Hail the Cycle Sluts From Hell!

Tell me that this doesn't rock:

http://new.music.yahoo.com/videos/CycleSlutsFromHell/Wish-You-Were-A-Beer--2161466

Too bad it was their only good song.

I cant see Youtube at work, but I assume its I Wish You Were A Beer?

I'd either like to or hate to meet those girls in a dark alley.

spectrefate wrote:

I cant see Youtube at work, but I assume its I Wish You Were A Beer?

I'd either like to or hate to meet those girls in a dark alley.

Yup, their one and only video. I'm listening to the CD right now. I picked it up from Lala a while back strictly for that song. The rest of the album is pretty "meh" but still good for an occasional chuckle.

video is no longer available, but i'm familiar with the song. it's ok, but pass the Detente.

It was available two minutes ago... ?? Frickin' YouTube. Geez. I found another copy of the same vid and re-posted, try that one I guess...

I heard Bobby Gustafson from Overkill produced and played some guitar on the album.

troublezone wrote:

I heard Bobby Gustafson from Overkill produced and played some guitar on the album.

Bobby G. didn't produce the album (Glen Robinson did) but he did play some guitar on it. I believe he's visible in the "I Wish You Were A Beer" video.

He wrote a letter to Metal Maniacs a couple of years back nit-picking about some stuff Bobby Blitz had said about him in an Overkill interview, and also talked about the other bands he'd played with. Of the Cycle Sluts he said "It was the only time I ever enjoyed getting f**ked by a band member!"

Oh that Bobby and his dirty dirty mind.

spectrefate wrote:

Oh that Bobby and his dirty dirty mind.

Those gals look like they'd tear a guy up. In a good way, of course.

Fat Freddy wrote:

It was available two minutes ago... ?? Frickin' YouTube. Geez. I found another copy of the same vid and re-posted, try that one I guess...

it's dead too.

mc666 wrote:

Fat Freddy wrote:

It was available two minutes ago... ?? Frickin' YouTube. Geez. I found another copy of the same vid and re-posted, try that one I guess...

it's dead too.

Really? Aw the hell with it, I give up... they work fine when I'm on YouTube's site but as soon as I post'em here they don't work anymore.

"We're Sorry,this video is no longer available"

thrasher73 wrote:

"We're Sorry,this video is no longer available"

Sorry, I tried 3 different versions of the same video. It would appear that YouTube hates me today.

One good song, pfft! The whole record rocks....like a grebo biker metal Shangri-Las.

Spiritual sleaze to Zodiac and a great foil to Circus Of Power back in the New York City rock n' roll daze of Raging Slab, Warrior Soul, Lunachicks, Throbs, Ramones, Waldo's and of course the aforementioned Circus Of Power.

Apparently members of Overkill, Warrior Soul, Smashed Gladys and others backed them on the record.

mc666 wrote:

it's ok, but pass the Detente.

Detente!!!!!

rattpoison wrote:

One good song, pfft! The whole record rocks....like a grebo biker metal Shangri-Las.

OK, maybe I should rephrase that... they had one GREAT song (that being "Wish You Were A Beer" obviously) and a few other decent ones. ("Bad Ass Mama" and "Conqueress" are worth a few yuks as well.)

Quote :

Apparently members of Overkill, Warrior Soul, Smashed Gladys and others backed them on the record.

Yea, I've heard that the backing band on that album was basically a "who's who" of the NYC scene at that time... the album credits aren't helpful at all for finding out who took part, though... the only "name" I know for sure is Bobby Gustafson of Overkill, I've also heard that certain unnamed Warrior Soul members may have been part of it, some of the Circus Of Power guys, hell, I've even heard that there may be a Ramone or two on that album somewhere. (They were big supporters of CSFH. C-Jay was wearing a Cycle Sluts t-shirt onstage when I saw the Ramones live years ago, and Joey also used to sport their shirts a lot in those days.)

BTW I changed the video link in my original post to a Yahoo Video link because YouTube sucks. So if anybody really wants to watch the vid, go back to the top and click the new link.

Had this on cassette way back when and used to really like it. The local City Paper used to give them a ton of press. They were in love with them and the Genitorturers.

The Cycle Sluts are on MySpace, and I found this rather interesting read about their history in the "blog" section of their page... I especially like the saga surrounding the cover photo to their one and only album...

YO, METALHEADS! Welcome to our motherf*ckin’ myspace. Though CSFH broke
up in ’91, there is so much misinformed crap being tossed around out
there that we decided to come out of hiding to set the record straight.


First of all—No, NO, NO! Contrary to dumbass reports otherwise,
Cycle Sluts From Hell were not the brainchild of famed Overkill
guitarist Bobby Gustafson. Nor were we the victims of someone pulling
“marionette strings from offstage” as reported by the Encyclopedia of
Heavy Metal. We invented ourselves, all by ourselves, imagine that!
There was no master plan, no Svengali, no C*CKS dictating the ROCK
except for Lord Roadkill, who we will get to soon enough. There was
just a lot of alcohol and good dose of mayhem. Bobby did step in to
play guitar on the album, and for a tour through Europe with Motorhead,
and we love him dearly. But we’re pretty f*cking sick of such a
retarded, sexist and erroneous rumor being regularly circulated.

HERE’S THE REAL STORY:

Cycle Sluts from Hell spawned in 1986 on a steamy summer night in New York
City, which was a much different and far better town back then. All
members worked, played, drank, and acted like fools in a small dump on
1st Avenue called the Lismar Lounge. Lismar was owned by a fairly
dubious and criminal Chinese slumlord and somehow became home to a
burgeoning NY rock and metal scene; other bands to come out at that
time were Raging Slab, Circus of Power, Warriorsoul, White Zombie, The
Throbs, Princess Pang, and a host of others we are too fried to
remember. It was a rock and roll circus every night, especially if you
didn’t mind watered liquor and dripping pipes. Jane’s Addiction did an
impromptu set one night just for the hell of it, Joe Walsh got up and
drunkenly played with The Skulls another time, Rick Ruben hung out once
in a while, and there was always one rock star or another walking
through the door and being handed a free shot of cheap liquor.

Lismar Manager Glen Benson (R.I.P. good friend!) was always coming up with a
plan, and one day declared a new party night. He dubbed it Cycle Slut
Thursday, and for entertainment’s sake an all-star staff and friend gig
was planned and performed. About 10 or so people got up and did covers
and strutted their stuff around to a full house. Granted, the house
only fit about 75 people, but it was full.

Well, needless to say the show was a blast. In fact, the show was such a success that a
few of the night’s performers decided to continue the fun and put a
band together. They chose to keep the Cycle Slut name and tack on “From
Hell”. Because we were! And to make things more entertaining we
drunkenly chose Zodiac Mindwarp style names for ourselves (love on ya,
Slam Thunderhide!). And thus was born Cycle Sluts From Hell, featuring
Honey One Percenter, Queen Vixen, Venus Penis Crusher, She-Fire of Ice,
and Lord Roadkill, who was the one body with a c*ck who was with us
from beginning to end. He wasn’t our Svengali but he was equally as
important as any of the ladies, and should be getting the credit that
is often thrown in other directions. Along with the genius Lord
Roadkill came famed Ramones producer Daniel Rey, who was enlisted to
play guitar with us. Unfortunately we were never able to convince him
to choose a silly name for himself.

The band’s lineup has always featured the four women up front singing “gang bang” style
vocals (later used to pop success by the Spice Girls, by the way), Lord
Roadkill on lead guitar, and a rotating stock of musicians and friends
playing second guitar, bass, and drums. There are too many to name and
as we get the actual website up and running we’ll put in a page to give
you some info on each one. But for now let’s just say there were more
than a few over the years.

We wrote songs purely for our own entertainment and never with any kind of serious message in mind. Our
first gig was at the Pyramid on Avenue A, and to our surprise, it was
packed to the rafters. We had a riot, and so did our good friend Joey
Ramone, who then enlisted us to play a second gig opening for the
Ramones at the Ritz on 11th Street. Joey continued to help us
throughout much of our career by booking CSFH into various shows he put
together with other local bands and taking us on small tours around the
East Coast. If it wasn’t for Joey’s generous heart and sincere love of
rock and roll we might not be writing this today. He was a great
supporter of local New York bands during his lifetime.

Sooo, anyway, things went along swimmingly: we got tons of press, everyone
wanted to f*ck us, and our gigs were packed. Soon there was a bidding
war to sign CSFH and we all felt very sexy and loved. Truthfully, many
of the bands playing around New York got signed during that time
period. If you could make it to the gig and a had a full head of long
hair you were more than likely to get a record deal in New York in the
late 80’s. And we were at the head of the headbanging pack.

CSFH almost went with A & M until we were informed that owner Herb
Alpert wanted us to change the name. He just didn’t think it was
ladylike. So we belched a couple of times and left that meeting
scratching our heads. Then there were a few others, lots of heavy
conversations and backstage handshaking, but eventually we went with
Sony--most likely because they took us to the Odeon in a limousine and
bought us a really expensive dinner.

It was a lovely relationship: Sony’s Tony Martell loved us, and we loved him. He was
like the daddy we never had. He gave us a ton of cash and we were off
and running, quickly burning through it on thigh-high boots and musical
equipment. And then before you could say “fame and fortune” we were in
the Hit Factory recording the album. There was a moment when we thought
Gene Simmons might produce the record but he wanted a gazillion dollars
and nearly all the points, and during the meeting we were more
interested in his tongue than what he was actually trying to say. So he
stomped off annoyed and Glen Robinson was chosen to produce the record.


At the studio we shared the same space with Paul Simon--Paul
during the day, us at night, and he hated us because we kept eating his
popcorn. Honey made a sign that said, “Me and Julio ate all the
popcorn” and his staff took it down, informing us that Paul didn’t
think we were nearly as hilarious as we did. Cranky midget…

We filmed a rocking video with all of our friends and came up with a
concept for the album cover: we wanted a very debauched scene featuring
a bed, us, some naked boys and remnants of food and spilled wine and
the like. We were picturing something dark and decadent and lush, like
an old masters type painting. But of course, as with all things Cycle
Slut, that concept went horribly, hideously awry. We hired famed
photographer David LaChappelle for the job, and while he is brilliant,
his vision is much different than what we had in mind. So it all ended
up being much pinker and far g*yer than we had imagined it would be,
with boys painted golden and our hair teased up as big as Divine’s. To
add to that, we had to leave for Europe to tour with Motorhead before
the cover art was put together. We naively (and drunkenly), packed our
halter tops and hot pants and got on a plane, hoping for the best from
our management and Sony’s art department. Ha!

So halfway through the tour we get the cd. Picture that scene in Spinal Tap where they get
the album and the cover is black. None blacker. Due to the David’s pink
vision and the change from CD long box to the current smaller square
packaging of today (old enough to remember the long box anyone?), the
Cycle Sluts From Hell debut CD cover turned out to be an extremely pink
background with a round, golden male ass centered on the cover. Not a
photo of the band! No debauched scene! Just a single, shining, golden
male ass. None gayer.

To which Venus began screaming, “Oh my God! There’s an ass on our record cover!! THERE’S AN ASS ON OUR RECORD
COVER!!!” Yes, indeed, my dear, there was. And that golden ass remains
there to this day, to follow us to our graves.

But the Motorhead tour was a roaring success and we came off of the road feeling like
real pros. We learned how to rock (and party) from one of the greatest
bands in the world. We started off green as hell and came back a few
months later nice and crispy. Our first show at the Hammerstein
Ballroom in London was decidedly less than stellar as we hid behind
microphones while performing for the ten cynical Brits that showed up
early enough to see us open. The British press ripped us to shreds. But
by the time we had finished roaming through Europe on a sea of alcohol
and Motorheady good times, we were ready to return to London at a whole
new level of playing. We tore down the house at our own show at
London’s Marquee, and got on the plane feeling ten feet tall and ready
to conquer America, butt shot record cover be damned.

Alas, there was a hitch in our plan for world domination. While we were
rocking the sh*t out of Europe, our beloved label master Tony Martell
was being unceremoniously shoved from his seat of power by another
major label player who hated us! Hint: he later married an extremely
skanky R & B chanteuse. Yes, it’s hard to believe that anyone could
hate a fun-loving bunch of gals and guys like CSFH, but he did, and
with a passion. Perhaps we were not skanky enough.

In any case, we never heard from Sony Records again, and they never completely
released the record in the States. They just sent out the ones they had
initially pressed, with no expectation. There was no advertising, no
promotion, and no tour budget. MTV showed our $80,000 video twice on
Headbanger’s Ball, and without a push from a label that was all they
were gonna do. The label never even called to say we were fired! But we
got the hint after a month or so, and got confirmation from a friend in
the business. (“Dude...sorry...you guys are history...”) It was a big,
fat, depressing bummer for the Sluts.

But being Sluts, we continued to persevere for a time afterwards, and toured on our own up
and down the East Coast, sometimes playing to no one, sometimes playing
to crowded rooms. Then, as with all bands, we started getting pretty
sick of one another and the lack of financial support. Also, the music
scene was changing and there were many differences within the band on
how our own music needed to evolve. You try getting four women to agree
on anything! So without too much acrimony or argument, we broke up and
went our separate ways, never to Slut again.

In the final dénouement, and in another typically CSFH bad luck blow, Beavis and
Butthead featured the video in a show segment well after the end had
come. They loved us! And that show played over and over and OVER again
during prime television time. So of course, once we were no longer a
band, we were finally in constant rotation on MTV. It was just another
kick in the leather pants.

So that is our tale, in a brief nutshell. We may add details here and there later on, but this gives
you the picture. And what are we doing now? You’ll either have to find
our myspace pages or wait until we get the actual website up and
running. Suffice to say we’re all alive and kicking and rocking.

Rock on, posers!

Ha...that part about simmons..." and during the meeting we were more
interested in his tongue than what he was actually trying to say".

that would make a great movie

sam wrote:

that would make a great movie

I agree....

too bad none of them actually play instruments

EvyMetal wrote:

too bad none of them actually play instruments

Yea, they were kinda like a metal Spice Girls (or Pu$$ycat Dolls) when you get right down to it.