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ultmetal
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ultmetal

Number of posts : 19452
Age : 51

PostSubject: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:47 pm

Having a bad week. Tell me a joke and make me laugh. Laughing

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GrandNational
Metal is in my blood
Metal is in my blood
GrandNational

Number of posts : 3774
Age : 38

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:08 pm

Sorry to hear that Scott. I'm not good with jokes, by my priest sent me this video this morning with the subject line of Late Night Xians. It's a bit sad, but it's funny too:




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GrandNational
Metal is in my blood
Metal is in my blood
GrandNational

Number of posts : 3774
Age : 38

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:11 pm

"If you do laundry in the love of God, you'll get a harvest!" Laughing very hard
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ultmetal
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ultmetal

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Age : 51

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:30 pm

Kenneth Copeland is soooo off base doctrinally it's not even funny.

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GrandNational
Metal is in my blood
Metal is in my blood
GrandNational

Number of posts : 3774
Age : 38

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:32 pm

Absolutely agreed 100%. And that Murdoch guy scares me.
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DeathCult
Master Of The Crotch Grab
DeathCult

Number of posts : 6841
Age : 44

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:34 pm

Here's a rhyme from Willie Nelson:

"Billy roy the cabin boy was a dirty little nipper.
Lined his ass with broken glass, and circumcised the skipper"

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Witchfinder
Metal is Forever
Witchfinder

Number of posts : 6698
Age : 50

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 3:13 pm

What do metalheads and Jews have in common?



They both prefer the old Testament.

Hey-o!!
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GrandNational
Metal is in my blood
Metal is in my blood
GrandNational

Number of posts : 3774
Age : 38

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 3:26 pm

Witchfinder wrote:
What do metalheads and Jews have in common?



They both prefer the old Testament.

Hey-o!!

lol! This one's a keeper.
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Schbopo
Ate his vegetables
Schbopo

Number of posts : 4958
Age : 28

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:17 pm

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse, with its inability to understand English, defecates on the floor and leaves.
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thejokeriv
Metal is my Life
Metal is my Life
thejokeriv

Number of posts : 12811
Age : 49

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:22 pm

Schbopo wrote:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse, with its inability to understand English, defecates on the floor and leaves.

And here is a picture of that horse:

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GrandNational
Metal is in my blood
Metal is in my blood
GrandNational

Number of posts : 3774
Age : 38

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:44 pm

Schbopo wrote:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse, with its inability to understand English, defecates on the floor and leaves.

Two g-ay condoms walked into a bar. One looks at the other and says, "let's get sh*tfaced tonight."

sign
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James B.
Scurvy Skalliwag
James B.

Number of posts : 9878
Age : 53

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:01 pm

The other day, I saw a youth pastor and 6 kids get out of a Honda. They were in one Accord !

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chewie
Metal is Forever
chewie

Number of posts : 5013
Age : 50

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:05 pm

Why don't blind people Bungee Jump?


















































It scares the crap out of the dog!
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DallasBlack
Zooey Addict
DallasBlack

Number of posts : 16488
Age : 39

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:56 pm

A panda goes into a resteraunt and orders some food. After he is finished, the waiter brings him the check. The Panda then shoots the waiter with a gun and proceeds to leave the resteraunt. The owner shocked yells, "What the hell do you think you're doing!" The Panda says, "Hey, buddy! I'm a Panda, look it up!" Later the owner opens up a dictionary and sees the definition of a Panda:

Panda-A large animal from Asia. Eats shoots and leaves. Very Happy
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James B.
Scurvy Skalliwag
James B.

Number of posts : 9878
Age : 53

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:34 pm

This preacher is waking through the desert in Mexico. He comes into a small town and asks a young boy where the post office is. The boy tells him, "Go down the street past the well and when you see a guy havin a siesta in the alley turn left. The second street you come to there will be a bar and the post office is right next to that" The preacher says thanks and after taking a few steps, thinks to himself. Here is a perfect chance to explain why I am really here. He turns and tels the boy. I plan to open and church here and tell foks about Jesus and how to get to heaven. The boy laughs really really hard. The preacher asks, "what's so funny". The boys says, "you don't even know how to get to the post office".

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Jesusandmetal23
If it jams it jams
Jesusandmetal23

Number of posts : 1023
Age : 120

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:18 pm

What does Eric Clapton have in common with coffee?

They both suck without Cream...
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007
Metal is my Life
Metal is my Life
007

Number of posts : 26886
Age : 50

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:27 pm

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a
young girl for the night.

Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

'I'm 90 years old,' he says.

'90!' replies the woman. 'Don't you realize you've had it?'

'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?

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James B.
Scurvy Skalliwag
James B.

Number of posts : 9878
Age : 53

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:34 pm

Jesusandmetal23 wrote:
What does Eric Clapton have in common with coffee?

They both suck without Cream...


The REAL joke is.......

What does 7 Eleven coffee and Ginger Baker have in common....they both suck without CREAM.

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Leatherface
Metal is my Life
Metal is my Life
Leatherface

Number of posts : 14980
Age : 47

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Thu Aug 04, 2011 11:25 pm

Jesus walks into a hotel with a cross and three nails. He asks the desk clerk "Can you put me up tonight?"
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Troublezone
Dog Will Hunt!
Troublezone

Number of posts : 12404
Age : 43

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Fri Aug 05, 2011 3:43 am

GrandNational wrote:
Schbopo wrote:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse, with its inability to understand English, defecates on the floor and leaves.

Two g-ay condoms walked into a bar. One looks at the other and says, "let's get sh*tfaced tonight."

sign

 


Last edited by Troublezone on Fri Nov 23, 2018 1:30 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Troublezone
Dog Will Hunt!
Troublezone

Number of posts : 12404
Age : 43

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Fri Aug 05, 2011 3:46 am

What kind of ice cream do Lesbians like?



























KlonDYKE bars






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Metallic Blaze
Exo-Kill!
Metallic Blaze

Number of posts : 6497
Age : 41

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Fri Aug 05, 2011 4:02 am

Troublezone wrote:
What kind of ice cream do Lesbians like?



























KlonDYKE bars















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Jesusandmetal23
If it jams it jams
Jesusandmetal23

Number of posts : 1023
Age : 120

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Fri Aug 05, 2011 4:37 am

Whats the difference between a musician and a savings bond?





































































One day, the savings bond will mature and earn money.
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exact33
The King
exact33

Number of posts : 22616
Age : 45

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Fri Aug 05, 2011 8:22 am

Jesusandmetal23 wrote:
Whats the difference between a musician and a savings bond?





































































One day, the savings bond will mature and earn money.

lol!

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thejokeriv
Metal is my Life
Metal is my Life
thejokeriv

Number of posts : 12811
Age : 49

PostSubject: Re: Jokes...   Fri Aug 05, 2011 8:28 am

What do you call a lezbo dinosaur? A lickalottapus
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