I'm a Two-Ply Kinda Guy

If the FCC can federally mandate that I have a television receiver capable of receiving digital signals, why can't the government mandate the use of two ply toilet paper everywhere?

I just chaffed the hell out of my ass in the bathroom here at work.


C'mon, tell me I'm not the only cheap TP hata here!

I've always said I'll cut corners on a lot of things to save money but TP ain't one of 'em. Charmin with aloe baby!

Yeah if it doesn't have the aloe in it then Mr. Stinky Hole ain't happy. Aloe is a blessing!

This topic is a pain in the a$$.

Ummm MG, I would really like your thoughts on this topic, please.

spectrefate wrote:

Ummm MG, I would really like your thoughts on this topic, please.

If you insist.

I'm a 2-ply guy myself, but I don't like it overly soft. Tears too easily and too much of it clogs up the sh*tter. And that aloe stuff? Forget it. I tried it once and I felt like a greasy mess and had swamp a$$ for the remainder of the day.

I agree about the rough stuff at work though. You could use it to scrape barnacles off a ship's hull.

Two ply all the way but no aloe. I agree with MG on that one. I hate the roadside bathrooms TP. I think it's as bad as the paper towels.

When I travel I usually just use my hand.

My brother said when they visited Europe they used the paper towels. One of the group got a splinter from the TP.

emptytomb1 wrote:

Two ply all the way but no aloe. I agree with MG on that one. I hate the roadside bathrooms TP. I think it's as bad as the paper towels.

You'd probably be better off using the paper towels in some of those roadside restrooms.

You're doing it wrong, Spec.

1. You've gotta flush away the poop first.
2. Then you fold and fold and fold the one-ply to a nice thick level.
3. Then you dip it in the toilet water to get it moist.
4. Then wipe away. It's cool and soothing.

I am not dipping ANYTHING in the toilet!

This is a shi**y topic and it's going to take a lot of paperwork to clean up.

Hole in the toilet paper = 11 on the wall

kmorg wrote:

Hole in the toilet paper = 11 on the wall

kmorg, do you guys use toilet paper in Norway?

spectrefate wrote:

kmorg wrote:

Hole in the toilet paper = 11 on the wall

kmorg, do you guys use toilet paper in Norway?

Nah, we use baby seals......


What else??

kmorg wrote:

Nah, we use baby seals......


What else??

I figured that is what you used since you all live in Viking boats and wear bearskins as clothes. I just didn't want to come across as an arrogant American by assuming that baby seals are your butt wipes.

But(t) seriously, what did you think we use? Wooden stick? Or the three sea-shells? (That's right, I liked that movie!)

kmorg wrote:

But(t) seriously, what did you think we use? Wooden stick? Or the three sea-shells? (That's right, I liked that movie!)

What movie was that? I know that scenerio.

..and I knew you used baby seals.

Does Sly and Sandra ring a bell?

i just use an old Def Leppard t-shirt

kmorg wrote:

Does Sly and Sandra ring a bell?

Demolition Man. and I own that. Now I know what I'm watching tonite.

mc666 wrote:

i just use an old Def Leppard t-shirt

I hear those are cheaper than toilet paper, actually.

I am a 2 ply man myself, but a nice cloth shower curtain will work in a pinch......

I've exhausted my TP talk at the CMR but I am, of course, a two-ply guy.


Taking a dump in Africa will make you appreciate TP!!