface wrote:

The Green Inferno(2013)-a group of college students travel to Peru to protest a company that is destroying the rain forest and is causing local tribes to be forced of their land.  On their way back home, their plane crashes and the survivors are taken prisoners by a tribe of headhunters/cannibals who slowly start slaughtering them while they desperately try to find a way to escape.  Eli Roth's homage to the cannibal genre is a pretty brutal and gory ride.  I was never the biggest fan of his films, but I think he did a good job with this tribute to films like Cannibal Holocaust and Cannibal Ferox.3/5

With my current feelings toward all the environmentalist tuds this might be a cathartic watch.

Dang, it's five days into SCHLOCK-tober already and I haven't watched ANY movies at all, horror or otherwise, so far! I gotta get my groove back!!

I watched a sunset over the plains of North Dakota.

Beats any movie or TV show I ever saw

BTW: I still dig movies & TV

Aenigma (1987)



A boarding school girl is badly injured and left comatose after a prank gone wrong. Not long after, a new girl arrives to the school and is possessed by the comatose girl's spirit, who then begins to enact revenge on her former tormentors, using telekinesis, telepathy and magic, I guess. This film isn't really clear on what exactly is going on, but you can come to expect that from italian made films, especially when Fulci is involved. There are some rather interesting kills in this one, but a rather bloodless affair, surprisingly and the actress playing the possessed girl is rather easy on the eyes, but this is not essential viewing.

^^ I usually dig Fulci's stuff but yea, Aenigma was a swing and a miss.

Finally getting my October horror-thon in gear!

"Scream VI" (2023)

The sisters who survived the "Woodsboro Legacy" murder spree from the last Scream movie (including Jenna "Wednesday" Ortega) have re-located to New York City to start new lives, but of course, a nut-ball in a Ghost Face mask eventually shows up and starts carving up their friends.
By this point the "Scream" sequels have become interchangeable. Some new cast members are added in every movie, one or two characters from previous films are still hanging around, and the "who-could-the-killer-be" mystery and "big reveal" ending has become formula. That said, the movie is fast paced, the change in locale allows for some cool set pieces (the scene on a subway train is inspired) and there are some good gory violent kills. If you liked the previous flicks, you might as well watch this one too.

"Elvira, Mistress of the Dark" (1988)

In the bodacious horror hostess' film debut, she inherits a creepy old house in a backwards New England town. She just wants to sell the place to finance her move to Vegas, but the townsfolk have other ideas for our heroine, including a good ol' fashioned witch burning. This campy horror comedy is lots of silly, corny fun, and of course Elvira herself is easy on the eyes as usual. A guilty pleasure.

"The Birds" (1963)

Alfred Hitchcock's tale of a spoiled socialite (Tippi Hedren) who pursues a man (Rod Taylor) to a scenic seaside town that suddenly comes under attack by massive flocks of homicidal birds.  
This was the first time I've seen this flick in its entirety; I know it's considered a classic by horror aficionados but I thought it was pretty "meh." It takes almost an hour for the avian action to kick into gear; prior to that it's just talk, talk, talk. The bird attack effects are mostly decent (by 1963 standards anyway) and Tippi Hedren was quite the piece back in the day. Worth seeing for its historical value, I guess, but I'll never sit thru it again.

Lee Kerslake : Not On The Heep

A documentary on Lee Kerslake of Uriah Heep and Ozzy fame whose last wishes are to record a new album before he passes.